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From zero to sixty - 12/15/2016 1:13:05 PM

Massage911

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Joined: 12/15/2016
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Ok so first I appreciate any input I receive. As I am fairly new to admitting my desires to be conntrolled on many different levels how do I find some one that understands this and doesn't expect everything all at once.i know it's a process that I feel if done correctly will lead me to be open to even more

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/15/2016 1:48:31 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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Time and patience. It would also likely be useful for you to do some of your looking offline.

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/15/2016 2:16:07 PM

Massage911

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Thank you it's been my offline looking that has led me on line
Don't want pro but also don't want someone new to this either

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/15/2016 2:30:46 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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OK, well that kinda blows my advice out of the water. I guess there is just time and patience.

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/16/2016 7:33:13 AM

WindAndSky

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I wouldn't discount new people. There's something just lovely about growing into it and learning together. Plus, they may come with fewer preconceived notions, and be more interested in exploring things with you.

You don't say whether you're looking for a relationship, or for play. But either way, the advice is about the same. Treat the objects of your interest as people first, dommes and subs second. Get to know them, as you would a new friend. Let some trust and affection build.

Hit some events in real life. Volunteer in some capacity, show that you're invested in being there and being helpful. And not just play parties, go to the munches too and talk to people, so they can see that you're not just looking to get your rocks off, you're hoping to learn by talking as well as doing, and make real connections that go beyond play.

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/16/2016 8:13:34 AM

Alecta

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It helps to actually be able to articulate what you want. Also consider what it is you can offer experienced people. Why would they want to play with you and not someone who is experienced and on their own level?

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/22/2016 10:24:31 AM

DocStrange

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Massage911

Ok so first I appreciate any input I receive. As I am fairly new to admitting my desires to be controlled on many different levels how do I find some one that understands this and doesn't expect everything all at once.i know it's a process that I feel if done correctly will lead me to be open to even more

Many Dommes enjoy teaching new people. So that should not be a barrier.

You say you want to be controlled on many levels but your profile lists you as a switch. So there is a conflict there. Do you want to be controlled? Do you want to switch? And there is very little information in your profile. So I would start be revamping your profile and state you are new to this and want to explore. You might elaborate on why this interests you?

Communication is very important. Being able to express your desires/wants verbally and/or via written word is crucial. It is okay to say you do not know. I know that it took some time for me to be able to say what I wanted and why I wanted things.

I highly recommend going to local gatherings. From your profile location there are many monthly munches/lunches close to you. Go with the intend of meeting people and talking with people and not picking up anyone. Talking about your interests and talking with others how they first go into the BDSM scene will help you.

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RE: From zero to sixty - 12/26/2016 4:20:38 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

your profile lists you as a switch.

So there is a conflict there. Do you want to be controlled? Do you want to switch? And there is very little information in your profile.

I recommend you listen to DocStrange.

Most online Dommes turn off immediately when they see .... Switch ...

I have heard some Dommes describe switches as "rabid dogs"

And meeting Dommes is the same as vanilla dating, no difference ... its just that later on, the sex and lovemaking are a little different.

So You go some work to do on your profile ... and if you are sincere, go to local gatherings.

good luck

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