LadyConstanze
Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote:
ORIGINAL: spideycool69 P.S This happened on another site. I chose to write it here instead because i don't want her seeing this. If you felt you had to "hide" it, there is something wrong. I am of the opinion that, if I am in charge of a dynamic, there is a reason for that. If, voluntarily, you have entered this thing where I am the decision maker, you have given me said authority. That's my job. Your job is to follow said authority, until such time that you want out from under my authority. If you are doing underhanded shit, the dynamic, in a sense, is over. If you are lying, manipulating, making excuses for your behavior, rather than actually submitting to the other person, you have chosen this. You have taken your own authority back and your actions are SHOWING the other person that they don't have the power in the dynamic, anymore. Personally, I would tell you, if you want that other stuff, go have it. I am not willing to sign up to go along for the ride. This pretty much. Personally I wouldn't have a problem with somebody talking to others, provided it's within the bounds that we agreed in (so in short if you're shopping for something else, we're not well suited and best part ways, I don't like to be a place holder), maybe a good way to approach it is to ask her if you can just communicate with others as she might not always have time and you have a lot of questions. At the end of the day, it's your dynamic, talk to her about it. As I said, I'm not into micro-managing somebody, I prefer adults I can trust, if I'd feel I can't trust you to talk to other people, you just wouldn't be in any kind of relationship with me. But then again, that is how *I* handle things, your relationship might be completely different.
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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary Those who do and those who don't! http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html
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