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About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 9:38:15 AM

SubManService

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Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Basically I am curious to know is cuckolding something that can start immediately or do you feel it is something that should be worked up to once enough trust and experience has been gained?

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 1:29:26 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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Depends on you and your partner I guess.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 2:57:07 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubManService

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Basically I am curious to know is cuckolding something that can start immediately or do you feel it is something that should be worked up to once enough trust and experience has been gained?

Could the buzz that you're both after even exist until you'd both developed a relationship? That's what I always wonder about the cuckolding thing.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 7:28:18 PM

MoxieMcfly

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I don't know. To me, cuckolding has always come across as a cross between a kinky Mono-Poly relationship with a Fetish for the friend zone.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 7:56:37 PM

Alecta

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Depends on what you want to get out of it. There are 3 major "types" of cuckolding:
the simple voyeuristic -- you just want to watch a woman have sex and not be able to do anything to her
the esmasculation -- your kick comes from the humiliation of having a more "manly" man you could never match up to emphasize "not enough a man" you are
the cuckolding -- if anyone has a better word, feel free. This is the one where the woman who would be expected to have sex with you exclusively, whom you you are loyal to in all aspects, openly "cheats" on you.

The first and second can start immediately if all parties are comfortable with each other, though establishing that comfort level to play varies from person to person.

The third takes time. For the purpose of this paragraph, "cuckolding" refers only to the 3rd type. A relationship needs to be built and established in order for the cuckolding to happen, by definition. If you're just a stranger she isn't having sex with, no cuckolding is happening. If you're just a slave she's not having sex with, no cuckolding is happening. If you just see her once a week to participate in her sex with someone else, no cuckolding is happening. It is still cuckolding even if she continues to have sex with you (when not cuckolding you). Some people think the thrill in this type of cuckolding is greater if you start with a "equal" relationship, dating, etc and having sex with each other, then taking the sex away to give to the bull.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 8:02:55 PM

MoxieMcfly

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Do you think this is the case when he is completely loyal and in love with her, but not the opposite? Is it cuckolding when there is unrequited love?

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 8:04:47 PM

Alecta

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No. Since no expectation that she should have sex with him exists in the dynamic. That's just unrequited love.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 8:09:50 PM

MoxieMcfly

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That makes sense. I have been told that I wouldn't be a good match by people who said "I refused to be cuckolded" but when I tried to explain why it wasn't, they refused to understand...

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 8:12:59 PM

Alecta

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Did you mean "I" as in you or "I" as in the people refusing you?

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 8:16:47 PM

MoxieMcfly

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People have told me that they refused to be cuckolded by me, but I have tried to explain why even though we were not a match, it wasn't cuckolding. (because there would be no expectation that I would be sexual with them, as you said)

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/1/2016 9:42:15 PM

Alecta

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It only means then that they expected to be sexually exclusive with you, no matter what they say about "no sex" lol

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/2/2016 6:52:33 PM

MoxieMcfly

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Weird. I don't know why they would expect sexual exclusivity, event though I made it clear I would be sleeping with other people instead of them. Oh well, it doesn't matter.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/4/2016 3:41:13 PM

SnowRanger

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Hello A/all.

To the OP: I think that a cuckolding relationship can begins in as many way as there are relationships.

To Ms. Moxie, I would suggest that if she demands exclusivity of one man, she could call it cuckolding.
If she demands exclusivity of two or more she could call it Polyandry. OR...

Continue as she is seems to be doing, After all, what's in a label?

Respectfully,
Mike
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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/9/2016 8:57:43 PM

chastencucked

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To me, cuckolding is a bittersweet surrender of one's own very personal self to a woman who means the world to the beloved. He would do anything (within reason) to please her and for her to be satisfied. To me, he dreams of her happiness while he is locked in strict chastity, denied any release except for health reasons, and even then not for his own pleasure; all things are for HER pleasure. (I will not mention teasing here but that is a very worthy topic of discussion.) He must always be focusing on this and therefore NOT be allowed orgasms, lest he become complacent in servitude to Mistress. This is my opinion FWIW.

The relationship between them must be very deep and personal. This cannot occur on a casual basis, build the foundation of the relationship first. Get to know each other on many levels before entering into a commitment.

Best wishes to everybody here!

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/10/2016 7:17:54 PM

DesFIP

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They're allowed to explain that if you want to be in a relationship with them, there must be sexual exclusivity. And that if you don't agree, then you don't get to have a relationship with them.

You both get to insist on having your must haves list met, and none of your deal breakers.

The question is why do you insist on only chasing people who have been clear that they're not interested in what you want.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/11/2016 11:52:28 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubManService

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Basically I am curious to know is cuckolding something that can start immediately or do you feel it is something that should be worked up to once enough trust and experience has been gained?

I would have no desire to cuckold a stranger. Period.

It's about intimacy and love.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/12/2016 7:27:10 PM

seekingreality

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MoxieMcfly

That makes sense. I have been told that I wouldn't be a good match by people who said "I refused to be cuckolded" but when I tried to explain why it wasn't, they refused to understand...

I think it's silly to get worked up about labels.

Ultimately, it comes down to, "I want/like X Y and Z -- our my needs/wants compatible with yours"?

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RE: About Cuckolding - 11/13/2016 10:28:05 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubManService

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Basically I am curious to know is cuckolding something that can start immediately or do you feel it is something that should be worked up to once enough trust and experience has been gained?

I would have no desire to cuckold a stranger. Period.

It's about intimacy and love.

^^ Exactly this. Without a relationship as a solid foundation cuckolding just doesn't work for me. It isn't something I do casually. Cuckolding done casually is simply just voyuerism YMMV.

That said, there is a wide spectrum in regard to cuckolding. The most important being how the two people involved define it for their relationship.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 12/2/2016 9:34:31 AM

longwayhome

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubManService

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Basically I am curious to know is cuckolding something that can start immediately or do you feel it is something that should be worked up to once enough trust and experience has been gained?

I would have no desire to cuckold a stranger. Period.

It's about intimacy and love.

Absolutely.

There has to be a relationship (however you specify that) for cuckolding to be meaningful. Otherwise it's just a threesome (or moresome), perhaps with a bit of power imbalance, which is great of course if that's what you want. Cuckolding's neither just an enhanced form of shagging with extras nor just a way of demonstrating power (although it can involve those things). It's a complex web built carefully with all sorts of desire, respect, bitter-sweetness and care.

In terms of "starting immediately", I'm not sure it is something that even springs to mind at an early stage because something has to be there to be grown, developed, changed and perverted.

You can know that you are open to being in relationship which involves cuckolding, but I'm not sure how you can be truly cuckolded by someone who you don't really know and who doesn't know you.

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RE: About Cuckolding - 12/6/2016 2:45:40 PM

makemeyours34

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well, in the real world, try to date women who have cheated on every boyfriend, then work up to this if she goes along ... the wild women usually want a nice guy to marry for financial and family reasons. date normal women who cheat, and if you are nice enough to them, she probably won't leave you for the other guy, and thus happily ever after. don't try this with gals above your league, the usual dilemma. have had a 20 year theoretical cuckolding friendship with an ex crack dancer in college as students, very hot lawyer now, very wealthy, single daughter of wealthy parents, she got married and divorced, but she has given me no play for almost 18 years though i fly hundred of miles to see her once or twice a year. she is nice enough to have me around ... lifetime of self inflicted torture, and depression, though am quite tough shell to crack now.

now am wealthier than her parents, so have more credibility with her now.

now she is 42, constant botox injections, young 20's bodybuilder boyfriend. she might have married me now, as i am wealthy now, and i have lasted 20 years thru ups and downs longing in misery for her ... was it worth it ? well, don't let your insides be tortured, leave torture to outsides and mildly insides only.

happy landings. don't implode. i really went thru mind numbing mental tortures at theoretical losing her. but we still interact though she calls me wierd. has and her platonic gal pal invited to nyc, covered airfare, nice times square hotel, but she flipped out after 1-2 days, and totally avoided me, and got her photo clicked licking naked cowboy's nipple ? so be nice to yourself and enjoy too is my experienced advice. absolutely do not torture your insides too much, do it for physical arousal instead ...

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