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Losin what's left - 10/1/2016 10:33:17 PM

losinleft

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/1/2016
Status: offline

From what I've gathered in my research, it's appropriate to be respectful. The netiquette, said as much and honestly... I felt I wasted some time reading it, since common courtesy was; at one time, a living breathing beast that was beat into my head at a young age.

I've read other posts and found some answers to the questions that haven't quite formed in my mind; inevitably leading to more bloody questions.

This is all so very frustrating. I'm typically more informed and over prepared, and now I'm at a loss.

It seems that some dominate females are in to both sexes, some are just into men; and fewer still are into only women. Which kind of makes sense. How though, to zero in on my preference? How to then, set aside pride and actively pursue the overall goal? With that said, is pride, inexperience, nervousness, or (dare I say) fear or curiosity of the unknown, perceived as a weakness? A character flaw? is self confidence encouraged by a dominate? Can a sub be self confident and obedient? Perhaps I'm just rambling, or attempting to clarify; as to be better understood, however you choose to define it is fine. Is the term disrespect subjective, based on personal preference? Or is there some universal rule in this lifestyle?

Truthfully, I'd like just to have a normal conversation about some socially 'abnormal,' topics. Ha.

I'm not extremely young or inexperienced. I do not have a comprehension issue, I take critisim in stride and yet I still feel that finding a female domme just to chat with about this lifestyle; which is more than just a curiosity, will be more difficult than I'd imagined.
Ah well. Instant gratification wasn't what I was looking for either; difficult tends to lean more toward satisfactory than easy anyhow.

Please excuse my rant, or any unintentional discomfort or annoyance. I really just can't seem to find my nitch; in general. Ha. Or rather; I am actively seeking my nitch. Ha.

In short, i would very much appreciate any female dommes who would indulge my curious, inquisitive nature.
Please, and thank you for readin my post.

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/1/2016 11:02:05 PM

epiphiny43

Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

NOT the target audience for your question, but:
You are looking for consistency and rules where there are only far too few unique and idiosyncratic individuals. ALL generalities about perverted people, female Dommes or fetish society are disconnected from reality and misleading. Even this one.
I've spent a lifetime looking for a compatible Domme, and found one good friend who had bits and pieces of time over a few years to enjoy me. (And one serious but unfulfilled courtship.) You/we are on the wrong end of a bad demographic, sub men are everywhere, out dominant women rare, picky, and more often looking for excellent servants than sexual objects. (Underground Dommes who are Very much in control of husbands and Bfs abound but most seem to have a serious aversion to publicly appearing other than in conventional socially accepted roles, outside of intimate friends.) My impression, particularly from reading personals ads (addictively!), is that there could be 3 times the real dominant women who prefer sub women to those looking for sub men. And these few F/m Dommes appear to have wide choices, and about the same compatibility with most whom they meet as subs men do, not much. We'd have better luck finding dominant partners if we were gay, but I don't think anyone actually chooses sexual orientation.

< Message edited by epiphiny43 -- 10/1/2016 11:05:27 PM >

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/2/2016 10:28:00 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If all you want is conversation about things that confuse you about female led relationships, then ask them here. You'll get multiple answers which will help you realize that women are not a hive mind, and that what makes one person happy doesn't work for someone else.

If you want to meet people, I suggest attending munches. make friends. Get vetted for dungeons and play parties and go there. Get to know the regulars and ask if they would top you next month. Don't hassle them to do things immediately when they already have plans.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/2/2016 11:11:48 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Grrrrr.

One of my personal pet peeves are those who don't know the difference between the words "dominant" and "dominate". Sorry/Not sorry, but I'm just not going to waste my time on that.

Sooo... Are you, perhaps, one of those folks who thinks that you create a profile on an internet site, and people are just going to have a vested interest? There are over seven *billion* people on the planet. I meet dozens of people each month that I will invest in more than somebody who took ten minutes (or less) to create a profile on an internet site.

Will I spend time on you, just because we happen to be on the same site, rather than folks who boot up and show up to events? Probably not.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/2/2016 11:13:16 AM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

I'm not even sure what the OP is on about.

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/2/2016 1:14:25 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Hello A/all,

First, I must concur with The LadyPact on the 'dominate' vs. 'dominant' issue, *Double Grrr*

To the O\P: First, welcome to CollarSpace! Second, relax, you just got here! ;-D

Now to the rest:

Entering into the D/s lifestyle was indeed scary for me. I am sure that it was/is for
others too. You're not alone there. Acknowledging your nervousness and/or fear is NOT weakness.
Failure to face it is.

Self confidence and obedience/submission are NOT mutually exclusive, period! I believe that I'm as
good a man as any. The fact that I am differential to women in general; and, wish to find a Lady to
subordinate myself to, does not change that. On the other hand,Take any "pride" you may have and
cache it in a safe place.

Finding an appropriate dominant woman for yourself takes patience. Obstacles include, but are not
limited to: distance [Texas is so far away and Alaska further still ;-)]; interest, either in you or your
'style' of submission; timing, and many other factors.

Is there a universal rule in this lifestyle...?

You will have to explore... yourself... and this lifestyle. The "Ask A Mistress" forum has been a good
place for me. I hope that it will be for you too. People have been kind and helpful here. I try to
contribute in the same spirit.

Best wishes to you in your adventure!

Respectfully,
Mike

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/2/2016 2:09:40 PM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

You identities and paraphrasing are similar and equate to malarkey leave them be on here.

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/2/2016 11:22:41 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
I'm not even sure what the OP is on about.

I'm not, either. I just have my best guess.

The rant is about the one millionth, three hundredth and sixty-fifth thousandth to create a profile on some random kink site (CM) and just can't figure out what Dominant women aren't falling all over themselves to "chat" with said random person and waste hours of valuable time on such a thing because we just really don't have anything better to do.

<Shrug> Best guess.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/3/2016 2:26:09 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

If you relly want to "chat" with a dominant woman, just go to a fucking munch, chatting is what they are for.

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Not your average bimbo.

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RE: Losin what's left - 10/3/2016 7:48:01 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

You're doing a lot of writing about a simple concept.

Dommes are people. So go to where kinky people gather. Some will not be female, some will not be dominant, some will be straight. See which of those will make good friends, and keep looking.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 10