RE: Breaking up with partner

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RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/25/2016 9:29:59 PM

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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I have to say: I vehemently disagree with a couple of things you've said since I last posted (I had to drive about 300 miles, today. I left at 14.00, my time).

First, there's this gem:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

The crappy thing is I got him a custom made leather cuff bracelet that I've been waiting on for a few weeks and it came in yesterday.
I still want him to have it. I said I'd see him tomorrow morning to give it to him.

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! DANGER!

Do not ... No ... Under no circumstances should you be face-to-face with this person. Consider the USPS or UPS or FedEx or ... I don't give a damn which. I can guarantee you, on some level, it will hurt you.

Then, we have this nugget:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

... Imma focus on my husband and just detox from my Daddy.

So ... your husband is your "Plan B"? You run from one relationship to another relationship as a "repair"?

If that's the case, nicht ser gut!

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 2:55:29 AM

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Joined: 1/9/2016
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reading the responses this morning OP I have come to the conclusion you are mixing up BDSM and Poly, you don't need to be poly to be BDSM nor you don't need to be into BDSM to be poly.

watch big love, perfect example. even reality tv shows depicting poly.

it's confusing to me that your husband is not making you happy so you stay married to him and find other sexual partners and not only that search out a poly Dominant to make you happy as well.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 4:14:11 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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FR
You married a submissive male as your husband. But you long for someone to top you.

That's the gist of what I am reading into everything. A tiny concern is, your husband loves you and doesn't feel good about you being with other men, but because he is also submissive, he is submitting to your wishes. If you really think about it. You are your husband's domme. What you are doing to him, is the same as what your dominant is doing to you. Except, unlike your husband, you don't really care that deeply about your new dominant to take his crap.

I think alot of people have plenty of opinions here, but you did the right thing by taking a stand and ending it with the dominant, because, I feel end of the day, both of you are not meeting each other needs.

I still feel in the whole D/S BDSM thing. It's still just simply about finding someone who is in the same zone as you about it.

I think no matter what, all of us relate to it differently. Whatever dynamic that two people can mutually agree on it to be, is a good dynamic in my opinion.

All you can do is focus on finding that dynamic.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 4:41:23 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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Thanks Greta

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 4:42:45 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

reading the responses this morning OP I have come to the conclusion you are mixing up BDSM and Poly, you don't need to be poly to be BDSM nor you don't need to be into BDSM to be poly.

watch big love, perfect example. even reality tv shows depicting poly.

it's confusing to me that your husband is not making you happy so you stay married to him and find other sexual partners and not only that search out a poly Dominant to make you happy as well.

I've come to the conclusion you have trouble with reading comprehension.

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 4:45:55 AM

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Joined: 1/9/2016
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um nope

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 5:48:00 AM

Posts: 32563
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<Fast reply because I'm just not going to be detail oriented enough to quote everyone.>

OP, for whatever reason or justification you *think* you have, you have come to the conclusion that the secondary relationship is over. Cool. Everybody return everyone's (material) property ('cause that's the decent thing to do). The mask is yours. You bought it. You own it. Only a douche is going to try to "hold it hostage"

However, the same holds true for you. You bought this 'cuff' with the other person in mind. It's not a manipulation tool or an object to attempt to hold power over the other person. If it was supposed to be a gift, then give it to him, with no strings attached. Get over the idea that it's about YOU. If you can't give the gift without thinking the other person has to / should feel a certain way about it, it's not really a gift. That's YOU trying to be manipulative over a material object.

The part about you and your husband...

Who the f^ck *cares* what other people call it? Are you inviting other people into your bedroom to give an opinion poll? I honestly couldn't give a sh^t if your form of bondage is a piece of thread. If you are having fun and your husband is having fun, run with it!

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 6:11:01 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

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Joined: 9/9/2016
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Lol.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 6:52:55 AM

Posts: 32563
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Lol.

My apologies. I had responded to this thread thinking that you have a sh^t.

Blessed be.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 7:18:32 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Lol.

My apologies. I had responded to this thread thinking that you have a sh^t.

Blessed be.

I thought your comment was clever. Did I offend?

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 7:48:49 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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The jerk wasn't even home when I got there. I left the gift and a note hanging on his door. I just asked he text me when he got it.
He just called saying he was on his way back home.

Games
Playing games

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 9:08:48 AM

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Joined: 1/19/2010
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Or maybe something came up.

Now's a great time to consider whether you are a bottom or a sub.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 9:31:52 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

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Joined: 9/9/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Or maybe something came up.

Now's a great time to consider whether you are a bottom or a sub.

I told him I couldn't be his sub anymore but I'd consider bottoming occasionally

(in reply to Alecta)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 10:08:21 AM

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Joined: 1/19/2010
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I said to consider in general if you are a sub or bottom, not with him, sigh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
I told him I couldn't be his sub anymore but I'd consider bottoming occasionally

You realise that this is like telling your ex-boyfriend "we can't see each other anymore but we can fuck now and then"?
Do we need to discuss why this is easily the worst thing to do?

So, case 1, you actually want the relationship to continue, you just broke up with him in a fit of temper because you want to be the be-all end-all of his D/s world, but maybe with some expectation adjustment you'd be happy to revisit a relationship... and you were being a manipulative shrew "breaking up" with him.

Case 2, you don't actually want to continue the relationship, you're only saying that to him to seem like you're above it and being "the bigger person" and manipulate him into... whatever you think he's going to think or feel, which I will bet is not what he's actually going to think of feel, and you're being a manipulative shrew in telling him that.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 10:19:31 AM

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quote:

The jerk wasn't even home when I got there.

Babe, you just dumped the guy, you're likely not that high on his priorities right now.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 10:25:17 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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No, we both agreed taking a step back and releasing me as his sub was the best solution. I suggested it was that or we'd just have to stop seeing eachother completely. It makes more sense this way. He needs to find a primary. I can't be that for him and I was getting possessive. He said he didn't want to stop seeing me. So we are still cool and no one is upset.
It feels right

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 10:26:38 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

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Joined: 9/9/2016
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I don't see why adjusting the dynamic after having a discussion with him this morning is a bad thing.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 10:52:05 AM

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Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
No, we both agreed taking a step back and releasing me as his sub was the best solution.

Do you know what 'releasing me as his sub' means??
It means.... breaking up.

So you're going to be his fuck-buddy??
And on who's terms will that be on? Yours or his??

So despite all the wailings on several threads, you still won't give him up no matter what.
Do you realise just how damaging that is?

I agree with Alecta - you are nothing more than a manipulative shrew ruling the roost, as you've always tried to do.
We have names for people like you and it's not pleasant.

You are both as bad as each other and still totally clueless the pair of you.
Perhaps you both need to be in the same train wreck; maybe one of you will learn something.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 11:01:45 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

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Joined: 9/9/2016
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I don't see why fuck buddies is bad. He's ok with it. He didn't need me being possessive and jealous but still wants to see me. It's a good compromise for us both.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Breaking up with partner - 9/26/2016 11:03:11 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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Relationships are supposed to adjust as need and expectations change. I see this as a positive.

Edit: and so does he. This gives him the chance to find his primary without my jealousy being an issue and we can still have eachother in our lives. I think this was a mature decision.

< Message edited by Greatlilbabygirl -- 9/26/2016 11:04:16 AM >

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

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