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RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/5/2016 1:36:01 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissShey


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissShey

No mention of already being in a relationship in her profile...


Does that change the advice we that ought to be given somehow?

No?

Then why does it matter?


Only in that her (new) profile says she's looking for a relationship, whilst her post says she's been in a relationship for six months and is trying to preserve it. So perhaps she is being less than honest in one respect or another.


Yes, maybe she is being less than honest in one respect or another.

Again: would that change the advice that ought to be given to the question asked in the OP?

No?

Then why does it matter if she might be being less than honest?

Lets say she's in a relationship already, and secretly has a profile on here behind her Dom's back, does that change the advice she needs to hear in relation to her question?
Lets say that she doesn't have a relationship at all, and the situation in the OP is a hypothetical she made up, does that change the answer to the question?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MissShey)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/8/2016 12:01:09 PM   
Einder


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/29/2010
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Though I realize the OP has already made the decision, from a Dom/Master point of view, I don't see abandonment as ever being an option. If a Dom/Master threatens abandonment for anything, leave and/or let them walk. They've obviously already decided they don't want to be in the relationship anymore if it's come to that.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/8/2016 12:36:48 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14415
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Einder

They've obviously already decided they don't want to be in the relationship anymore if it's come to that.


I disagree with that. An ultimatum is usually a form of emotional blackmail, using the expectation that the fear of being abandoned will over ride the objection. Essentially, a twisting of the arm.

When giving an ultimatum, the issuer should be ready to accept either answer, when in reality, the issuer is usually expecting only capitulation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Einder)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/8/2016 5:49:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Never pay blackmail. Whatever goes down, you'll still have self respect. Which you won't if you give in.
And that matters enormously.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/10/2016 7:43:10 PM   
Yourfutureslaves


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/21/2016
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Yes apologies for any confusion caused the profile was changed after my decision was made! Was just seeking others thoughts and reassurance i guess that i wasnt being unreasonable!!! No dishonesty that would be a pointless thing to do lol! I really appreciate everyone's opinions and feedback except the negativity of course!! Thanks guys x

(in reply to Danemora)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/11/2016 2:03:31 AM   
Yourfutureslaves


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/21/2016
Status: offline
Apologies for the confusion regarding my post! The post was made aftet the new profile, i guess i had already decided that to end the relationship was the right thing to do and was simply seeking others thoughts and perhaps reassurance! No dishonesty involved! That would be pointless and silly lol!!! Thank you for your feedback guys well the non negative stuff anyway! X It was definitely the right thing to do to walk away!! X

(in reply to Danemora)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 11/16/2016 2:46:31 PM   
HereAndWhere


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/8/2016
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I see that I'm >very< late to this tea party, with so many excellent responses but I want to chime in all the same.

This is an excellent *cautionary* tale of what NOTto do. Rather, the OP took the >correct< action of stepping away. The NOT to do here is for the "Dom" in question. That's a considerable, outrageous demand to make of anyone, especially after such a brief period of time. As stated, if this were an interest, an objective, perhaps. Always presuming these are real people, real situations, and not "Letters to Forum"., there was a fundamental disconnect between these two individuals.

If we can accept that this was an "expectation" of the "Dom", it probbly should have been communicated as such. It reads more like a "I'm done with you; let me create a scenario to help you on your way".

(in reply to Danemora)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 1/1/2017 8:19:52 PM   
ManOeuvre


Posts: 277
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yourfutureslaves

So i was with my Dom for 6 months and he was and everything i have ever wanted controlled and used me made me feel like i needef to!!! Then he tells me that he wants me to get my vagina peirced several times and padlocked bearing in mind this is after knowin him for 6 months and anything like that just aint my thing anyway however its not about what i like its all about Pleasing him BUT i just cant do this gor him and i feel like a failure had he asked me 2 years into the relationship then yes! But after only 6 months i really dont want to be disfigured in this way! He has told me its over if i don't do it!! All i want is to please him but he's not getting that i don't want this yet!!! Thoughts please am i being a selfish whatsit?????


You need to be careful. Very very careful. You may not even realize it's happening until it's too late!

Of course, I'm referring to run-on sentences.

(in reply to Yourfutureslaves)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 1/2/2017 8:13:38 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissShey


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissShey

No mention of already being in a relationship in her profile...


Does that change the advice we that ought to be given somehow?

No?

Then why does it matter?


Only in that her (new) profile says she's looking for a relationship, whilst her post says she's been in a relationship for six months and is trying to preserve it. So perhaps she is being less than honest in one respect or another.

Still don't see how that is relevant.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to MissShey)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Am i being unreasonable? - 1/2/2017 1:36:05 PM   
SexyBlackMan2


Posts: 108
Status: offline
trust your judgment. You were enamored by this person and the excitement took over. But, if it's meant to be, you would not be struggling with this. If he is threatening you, that should be insight into this person's character and temperament. Fortunate that you found this out early one.

(in reply to Yourfutureslaves)
Profile   Post #: 30
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