Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/27/2016 9:16:49 PM

rubberloverhk

Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline

Many "Mistresses" are asking for money or tributes directly or indirectly.

I've met a couple of "Mistresses" online and we met. The one that impressed me most is a fat Mistress. We texted a lot on whatsapp before we finally met
for the first time. She always emphasized that she was really interested in
chastity devices and orgasm denial, and not asking for money or tributes.
However, I have to be responsible for basic meals, drinks, and other
entertainment costs like watching movie.

The second time we met, she requested me to be in a particular cheap cafe for lunch. When I came on time, she had finished her meal, she just wanted me to pay for the meal, which was approx. USD 30, only for herself. (at that restaurant it's normally USD 6 per person) The worst thing was - 50% of the food was wasted.

In less than half an hour after her full meal, she then had the most expensive ice-cream here, USD 15.

Afterwards, I was taken to the cinema for watching movie. She requested me to buy pop corns and drinks. The bottle of drink was sold at USD 4 inside the gate while the same drink was sold at USD 1 elsewhere. She even needed me to buy 4 spare bottles of it for her later "use".

She knew I would not buy her a diamond or LV bag. She then took me to many different shops, buying different "small" things that are NOT expensive without actually thinking. She said it
was cheap so it's reasonable for me to pay.

I have stated a lot of number above and I know some of you might only criticize me saying that I just care about those fxxking little money, which is a loser.

However, in less than 2 hours of time, I did spend a total of USD 500 just paying for her meals, shopping with her for endless "small" things. On top of that, her attitude to me was bad and hateful, at the end of the day, I told her we would never meet again.

can you try to imagine from my side??

It was like she was just knowing that I will never give her cash check or buy her expensive gifts (that we have both agreed before we chatted any further) and she was showing her
dissatisfaction and taking revenge in an indirect way, by wasting food and buying unnecessary small things, while taking advantage in that way.

I was NEVER someone "sticky" to her or showing to her that I needed a Mistress so much. It was just because we happened to know on the local BDSM forum that we live so close to each other and she had the same "interest" as me.

Are there actually women who really love to be dominant and do kinky things?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/27/2016 9:32:59 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Yes, there are.

Next time you ask a question, it is entirely acceptable to do it briefly.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to rubberloverhk)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 1:30:23 AM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

Sounds like she was working hard on humiliating you.
Most boys don't realise that humiliation is... humiliating. That being dominated means... being dominated. Then they go home with their knickers in a twist and complain about having met a "scam artist" because they didn't get their kinks and dicks serviced as they would have liked.

Take a moment to think.
What was the value of any of those things that she "got" from you? Did she really need or want all those "little things" that are too worthless to even exchange? Is it possible the whole point of exercises like these is to forcibly waste your money. Some people get off on it, some people get off on having their money wasted. And sometimes it could just be to teach you a lesson. Maybe she was hateful towards you because she just doesn't like you! Have you given any serious thought as to how you might have offended her to deserve treatment like that?
Or did you just think "hey you live close by and you have interests in the same thing I do, so you must want to do it to me" and then proceed to treat her like a cheap whore?

< Message edited by Alecta -- 11/28/2016 1:40:34 AM >

(in reply to rubberloverhk)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 8:50:29 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

English much?

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 11:23:27 AM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

English much?

Yeah well you see, this may surprise you, you being American and all, but you will encounter that on an international site now and then.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 11:43:43 AM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline

Since the OP is in Honk Kong I would assume his English is not as fluent as a person from the US. English is not everyone’s first language.

To the OP:
My best suggestion for you is to go to live BDSM events and try to meet a Domme in person. Many places hold monthly gatherings as a lunch, dinner or just a monthly social event. Seek those events out and meet those people in person. This will cost you no money other than transportation to get there and whatever you eat/drink. Go there with the intention of meeting people in the lifestyle versus finding your Domme. Talking with people in the lifestyle will help you on your search.

When you meet a Domme, talk about your wants and desires and see how that fits in for what she is looking for. Ask the Domme what she is seeking from a sub/slave. Is that inline with your vision? If not, respectfully tell that to the Domme she is not the one for you and continue your search. If your interests are aligned then more detailed negotiations would be in order at this point.

Avoid anyone asking for money up front. Anyone asking for money before you even meet is a waste of your time. It is okay to pay for someone’s meal if meeting for lunch or dinner. But limit the spending to just the meal. If at anytime you think the Domme is just using you for a free meal, you can say your interests are not the same and pay for the meal at that point and be done.

Be prepared to travel a little. Assuming from your name you are looking for a Domme who enjoys rubber like you. In the USA those Dommes tend to be rare. I am not sure of the Hong Kong scene. I know Germany and England, rubber is much more common among Dommes. For me I still have yet to meet a local Domme who enjoys rubber. So I travel about 2 to 3 hours (or even further) for monthly social events where I know.

What you are looking for will not happen overnight, so be patient but persistent. Ask a lot of questions. Be honest and humble. Good luck in your search!

_____________________________

Master of the Mystic Arts
Proprieter Verließ Von Strange
Rubber Fetishist
SciFi Fanatic

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 11:59:16 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

English much?

Exactly how many languages do you speak fluently?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 4:26:50 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk
Are there actually women who really love to be dominant and do kinky things?

Yes. But listen. Hong Kong Princess Syndrome is real. Just because a woman is self-absorbed and bratty does not mean that she is dominant in a way that is compatible with your wants and needs.

Try to find someone who likes you as a person first, and who is open to exploring sexually. Instead of trying to find someone who has kinks you like first, and then hoping she will treat you well.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to rubberloverhk)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/28/2016 4:37:02 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

English much?

Considering the OP is from Hong Kong....you're out of line.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/29/2016 12:26:43 AM

rubberloverhk

Posts: 21
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Hong Kong
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

Since the OP is in Honk Kong I would assume his English is not as fluent as a person from the US. English is not everyone’s first language.

To the OP:
My best suggestion for you is to go to live BDSM events and try to meet a Domme in person. Many places hold monthly gatherings as a lunch, dinner or just a monthly social event. Seek those events out and meet those people in person. This will cost you no money other than transportation to get there and whatever you eat/drink. Go there with the intention of meeting people in the lifestyle versus finding your Domme. Talking with people in the lifestyle will help you on your search.

When you meet a Domme, talk about your wants and desires and see how that fits in for what she is looking for. Ask the Domme what she is seeking from a sub/slave. Is that inline with your vision? If not, respectfully tell that to the Domme she is not the one for you and continue your search. If your interests are aligned then more detailed negotiations would be in order at this point.

Avoid anyone asking for money up front. Anyone asking for money before you even meet is a waste of your time. It is okay to pay for someone’s meal if meeting for lunch or dinner. But limit the spending to just the meal. If at anytime you think the Domme is just using you for a free meal, you can say your interests are not the same and pay for the meal at that point and be done.

Be prepared to travel a little. Assuming from your name you are looking for a Domme who enjoys rubber like you. In the USA those Dommes tend to be rare. I am not sure of the Hong Kong scene. I know Germany and England, rubber is much more common among Dommes. For me I still have yet to meet a local Domme who enjoys rubber. So I travel about 2 to 3 hours (or even further) for monthly social events where I know.

What you are looking for will not happen overnight, so be patient but persistent. Ask a lot of questions. Be honest and humble. Good luck in your search!

Thanks for your reply and the great advice

Yes, internet search is not a good way of finding the right woman.

I attended some local events which were only about pure chat and drinks but it did not even attract one girl to come, and the guys were just looking at each other and speechless, which was so silly, and the host was not experienced at handling the atmosphere and initiating discussion, most guys left early, hahhahaha

The best bet is to find a right woman and to develop a vanilla relationship first and then slowly step up

quote:

Yes. But listen. Hong Kong Princess Syndrome is real. Just because a woman is self-absorbed and bratty does not mean that she is dominant in a way that is compatible with your wants and needs.

Try to find someone who likes you as a person first, and who is open to exploring sexually. Instead of trying to find someone who has kinks you like first, and then hoping she will treat you well.

Great, you know about Hong Kong Princess Syndrome. But what you may not know is, it mostly only happens to ugly local women here. Beautiful Hong Kong girls tend to be more nice but close-minded.

< Message edited by rubberloverhk -- 11/29/2016 12:27:04 AM >

(in reply to DocStrange)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 11/29/2016 8:17:53 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

English much?

Remember that 'foot in mouth' thing that I've, several times now, gotten on your case for?

You're doing it again.

You really ought to learn to think before posting.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Do you really love to be dominant and do kinky things - 12/3/2016 10:04:27 AM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberloverhk

Thanks for your reply and the great advice

Yes, internet search is not a good way of finding the right woman.

I attended some local events which were only about pure chat and drinks but it did not even attract one girl to come, and the guys were just looking at each other and speechless, which was so silly, and the host was not experienced at handling the atmosphere and initiating discussion, most guys left early, hahhahaha

The best bet is to find a right woman and to develop a vanilla relationship first and then slowly step up

I would still encourage you to go to events and make friends. If you go expecting a Domme to approach you, that generally will not happen. You need to take the initiative and start up conversations with the Dommes. A polite "hello" and who you are. Ask the Domme to talk a little bit of about herself. Start off your conversations as if on a vanilla date. Talk about small things. Where you are from, what are some of your hobby/interests. Ask the Domme about where she is from. What are her hobbies and interests. Looks for and expand on things you both have in common.

So many people go to these events expecting to pick up a Domme the first night. Some how in this digital age many have forgotten or never learned the art of courtship. Most women/Dommes like to be courted.

The majority of people I play with I have been introduced from other friends I have made at events. The power of networking and flirting should not underestimated.

_____________________________

Master of the Mystic Arts
Proprieter Verließ Von Strange
Rubber Fetishist
SciFi Fanatic

(in reply to rubberloverhk)

Profile

Post #: 12