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RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 1:01:44 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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Fr
Herbal tea and health snacks is like the most unromantic gift ever! Ew!
No wonder she doesn't like it!
I suggest you get to know and find out all her loves and gift her something she might really appreciate.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 3:50:15 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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I've had submissives REQUEST to bring "Tribute"...and sometimes I buy special things for My submissives, for their birthdays, or as a Reward, or sometimes for the mere reason that a particular item strikes Me as suiting them. I don't REQUIRE Tribute, gifts are a voluntary thing. Quite often they are a fun thing between U/us, even silly at times.

If it's not your thing, move on.

(in reply to ilovestarbucks)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 8:39:45 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
Sub, Dom, S/switch or vanilla, yet another clueless male who has to have. every. freaking. thing. spelled. out. for. him. when it comes to social interactions...
on how to act like a gentleman and how to treat a lady by making her feel special, valued and esteemed in your eyes....
In OP's case, any given vanilla man who seeks to please a woman and to attend to her needs is a better submissive than you will ever be -- not with all the so-called "slave training" and "obedience training" in the world.
In fact, why should this Dream Domme fit you into her schedule and invest her time and effort in making your little kink&fetish-filled submission fantasies come true? Instead of somebody more deserving, that is.

Your tutor-mentor consented to train you as a student-protegé of sorts.
(I'll use this terminology, rather than that of beau or boyfriend, since this is a nonsexual arrangement.)
Do you think there is not a queue lined up of guys who would jump at the chance to get private Domme tutoring?
She told you in no uncertain terms what would be satisfactory to her, dudebro, and you have flunked your first lesson.
Even a Kindergartner has enough sense to give his teacher small tokens of affection, and to want to become the Teacher's Pet.

In Slave Training 101, your first class lesson is to learn how to conduct yourself with some class.
No Owner wants to keep property who is (a) a poor reflection upon the Head of Household, or (b) who disgraces himself by being unable to follow simple, not unreasonable, and very doable instructions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta
It sounds like she wants you to bring her a present whenever you see her. Reasonable, we like presents. If you can't be bothered to take 20 minutes out of your week to think about what she might like and get her a present, she's punishing you by imposing a $200 fine.

And honestly, if you can't take that 20 minutes to think about her and what would be a nice present for her out of your entire week, then you're the one treating her like a service provider. And if that's the case she might as well get paid.

OP's douchebag fine should get doubled, to tack on the [Village] Idiot Tax surcharge. :p

He is getting the D/s-BDSM equivalent of getting treated to piano or guitar lessons from a private tutor, or having private one-on-one sessions with a fitness trainer, and yet he balks at giving her thoughtful gifts to show his appreciation? *shaking head repeatedly with facepalms*

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 8:59:36 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline

[/quote]
OP's douchebag fine should get doubled, to tack on the [Village] Idiot Tax surcharge. :p

He is getting the D/s-BDSM equivalent of getting treated to piano or guitar lessons from a private tutor, or having private one-on-one sessions with a fitness trainer, and yet he balks at giving her thoughtful gifts to show his appreciation? *shaking head repeatedly with facepalms*
[/quote]

So if he receives this training of piano lessons, would the next domina be expected to treat him to thoughtful gifts of appreciation after being treated with piano performances?

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:02:49 AM   
WickedsDesire


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Fuk you again Op with the same waffle that I never particularly believe. Is she a beauty to behold or a monstrosity you would not want to meet on a dark night - dont suppose it matters whether a beauty or hideous monstrosity crushes your balls I suppose.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:10:35 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
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WickedsDesire: do you expect gifts from those you train?

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:23:56 AM   
Alecta


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Sex is generally an acceptable gift for male Doms.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:43:56 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge

Distinction without difference.

When I was growing up, we had a word for these kinds of females.



Michael

Well, I call 'em whores... what did you guys used to call them?


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:49:54 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Sex is generally an acceptable gift for male Doms.


That's interesting. Many male doms consider sexual experience to be a facet of the training.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:52:18 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline
Whores implies there is sex or at least bdsm involved. She is expecting gifts for a "relationship" that probably
does not involve either of those....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge

Distinction without difference.

When I was growing up, we had a word for these kinds of females.



Michael

Well, I call 'em whores... what did you guys used to call them?



(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:57:49 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

WickedsDesire: do you expect gifts from those you train?

I once had a guy message me, offering to train me for money, so......

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:00:03 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

WickedsDesire: do you expect gifts from those you train?

I once had a guy message me, offering to train me for money, so......


Did you pay for the training? If so, was the training you received worth it?

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:00:50 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Maybe she wants a relationship that does include sex. By specifying that won't happen, you've taken yourself out of the running to be in a personal relationship with her.
Why does she not get to have sex if that's what she wants? By you giving her a list of what you wanted, you automatically aren't being her pet, her sub, her partner. You reduced this to a pro-domme/client relationship. As such, since you aren't giving her anything she needs, you need to pay for her time.

You set this up, opie. And then you reneged on the deal.

Do you refuse to pay plumbers for their services also, or doctors? Or is it just women you practice your con artistry on?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to heavyblinker)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:16:55 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do you refuse to pay plumbers for their services also, or doctors? Or is it just women you practice your con artistry on?


But he would be the servant in the relationship....why is she recieving services and payments? She would be receiving service and refusing to pay and asking for gifts?

Also "relationship as a sub" is a vague laundry list.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:18:56 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
starbucks, I see that you are only 21. I figured you for a twenty-something, but what I do not understand (in order for me to cut you some slack) is why do you call yourself a maleDOM when you are constantly chasing after Dominant women?
What is up with that? You have started several threads about getting burned, how you have been ripped off, etc.

First of all, you are the one insisting upon needing "slave training," which is what sub-fevered newbies typically want to sign up for.
I personally consider "slave/obedience training" to be a huge farce. This is because I do not believe in the concept of consensual slavery. But, many others do, so I am respectful of their choices.

If you haven't already shot yourself in the foot, did it ever occur to you that the gift selection process is a pivotal homework assignment in the "slave training" of newbie male submissives, one where you will have ongoing opportunities to impress your Domme by showing initiative and creativity, where you can earn extra credit by winning her approval?

Given your youth, if this Domme had said that in order to come party with her, you should bring over a blunt on each occasion, what would be the real issue?
(A) Cannot afford to pay for any stash, e.g. I am a cheap fock.
(B) Cannot afford to share my stash with anybody else, e.g. I am a selfish fock.
(C) I am used to mooching off of others' stash, drinks, food, videogaming & music downloads, wheels, etc., because I am a cheapskate loser.
(D) I have the imagination and gift-giving skills of a gnat, and/or
(E) I am getting an anxiety attack wondering just WhatTF to get a grown woman since I have only hung out with girls my same age, if even that.
(F) D & E
(G) All of the Above
(H) None of the Above, and I have a really believable excuse I can pull out of my arse to justify why I should be exempt from forking over a blunt or a joint to join her party de deux, when every other Domme I've contacted expects me to come up with an ounce's worth just to get my foot in the door.

Obviously, I'm being facetious.

Mcfly, I'm sure you have heard that we teach others how well or how shabbily to treat us, by default of either permitting or refusing to permit ourselves to get taken for granted.
You don't have to be a Dominant female to know this.
This Domme has made it clear what her stipulations are, and she is apparently the one doing the hosting, with OP's meager student budget in mind.
Maybe you don't see it, but she is cutting this newbie a big break, not setting him up as a flunkie.

If OP finds any of her conditions unreasonable, and cannot accept her authority, then he has every right not to consent and be on his merry way. He is not right for her, and she is not right for him.
A hundred, two hundred, three hundred Dommes or Domme-leaning Switches later, I am willing to bet that he won't run across another sweet deal like this, and he'll be kicking himself for the next decade or so.

You can attempt to gender polarize this all you want, but the fact of the matter is that this is a D/s relationship dynamic where OP has agreed to accept her authority as his Mistress in order TO BECOME her slave trainee. How she wants her slaves, slave trainees, subs, subs-under-consideration, and/or primary partner to interact with her is entirely her business. She is the one who is in charge and in control of them, per their mutual agreement.

As for Wicked, he would require you to bake him muffins and scones daily, pick up cat grub and bottles of Chardonnay, be his houseslave/sex slave/muffinBay slave, where he will put you up for bid to sell for cake money when he tires of you.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:19:13 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
Service that isn't the service she wants doesn't count.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:22:19 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MoxieMcfly

Whores implies there is sex or at least bdsm involved. She is expecting gifts for a "relationship" that probably
does not involve either of those....
Whores with extremely stupid Johns.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:23:06 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline
Yes, I have made several post saying that he has the option of not paying and moving on, if he doesn't find the training worth the price she ask for.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:26:19 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Service that isn't the service she wants doesn't count.


Indeed. That is why 200 or a thoughtful gift in exchange for a relationship where he is the sub is an incredibly vague agreement.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:56:27 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MoxieMcfly
Indeed. That is why 200 or a thoughtful gift in exchange for a relationship where he is the sub is an incredibly vague agreement.


Bringing a gift for your Mistress is not an exchange any more than your husband gives you sex in exchange for making him dinner.
She is not becoming his Mistress on the condition of the gift or money, he is expected to bring her gifts because she is his Mistress. Expecting an open ended "gift" is a poor way to run a business, by the way. If she would only be his Mistress on the condition of the gift, you can be sure she would have specified clearly what sort of things were and were not acceptable. That she hasn't tells me she wants him to put in the effort to find her relevant and pleasing presents, not just go to the store and pick up her groceries or give her money to spend wherever.


(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 60
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