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afeathr -> RE: Need Input From subs... (7/25/2006 3:41:28 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HerTexasBoss
I have had SEVERAL extensive discussions with her. She said that at first she equated what I did to her at "abuse"....and she struggled with it because she liked it. I told her there was a DISTINCT difference between physical "lifestyle" abuse and D/s sexual encounters. She told me she understood and that my explanation made sense. Do you have any good books that you could recommend....or good websites for a sub to learn from? Thanks.
I have gone through similar feelings myself, and have found that it doesn't matter how much I talk about it, it's all about *me* knowing what is good for me, and what's not good for me. It might help her to interact with other subs, online or in person, and to be able to discuss her feelings with them. I am sure, as it was with me, that it's hard for her to come to grips with the dichotomy of what she desires and what society has said is *normal*. In my opinion, this is something that takes time and the input of others to understand and rationalize.
I am a rational and intelligent woman, and it took me a while to come to grips with what I am... however, now when I am approached about being a "sub" I am good with it, and have gone up against some really ugly people about it. I am not ashamed anymore... and though I know I should never have been, I was... But now, I can hold my head higher than most people and say that I have found who and what I am, and I am not ashamed of it one bit. That's more than most people can say... <smiles>
Personally, it sounds as though she just needs others to tell her what many of us have already found out...
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