RE: Newbie Life. Sigh.

RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (Full Version)

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Dvr22999874 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/19/2016 10:51:41 PM)
Hands is a strong unionist. He actually struck the other day.

Gauge -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/19/2016 10:57:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 Hands is a strong unionist. He actually struck the other day. When Hans unite it is called a clap. Does Hands have the clap?

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/19/2016 11:12:42 PM)
He says that you're gonnahear more about this

Gauge -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/19/2016 11:16:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 He says that you're gonnahear more about this Right. Hands has the clap. Hans does not. Much like Goofus and Gallant. You need to just admit that Hands is not what you thought they were. Hans is.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/19/2016 11:17:58 PM)
Hands thinks, therefor he is...................Rene Declock

DarkSteven -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/20/2016 12:01:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yours2Teach82 Finally found the reply button. Lol. Thank you! I had so many that referred to me as "slut" and the n word prematurely. I needed a reminder on when the proper level of reappear was shown. But it seems it's all earned and I'm still in control of i understand correctly. Excellent. You're able to screen out scumbags quickly and easily. Block and delete. Look, forget that the guy calls himself a Dom. Would you take that crap from anyone you were in a relationship with? How'd you feel when he called you a slut? If you resented it, pipe up and say so. You have a voice in the relationship.

NookieNotes -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/20/2016 3:01:13 AM)
I'll agree with what's been said here. I'll also say this: Just like regular dating, it can take time to find the right one. Time and dedication. Use sites like this and FetLife. get out to local munches and actually meet people that do this in real life (you'll find that a lot of people online are just playing online, and don't really "do" this). Know the difference between dominant and top. A top will do the activities like spanking and flogging and fire play. A dominant is a mental leader and guide. This is good to know, because you may want to play with tops while exploring your options, and create a relationship with a dominant. OR, you may find you want just a top and not a dominant, or vice versa. Dominants may be tops and tops may be dominants, but they are not the same thing. Some people will be very good at getting your body reacting, but not so much your mind. Know the difference for yourself, and understand that is just another part of the search. smiles

Yours2Teach82 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 2:53:38 PM)
Somehow my notifications were off as I'm just reading most of these replies. I'm tentatively saying I've learned how to respond/block the jerks that I wouldn't take that crap from outside of this wonderful life. Thanks everyone for your help. I do have another situation though. I started chatting with a Dom Sun evening. A few actually, but this one stood out. His approach was very caring and patient and it appealed to me on a level I can't understand yet. He's everything I imagined I would meet on this site. My issue is he won't tell me his name, though he's requested mine. First meet is desired to be at a hotel. And I have no pics. No pics, I can handle. I always over analyze pics, find a line or a crease wrong and talk myself out of it. I have a general description and that's satisfactory to me. I'd much rather focus on his Dominance than his appearance. Anyway, I was entertaining the idea when I was on the high of being on the cusp of submission. Now that the "date" is 24 hours away, my feet are beyond cold. Freezing actually. If this were vanilla, I'd run screaming through the hills away from such an idea..

OsideGirl -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 3:04:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yours2Teach82 First meet is desired to be at a hotel. I wouldn't do it. A first meet is a time to figure out if you like someone enough to get to know them. I always made it really clear that there would be no sex or play on the first meeting or first date (which is different than a first meet). It was safer for me and got rid of the guys that just wanted to get laid. In your particular case, I'd be wondering why a hotel? Particularly since he won't give you a name.

smallpee -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 3:11:24 PM)
I agree with OsideGirl. Any so-called Dom who won't give you his name or verify his phone/address/status is NOT someone to trust for a first meet.

Yours2Teach82 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 3:25:45 PM)
Right. I guess I asked a question I knew the answer to thinking it would suck less reading it. Which it didn't. Thanks guys.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 3:42:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yours2Teach82 Right. I guess I asked a question I knew the answer to thinking it would suck less reading it. Which it didn't. Thanks guys. Suggest coffee in a public space. If he can't handle that he's up to something

OsideGirl -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 3:59:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: Yours2Teach82 Right. I guess I asked a question I knew the answer to thinking it would suck less reading it. Which it didn't. Thanks guys. Suggest coffee in a public space. If he can't handle that he's up to something Yup...and buy your own coffee, set a time limit and don't let him walk you to your car.

cloverodella -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 4:15:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Yup...and buy your own coffee, set a time limit and don't let him walk you to your car. And I'd watch that coffee the same way I'd watch a drink in a bar, making sure he doesn't slip something in it. If he's in a hurry to meet without giving you any personal details, that's a no-go red flag to me. He's probably married at the very least. If you can't do even a cursory internet search on the guy, something is fishy. I understand not posting pictures in a profile, but he's giving you zero to trust on. There is no rush. Get to know any man before meeting him. If you don't feel 100% comfortable about him, do not meet. And when you do, it's a good idea to check in with a friend who knows where you're going and who you're with, just to make sure you're ok.

kiwisub22 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 4:38:54 PM)
My late dom and my Sweetie both told me their names, fairly early in the piece. I met one at Barnes and Noble - because I love books and if he didn't turn up or I didn't like him, the time wouldn't be wasted, and the second I met at a bar, early in the afternoon, no alcohol involved. I also had their cell phone numbers. Sometimes if it feels too good to be true, it is.[:o]

Yours2Teach82 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 5:21:12 PM)
Update: I decided to be open and share my reservations with him. He immediately called me (on my cell, no skype. ICK) and we talked through it. I have his first name now. (Which still needs verification), he understood my concerns and readily agreed to Starbucks instead. I feel reassured, but will still keep a close eye on my Macchiato and I have a friend prepped with Find My IPhone. Thank you all so much!

DarkSteven -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/21/2016 9:51:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yours2Teach82 Update: I decided to be open and share my reservations with him. He immediately called me (on my cell, no skype. ICK) and we talked through it. I have his first name now. (Which still needs verification), he understood my concerns and readily agreed to Starbucks instead. I feel reassured, but will still keep a close eye on my Macchiato and I have a friend prepped with Find My IPhone. Thank you all so much! Why was he at a hotel? Either he's just visiting your city or else he is looking ahead too quickly and too optimistically. And if he DOES live in your city, why is his own place off limits? I smell a married or otherwise taken man. You do realize that you joined three days ago, right? You don't need to find a Dom within 72 hours.

Yours2Teach82 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/22/2016 7:22:59 AM)
We agreed on a simple meet and greet today. I'm hoping to get more clarification. After researching the past few days, i realized we should date like vanilla and a commitment isn't quickly necessary. I thought it was. I agree that my eagerness got me into trouble and possibly sent the wrong message. I'm usually very level headed and too cautious. It went right out of the window this week apparently. If nothing else, it will be educational. its really a tough transition as a newbie. This is my only form of guidance and I live in a rural town with munches hours away.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/22/2016 8:40:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yours2Teach82 We agreed on a simple meet and greet today. I'm hoping to get more clarification. After researching the past few days, i realized we should date like vanilla and a commitment isn't quickly necessary. I thought it was. I agree that my eagerness got me into trouble and possibly sent the wrong message. I'm usually very level headed and too cautious. It went right out of the window this week apparently. If nothing else, it will be educational. its really a tough transition as a newbie. This is my only form of guidance and I live in a rural town with munches hours away. You seem intelligent and eager. You also seem very self aware. You'll be fine. Just trust that gut and don't second guess yourself. Good luck and tell is how it goes!

Yours2Teach82 -> RE: Newbie Life. Sigh. (9/22/2016 9:12:05 AM)
Greatlilbabygirl..thank you so much. I needed that boost in confidence! I will update upon my return. I asked him to read my posts and he suggested I update as well. Lol.

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