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My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 10/31/2016 8:35:31 PM

Littleoneulove

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Joined: 9/25/2016
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I am a novice sub, in a d/s fulltime relationship with a poly Dom. Ive known my Dom going on 12 years. We have been friends and lovers the entire time. My venture into bdsm diidnt begin until 2013. I can not say it has been easy. Bdsm is not a hobby. Its not something you can turn off. Once it has you, you are never the same. Learning a poly Dom is excactly the same. Last night was the first time we played with a third together. We didnt go full on into sex with her. We all felt each other out, laughed, flirted and of course I began my seduction. I really felt amazing. Weird because having vanilla threesomes and sharing what we did lastnight are nothing alike. This was way better. He was on fire last night. ive never experienced him this way. Ill admit it was painfull for me to realize how much of him i had been missing out on. The really painful part was iit was painful for him to know it hurt me alil. I was not as jealous as I thought Inwould be. There was slight insecurity, with the newness of sharing him and sharing myself with someone else in front of him. Just a little. Im okay with everything. Now that I know how much a third really brings to the mix, how much he came alive. I know there is no going bAck. It is painful. I expected insecurity, maybe even jealousy, but sorrow was unexpected. I feel a very real sorrow because I know that what I thought was wonderful, wasnt for him. I dont know if I am being childish or really how to come to terms with it.

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RE: My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 10/31/2016 10:23:54 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

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Ok? Was there a discussion here? Are we having sharing time? I'm confused.

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RE: My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 10/31/2016 10:40:59 PM

DaddySatyr

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Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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Let me say from the outset: If I slip up and sound like I've elected myself "Spokesman for Polyamory International", I apologize. I know I am only speaking for myself.

First off, it is terrific that you weren't as possessive as you thought you'd be. That is a huge thing in this particular lifestyle.

I want to concentrate, though on something you said about your guy:

"He was on fire last night. ive never experienced him this way. Ill admit it was painfull for me to realize how much of him i had been missing out on."

Again, I'm only speaking for myself, here.

For me, it is a relief, when I realize that I've not inadvertently damaged a young lady because she wasn't completely honest with me. Many is the times I've heard: "Well, I don't know how I'd react when ..." when, in reality, she DOES know how she's going to react, she's just hoping that:

A) I'll change
2) The "moment of truth" won't come for quite some time (and then, see "A").

I'd be willing to bet a dollar to a doughnut that what you saw was his ability to finally "exhale" a little bit and not feel like he had to walk on eggshells, anymore.

Kudos and good luck to you, young lady!

Michael

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RE: My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 11/1/2016 6:36:13 AM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

Ok? Was there a discussion here? Are we having sharing time? I'm confused.

I think we're all supposed to swoon because she has such a wonderful Dom. Or, it's just another thinly veiled ad for a unicorn.

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RE: My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 11/1/2016 6:56:06 AM

Lucylastic

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quote:

but sorrow was unexpected. I feel a very real sorrow because I know that what I thought was wonderful, wasnt for him. I dont know if I am being childish or really how to come to terms with it.

If you can live with the fact that you cant be his "everything" the sorrow will change to "make the best of it" and be happy or move on if you need to feel you are someone elses "everything"

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RE: My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 11/1/2016 7:19:29 AM

DarkSteven

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It sounds to me like that experience set off a lot of feelings within you. I suggest writing down your thoughts asap and discuss them with your Dom.

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RE: My thoughts on my Poly Dom - 11/1/2016 8:30:54 AM

angelikaJ

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Some people really get off on "new relationship energy" so part of what you were observing may have been that.
Also, has it occurred to you that part of what made him come alive was that you were willing to take the risk of a third with him?

Your feelings are your feelings; neither good nor bad.

Write about them now and later as they evolve.

(((hugs for your sadness))) but I think it is possible that it may have still wonderful for him before, just in a different way than it was for you.

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