Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the head and shoulders

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Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the head ... - 9/27/2016 7:12:44 AM

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From: Somewhere Texas
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Alright, anyone that knows me knows three very important things about me.

1) Never approach me before I have had my first pot of coffee in the morning, lest I smite them with the most readily available item.
2) I am not a morning person
3) Never use the word good in connection with morning in my presence.

Well, I log into face book this morning and across the top of my feed are the words "Good Morning Jeff" in big bold text.

Now lets start with number three:

A few facts:
A) 98% of the most devastating natural disasters to strike in the course of KNOWN history have happened before NOON!
B) In point of fact, of those, 73% happen before 10 AM, with the majority of those happening before dawn.
C) The odds of having a heart attack are higher before 10AM.

So in essence, while you may be wishing someone a good morning, you really have no clue as to what mother nature is going to do to you before noon, or even if you are going to survive until lunch.

I am sorry, but if someone tells me good morning and then a few hours later and before noon, an asteroid hits the planet, I will hold them personally responsible.

Again, I am not a morning person, never have been.

I have been known to destroy alarm clocks.

Using everything from shoes, hammers and throwing them against walls.

It is therefore my opinion that the moron who has decided to put that "good morning ______" bullshit on Facebook or any other social networking site should be taken out and beat/whipped/tortured until they have learned the error of their ways.

As for the person that hired that person, in this case Zuckerburg, should be placed in a room with Trump and Hilary, and the three of them fed nothing but taco bell and prune juice for a week.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/27/2016 8:28:58 AM

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I had assumed that Hilary and Donald were ALREADY having lots of prune juice. . .

(in reply to jlf1961)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/27/2016 8:34:37 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2016
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You're safe from Zuckerberg's planned meteorite impact, d00d: it's been worked out as a selective extinction event which will only wipe out those who aren't on facebook.
(Unless it's Bozos who's doing that to wipe out the last two bookshops on the internet that Amazon hasn't assimilated. In which case, only Kindle owners will be saved.)

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to jlf1961)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/27/2016 9:14:03 AM

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I'm glad to see I'm not the only one angered by that good morning shite.

Needles

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/27/2016 6:36:07 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Count me in.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/28/2016 4:12:55 PM

Posts: 2111
Joined: 1/15/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Alright, anyone that knows me knows three very important things about me.

1) Never approach me before I have had my first pot of coffee in the morning, lest I smite them with the most readily available item.
2) I am not a morning person
3) Never use the word good in connection with morning in my presence.

Well, I log into face book this morning and across the top of my feed are the words "Good Morning Jeff" in big bold text.

Now lets start with number three:

A few facts:
A) 98% of the most devastating natural disasters to strike in the course of KNOWN history have happened before NOON!
B) In point of fact, of those, 73% happen before 10 AM, with the majority of those happening before dawn.
C) The odds of having a heart attack are higher before 10AM.

So in essence, while you may be wishing someone a good morning, you really have no clue as to what mother nature is going to do to you before noon, or even if you are going to survive until lunch.

I am sorry, but if someone tells me good morning and then a few hours later and before noon, an asteroid hits the planet, I will hold them personally responsible.

Again, I am not a morning person, never have been.

I have been known to destroy alarm clocks.

Using everything from shoes, hammers and throwing them against walls.

It is therefore my opinion that the moron who has decided to put that "good morning ______" bullshit on Facebook or any other social networking site should be taken out and beat/whipped/tortured until they have learned the error of their ways.

As for the person that hired that person, in this case Zuckerburg, should be placed in a room with Trump and Hilary, and the three of them fed nothing but taco bell and prune juice for a week.

That's pretty fucking difficult to argue with.

(in reply to jlf1961)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/30/2016 3:03:37 AM

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Joined: 9/25/2010
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I like the good morning. In fact, I have a program on my computer that gives me a beautiful new picture each morning, a quote for the day, tells me good morning by name, and asks me what I'd like to focus on that day. If, like me, you sit down at the computer while still in your bathrobe and gripping a cup of coffee, it's a nice way to set the tone for the day. If Facebook gets in on all that niceness, that's fine with me.

(in reply to jlf1961)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/30/2016 5:37:53 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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You're obviously a morning person.

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/30/2016 5:57:38 PM

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I like the good morning. In fact, I have a program on my computer that gives me a beautiful new picture each morning, a quote for the day, tells me good morning by name, and asks me what I'd like to focus on that day. If, like me, you sit down at the computer while still in your bathrobe and gripping a cup of coffee, it's a nice way to set the tone for the day. If Facebook gets in on all that niceness, that's fine with me.

Morning people should be horse whipped.

Perky morning people should be horse whipped and then flogged.

And if they are perky morning people before I have my first pot of coffee, then the whipping and flogging is just a preliminary to the real pain.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/30/2016 7:43:04 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Except, if you're capable of whipping and flogging before coffee, you're obviously a morning person also.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to jlf1961)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 9/30/2016 7:56:49 PM

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Except, if you're capable of whipping and flogging before coffee, you're obviously a morning person also.

I did not say the whipping and flogging would take place before my coffee.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/7/2016 5:15:19 AM

Posts: 167
Joined: 9/24/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I like the good morning. In fact, I have a program on my computer that gives me a beautiful new picture each morning, a quote for the day, tells me good morning by name, and asks me what I'd like to focus on that day. If, like me, you sit down at the computer while still in your bathrobe and gripping a cup of coffee, it's a nice way to set the tone for the day. If Facebook gets in on all that niceness, that's fine with me.

I swear I just saw a documentary on psychopaths, and this was an exact quote on how they start their day!

I understand now why they do what they do.

_____________________________

A dominant man is not a man who is content to simply receive submission; a dominant man is not so obliging.

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/7/2016 5:21:13 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Except, if you're capable of whipping and flogging before coffee, you're obviously a morning person also.

I did not say the whipping and flogging would take place before my coffee.

It might not even take place before two in the afternoon, never mind before coffee, I'd suspect...

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to jlf1961)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/7/2016 5:38:25 AM

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Joined: 1/2/2005
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Are you one of those guys who stands on his porch in a bathrobe yelling at kids to get off his lawn?

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(in reply to WhoreMods)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/7/2016 7:12:54 AM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I like the good morning. In fact, I have a program on my computer that gives me a beautiful new picture each morning, a quote for the day, tells me good morning by name, and asks me what I'd like to focus on that day. If, like me, you sit down at the computer while still in your bathrobe and gripping a cup of coffee, it's a nice way to set the tone for the day. If Facebook gets in on all that niceness, that's fine with me.

girl..damn..you are too good. I start my day with a bladder alarm warning waking me up and I attempt to make it to the bathroom pre-trickle..don't always make it since going from my room to the bathroom involves navigating an obstacle course of cats and their toys as well as errant nerf bullets, misplaced Keds and other items all the while listening to the radio station which is my body and only has one song..the theme from the Rice Crispies commercial. Snap. Crackle. Pop..interspersed with lots of "fucking cats" and "fucking boys" ... (5 grandsons..no granddaughters..it's not a gender thing..lol).

It's a crap shoot after that depending on dribbilage. Ideally, coffee is next..but it could also be a wait for the hot water and in our place that takes a minute so I get to sit there with pee on me.

I hate fucking mornings and if it weren't for coffee, I would rather they not exist at all. Now, that said..if things were different and I could wake up with perfect hair, fresh breath and my lip stick glistening like a sit-com mom in pearls..I might re-think.

I'm flexible.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/7/2016 6:08:48 PM

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Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

When someone looks at me and says "Good morning" I say "You're half right".

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/7/2016 9:40:46 PM

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baldrick

Are you one of those guys who stands on his porch in a bathrobe yelling at kids to get off his lawn?

Nope, no kids around here....

And considering it is west texas, the lawn is a mix of patches of red clay, prickly pear cactus and freaking hell spawned mesquites that keep popping up no matter what I do to them

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Baldrick)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/8/2016 5:31:24 AM

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

girl..damn..you are too good. I start my day with a bladder alarm warning waking me up and I attempt to make it to the bathroom pre-trickle..don't always make it since going from my room to the bathroom involves navigating an obstacle course of cats and their toys as well as errant nerf bullets, misplaced Keds and other items all the while listening to the radio station which is my body and only has one song..the theme from the Rice Crispies commercial. Snap. Crackle. Pop..interspersed with lots of "fucking cats" and "fucking boys" ... (5 grandsons..no granddaughters..it's not a gender thing..lol).

It's a crap shoot after that depending on dribbilage. Ideally, coffee is next..but it could also be a wait for the hot water and in our place that takes a minute so I get to sit there with pee on me.

I hate fucking mornings and if it weren't for coffee, I would rather they not exist at all. Now, that said..if things were different and I could wake up with perfect hair, fresh breath and my lip stick glistening like a sit-com mom in pearls..I might re-think.

I'm flexible.

Yep, I get it, on almost all counts, actually. My bladder doesn't wait until morning. It's awful that I've reached the point (reached the age?) where I feel like I've just won a prize if I've slept through the whole night. My hot water also takes time, so I turn on the shower and then go get coffee going before I actually get in. And waking up with perfect hair? I have long, curly hair. There is absolutely no recovering it to normalcy after a night of tossing around in bed. I have friends and family who run a brush through their hair and they're ready for the day. Me? A brush would get stuck in my hair and then there's no going anywhere until that gets sorted out. It's quicker to just shower and start from scratch. :)

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Zuckerburg needs to be beaten profusely about the h... - 10/8/2016 9:39:28 AM

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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You know, they say that Hitler, Stalin, Bundy all had one thing in common....

They were morning people.

While it is not scientific by any means, it does cast some doubt on morning people.

And, from a personal note, morning people are bad enough, but Perky morning people are the worst.

Now Sgt Major Brumley had the right idea:

Sergeant Ernie Savage: Beautiful morning, Sergeant!
Sergeant Major Basil Plumley: What are you a fucking weatherman now?

Sgt. Ernie Savage: Good morning, Sergeant Major.
Sergeant Major Basil Plumley: How do you know what kind of goddamn day it is?

Now, every grunt who ever slogged through the shit knows:

Sargents talk to god.

God talks to Sargent Majors.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Kaliko)

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