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Taramafor -> RE: some advice on being a dom (12/25/2016 2:47:55 AM)
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Ok, so basically you're wondering how to go about being the dom you're not yet sure you want to be. I'm sub now but was once dom.
First thing's first. Be you. Not who you want to be but just you. Which is probably someone struggling with adapting to being dom. That's ok, we'll work on that.
Now... how do you want to go about being dom? Do you need someone to interact with before knowing first? Or do you have a certain "style" of going about it that you would like to try? Pet play perhaps? Forced interactions? Willing obedience alone?
Ask yourself these kind of questions. And maybe get others to ask them too. Make a game of it perhaps. Take turns asking each other. Maybe hop on Second Life and click on the truth ball at PAC (it covers a lot of BDSM related things). Keep asking yourself these questions and find out the dom you want to be. Because only you have the answers. No one else.
Btw, I avoid group interactions myself. Nothing to do with fear or shyness either. Before even considering anything like a munch or anything I'd need to have at least talked to someone that would be heading there so we can make 1 on 1 time. I please people that take an interest, not strangers that might not be interested.
You don't so much as "learn" about being dom/sub as much as "adapt" to being it. It's just something you get used to the more you do it. Like anything else we pick up on. Naturally things like health and safety and danger and facing such dangers willing to be faced and consent and the lack of it (I myself do no consent due to "full trust") are all things to keep in mind in the area. I suppose that could be teaching as such. But beyond that it's about how you go about things yourself with who you're around and interacting with. That reminds me, you might hear a lot about how things "should" be done. And people may assume much because of a lack of understanding about the way you might choose to dom. Go about it your way, not the way others tell you too.
If you're interested in more "dangerous" things or sadist/masochist things and such then obviously check for advice from those areas. It's not just a dom thing. It's being aware of multiple other things as well. Which tie into dom and sub alike. Feel free to address such concerns in this thread since you're trying to figure out how you dom. it might be something you want to be a part of dom.
Oh, and as the above poster mentioned, treat people like people. Because that's what we are. Even if some people enjoy one night on a BDSM dungeon. I'm more lifestyle myself. That's not a "start with play and move up to there" thing. That's a "I'm lifestyle only" thing. You don't "advance in class" with this. You find what works for you. Some people like hookups at bars. Others like intimate, close company alone. Take vanilla logic and put it into BDSM. Presto, it suddenly makes more sense.
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