jlf1961
Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
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Or how to handle questions from kids.
As any of us who have spent time around kids know all too well, they are question machines, and some of those questions are extremely hard to answer in an age appropriate manner.
Others are hard to answer with a straight face.
And then there are those that you get hit with that seem to come from somewhere way out past the orbit of Pluto.
So, here are a few of the questions I have been hit with over the last few weeks, and my answers.
1) (The daughter of a friend who repeated the age old question posed to paratroopers) Yeah, why would anyone want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
Answer: Because the people that want to hurt you usually are waiting for the dang thing to land, then they start shooting at it, so why not leave before they start shooting at the plane?
2) Why do you call boats 'she?' (again from a young girl, and no mom did not like the answer)
Because boats, cars, planes, ships are like women, always demanding time, money and always giving you a guy a hard time about something that makes no sense what so ever.
3) Why dont you like going to the doctor?
Answer: Because they have a license to practice medicine, I prefer someone that is through practicing and knows exactly what they are doing.
4) Why is the ocean referred to as a woman? (again from a 10 year old girl)
Answer: The ocean is unpredictable, moody, hard to please, easy to get angry, and you never know what they are going to do next. Kind of like your mom before her coffee first thing in the morning.
The girl had a response:
Have you seen yourself before YOU have had your first cup of coffee in the morning?
My answer: Look I am an grouchy old man who needs to keep his grouchy permit active.
From the munch monster (4 year old great nephew) Why do you snore?
My answer: Because I am not allowed to growl at all the people I want to, so the snoring is all the growls that did not get used during the day.
His response: Is there ever a day you dont want to growl?
Answer: Nope, I am a grouch.
Now, of course there are the ones from adults that are just as good.
Orthopedic Nurse this morning: How are we doing today?
Answer: I dont know about 'we' but if you want to know how I am doing, look at the knee, the one that is black and purple and if you poke it with your finger again, you wont be doing so good either.
_____________________________
Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.
Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI
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Good answers.... - 
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