RE: Romance is Dead

RE: Romance is Dead (Full Version)

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Real0ne -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 3:42:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyBlackMan2 I actually disagree with that. It's no different that in the vanilla world when you look at someone and say "how could this person end up with that person?". I find that in true BDSM, there is romance. A good Master or Dominant has to take care of his slave or submissive. Otherwise, it's abuse. Similar to the vanilla world when you ask why can't this person get out of a toxic situation, some use BDSM to cover for all sorts of issues and aberrations there could be. That would be another avenue to explore. MaleD/s v FemaleD/s I am the s part of Female D/s and I am taking this from especially first contact forward, not so much way down thlong term 2+ years well established relationships. Things tend to level out more after that point. I have run across Dommes that simply look at a bday present as property acquisition and they cant wait to get on ebay to look up a good selling price to dump it even though only weeks before they talked about how awesome it would be to have one....., and supposedly these are not pro dommes but genuine LS dommes.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 3:46:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub22 Romance is NOT dead - at least for me. My sweetie bought a kettle and my brand of tea for his apartment when he was romancing me. If that isn't romance, I don't know what is. Ditto. When he was romancing me, my husband would make sure that there was Brie or Camembert in the house, that was acquired early enough, and had been sitting out on the top of the fridge long enough, so that it was perfectly ripe when I was over at his place.

Real0ne -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 3:53:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression? Yes, hmm. I know what you mean. All I really know is that I cannot go in that direction. I've tried 'kink-without-connection' many times ... and it just doesn't damned well do it for me. If anything, it actually helps kill what kink I have, to be honest. I've actually come to envy those blokes who can go to a BDSM venue and go home sated after having their hides ripped into spaghetti by a woman they don't know and don't care about. I know one or two - their lives are so straightforward. Grrr. But I'm less enamoured of the idea of romance than I used to be. The best relationships I've had have been more 'When Harry met Sally' than 'Romeo and Juliet'. That is - a friendship first; albeit one where you fancy the others body. Kink comes second. Well, actually, for me - it might not come at all. I've come to realise it's really just ten percent of the whole package, at most. I do not want to go 'Dom' again - been there, done it too many times. (Hah - I know a lot about very pushy femsubs who are determined that I should 'know my place' as Master.) But I don't think I really need to be a sub. Not any more. Nice, but not mandatory. Yeh [:D] If you want to see real 2016 romance type the word 'application' and do a search. As far as many of them they are concerned you are applying for a job ffs. Doesnt that make you all feel warm and cozy?

Real0ne -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 3:58:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub22 Romance is NOT dead - at least for me. My sweetie bought a kettle and my brand of tea for his apartment when he was romancing me. If that isn't romance, I don't know what is. Ditto. When he was romancing me, my husband would make sure that there was Brie or Camembert in the house, that was acquired early enough, and had been sitting out on the top of the fridge long enough, so that it was perfectly ripe when I was over at his place. Did you meet in bdsm venue? Married couples, many of them has pre-established romance models that carried over and I expect have a much higher success rate than those of us who are single and trying to get something with substance going.

PeonForHer -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 4:32:50 PM)
quote: If you want to see real 2016 romance type the word 'application' and do a search. As far as many of them they are concerned you are applying for a job ffs. Doesnt that make you all feel warm and cozy? I can't do things that way. What's the point? As far as I can see all that does is turn it into a chore for both sides. This stuff is supposed to be fun, isn't it?

ThundersCry2U -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 5:10:07 PM)
Beat `em, use `em, fist `em and kick `em to the curb...and say I`ll see ya in a few weeks... How much more romantic can a guy get... It`s not rocket science...

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 5:17:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub22 Romance is NOT dead - at least for me. My sweetie bought a kettle and my brand of tea for his apartment when he was romancing me. If that isn't romance, I don't know what is. Ditto. When he was romancing me, my husband would make sure that there was Brie or Camembert in the house, that was acquired early enough, and had been sitting out on the top of the fridge long enough, so that it was perfectly ripe when I was over at his place. Did you meet in bdsm venue? Married couples, many of them has pre-established romance models that carried over and I expect have a much higher success rate than those of us who are single and trying to get something with substance going. We met on CollarMe.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 5:44:25 PM)
none of the successful, or even nearly successful, BDSM relationships i have had originated in any way with the BDSM community. Every single one of the disastrous BDSM relationships i have had originated in the BDSM community. take from that what you will. i did.

Greta75 -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 7:40:17 PM)
FR I don't feel like romance is dead. But perhaps it's the direction I go looking for it. I always demand the romance. I mean it's the criteria I look for. I always romanticized BDSM and I couldn't get along with someone who doesn't go about it romantically. The guy gotta be sweet. Even if his a dom, he doesn't have to be like in "asshole mode" all the time. If he is, why bother with him. Nothing wrong with even making a whole play night romantic, flower petals, candles, him cooking dinner for you to start. I like all the repetitive V-Day stuffs.

tamaka -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 7:59:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 FR I don't feel like romance is dead. But perhaps it's the direction I go looking for it. I always demand the romance. I mean it's the criteria I look for. I always romanticized BDSM and I couldn't get along with someone who doesn't go about it romantically. The guy gotta be sweet. Even if his a dom, he doesn't have to be like in "asshole mode" all the time. If he is, why bother with him. Nothing wrong with even making a whole play night romantic, flower petals, candles, him cooking dinner for you to start. I like all the repetitive V-Day stuffs. If you have to demand it, it isn't really romance.

DocStrange -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 8:44:26 PM)
I do not think Romance is dead but in this day with technology many have forgotten or never learned the art of courtship. There are many simple things you can do to show her you care. Here are just a few: Open doors for her Bring her flowers Bring her chocolates Kiss her hand Serenade her with music Send her a hand written letter Write her a poem Compliment her on a new outfit, hair style, etc Take her to a candle lit dinner Walk her to her car after she gets off work

tamaka -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 8:47:33 PM)
Kick her cunt.... works better for me! ; )

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/2/2017 8:57:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I do not think Romance is dead but in this day with technology many have forgotten or never learned the art of courtship. There are many simple things you can do to show her you care. Here are just a few: Open doors for her Bring her flowers Bring her chocolates Kiss her hand Serenade her with music Send her a hand written letter Write her a poem Compliment her on a new outfit, hair style, etc Take her to a candle lit dinner Walk her to her car after she gets off work Romance isn't following a set of rules. Romance is doing something that shows that the other person is special to you, and you've paid attention to them as an individual enough to know what they like and care about. I wouldn't enjoy my husband doing any of the things on that list. And I certainly wouldn't consider it romantic if he did (instead I'd be kind of insulted and suspicious). I'm sure there's lots of other girls who would be thrilled with that stuff, but that's because they're the kind of girl who likes that stuff. Knowing if she's the kind of girl who likes that stuff, and tailoring what you're doing to her specifically, instead of following a list of 'stuff that works with other people' is the first step to being romantic. The last romantic thing my husband did for me is let me drive the entire 14 hour drive back home from a family event last week -even though he hates to just be a passenger the entire way on long drives like that, and me driving stresses him out because he thinks I drive like a maniac- because he knew I was stressed out, and driving helps me calm down. The last romantic thing I did for him was put a lock on the door to his den (without him mentioning wanting one) because I know he's got a hard time taking some time for himself to relax, and he's way to lax on letting the kids interrupt him by just barging in there without knocking. Those things are not conventionally romantic, because they wouldn't work for everybody, but they are romantic for us, because they show we pay attention to each others needs, and care about making each other happy. And yup... romance goes both ways. It's not just always the guy doing stuff for the girl. Girls need to romance their dudes as well.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 10:27:20 AM)
quote: Romance is doing something that shows that the other person is special to you, and you've paid attention to them as an individual enough to know what they like and care about. Correct.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 10:28:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Kick her cunt.... works better for me! ; ) That's more being flirty than romantic. ;)

littleladybug -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 10:55:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression? My personal experience has not been that way at all. Certainly there are some people who approach it that way, but they are fairly easily weeded out, IME. It's been a little over 2 years since I contacted my Master on the other side here. From the start, we have been on the same page regarding wanting a long-term, monogamous relationship. There's definitely not been a shortage of romance here.

peppermint -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 10:59:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne Did you meet in bdsm venue? Married couples, many of them has pre-established romance models that carried over and I expect have a much higher success rate than those of us who are single and trying to get something with substance going. We met at a BDSM kinky camping event. I was single and just looking to have some fun for a few days. He drove over from Montana with some friends to see what was happening in Washington. He tells me every day that he loves me and brings me a single rose regularly. The best thing is when he allowed this city girl to get the chickens I had wanted for 35 years. He would wake up at 4 am and sit at the window with his rifle when the fox was trying to eat the birds.

Real0ne -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 11:33:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: If you want to see real 2016 romance type the word 'application' and do a search. As far as many of them they are concerned you are applying for a job ffs. Doesnt that make you all feel warm and cozy? I can't do things that way. What's the point? As far as I can see all that does is turn it into a chore for both sides. This stuff is supposed to be fun, isn't it? well thats my take on it anyway, that is the point :)

Real0ne -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 11:45:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThundersCry2U Beat `em, use `em, fist `em and kick `em to the curb...and say I`ll see ya in a few weeks... How much more romantic can a guy get... It`s not rocket science... You mean to tell me you didnt expect them to fill out an application, send endless emails, pay all your bills, buy youa a luxury home, turn over all their assets, provide you with a check every week, use, abuse and beat em, then find the BBD kick em to the curb? LOL From what I have seen out here they are definitely are more romatic that you! [8D]

Real0ne -> RE: Romance is Dead (1/3/2017 11:49:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression? My personal experience has not been that way at all. Certainly there are some people who approach it that way, but they are fairly easily weeded out, IME. It's been a little over 2 years since I contacted my Master on the other side here. From the start, we have been on the same page regarding wanting a long-term, monogamous relationship. There's definitely not been a shortage of romance here. Glancing through the thread I am taking note that so far romance appears to be reserved for male dom female sub couples so far.

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