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Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 11:07:00 AM

sleazybutterfly

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Last night, I was reminded of how much pleasure I get from a certain activity. I love to be slapped in the face, the power, the passion, the pain, the intense fire it causes throughout my body. I become instant putty in the hands of the person that gives this to me.

For me, if a Dom has that as something He WON'T do..I know that the relationship will not be fulfilling for me. There are other things that I like and enjoy to a very high degree, but this is something that is just part of me, my wants, and my desires.

When I met with my first Dom, he grabbed me by the back of the hair and slapped me hard. I have been hooked ever since.

Do you have anything as a sub/slave that you MUST HAVE as part of scening. That if it wasn't done, you know you wouldn't be totally happy in the relationship?

Yes, I know that this relationship is more than just one thing and one thing only. Things need to be built on so much more..etc....and I do agree.

Most people however, do have that "IT" factor and this is mine. What is yours? What is it about it that is so important for you? Why do you think it is?

This is just for fun.. I am just curious what other peoples are.

~Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 11:15:54 AM

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Other than have respect for me, there's nothing specific a person NEEDS to do in order for me to have a great scene with them. My interests and fun vary from soft and fluffy to harsh and risky, so for any particular scene, I can enjoy just about any type of style.

Now, in order for me to scene with them over time and develop a relationship with them which includes scening, I think humiliation would have to be part of the repertoire in some form.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 11:20:11 AM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Yes, I will not be with someone that isn't some what of a sadist and have turned down seemingly successful and nice dominants that did not like inflicting pain. They would always say they would if I needed it, but that is not the same as giving us mutual pleasure, unless the dom gets off on it too it would be empty for me.

Also if a dominant had trouble with my exhibitionistic tendencies this might cause problems, because this is an integral part of my nature and an overly jealous dom would be displeased with me. I am not much of a flirt, but it is a part of my nature to "show off" on many levels and it would be very hard for me to squelch it.. it would almost be like telling a dog not to bark..lol

Good question!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 11:29:30 AM

sleazybutterfly

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Thank you...

I just thought it was interesting, because I have turned down Doms and didn't go any further if I knew this was something they didn't like. I wonder now if some say it, because some sub/slaves DON'T like it. They will change their tune when I say, "well, I really love it and I can't be with anyone that doesn't enjoy it also" they come back a lot of times and say they do. Well, that cuts them out again, because there isn't honest communication involved. How would I ever know if they were telling me the truth, or just saying what I wanted to hear?

I am a bit like that also, I flirt a lot. It's just something I do without thinking about it. That would hopefully be accepted by whom I was with as just part of the wonderful me.

~Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 11:50:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

I just thought it was interesting, because I have turned down Doms and didn't go any further if I knew this was something they didn't like.

Good for you for both being self-aware, and non-manipulative by simply chosing not going into relationships that will leave you dissatisfied. I think this is important as well. I, personally, am not a strap-on fan. I tell male submissives who interest me up front that it's not something I'm ever going to do with them, so if strap-on play is something they can't live without, they know I'm the wrong person for them.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 11:54:19 AM

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My 'IT 'factor is goint to be quiet different then most i think. I was reading this with Master he was sitting and i was standing beside him. I said well my 'IT 'factor is this and i asked for his hand and put it on my waist then i put my arms around him and he hugged me back and i kissed him and said just being in your arms is my 'IT' factor.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 12:32:23 PM

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The "IT" factor for me is that He and I can be soft or hard, and we seem to be in-tune as to which it will be at any given time. I know I sound sappy.....but HE in totality is my "IT" factor....(heavy sigh)

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-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 12:55:34 PM

SenseofBelonging

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my "it" factor is bondage. to be so completely within the control of another...to have no voice, no choice, no control over what happens next sends me over the edge mentally.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/24/2006 1:41:04 PM

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For me it is the touch.. that soft touch that holds so much promise of pain. I do not do well with doms even upon a first meeting who cannot just reach out unapologetically and touch me in some fashion which will show this.

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This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to SenseofBelonging)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 5:23:52 AM

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Hair pulling, choking and name calling.

To be exact.....

(of course yes I do like softness as well, but if we are doing harder sex, play, etc... yummmmy)

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If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

(in reply to JessieMe)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 5:26:21 AM

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My "IT" factor, oh hell yes, it's the pulling hair. It literarly makes me week in the knees and I'm just putty from that point on.

(in reply to amoretta)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 5:33:04 AM

Sasy

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From: Texas
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Has to be a hair thing ... One they must enjoy long hair. ( my hair annoys me at times but with it ias long as mine that is gonna be) They must enjoy using it which can be from pulling for correction or just getting my attention to knowing a hair brush has more than one way to use it ... I would say it has an intended use but I have bought two brushes at one time both for specified uses

(in reply to subedana)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 5:47:58 AM

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Apparently, some Dominants and Masters don't appreciate begging from a submissive. But I like it so much, I am not sure I could give this up.

I also think I am probably a Switch, and the idea of orgasm denial turns me on in a Domme-male sub relationship - and am not sure I'd want to give that up, either.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/25/2006 5:48:39 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 6:07:33 AM

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Yes, they must be my owner/s, the one/ones i love and am collared to. With that condition fulfilled i enjoy almost all of it. For me it is about that power exchange, the submission, the love. Without that connection they could be the most skilled dom in the world and nothing happens for me, i mean nothing. I know i have tried.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 7:07:27 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
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I sat here reading the OP, and then the responces, thinking about my "It" factor - only to realize that I don't have an "It" factor in the sense that yall are talking about.

There's nothing in particular that "has" to be done for me to stick around. There are several things that "can't" be done if I'm going to stick around. I mean - yeah, I really Like the hair pulling thing (at the right time - at the wrong time or from the wrong person it simply pisses me off) and the bondage and pain (if I didn't enjoy them, I wouldn't stick around in BDSM circles at all.) But nothing stands that as Having to be part of things for it to "work" for me, as opposed to deal breakers/mood killers.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 7:20:35 AM

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I must say that from the flip side of the coin I would have to echo twicehappy's thoughts.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 7:32:32 AM

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The "it" factor, i sat reading the OP, then the other posts, and i still felt the "it" factor for me, isn't so much the BDSM aspects as the D/s M/s aspect, to me that is foremost, and where my "it" factor lies. If there is not that deep connection on that level, for me there won't be any "it" factor when bdsm is incorporated. So, i guess for me the "it" factor, is that special connection and compatibility with "Him." Sure i like (love) hair pullling, as well other things mentioned, however if "HE" isn't "IT" for me...then the rest won't be "it" either. A very thought provoking question, thank you. ~nsty

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Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

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RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 9:47:29 AM

sleazybutterfly

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The answers you have all given are very much appreciated. It is varied from person to person, which I expected.

I agree that a connection must be there with the person, or the "IT" factor won't do a dang thing.

My first Dom was wonderful, a really nice guy, and a friend still. When he slapped me, it felt good and was nice. So were the others, I enjoyed it, it turned me on a bit, sometimes a lot. Then when I got with my former Sir... I knew what it was all about. He and I had a connection and with that came the most mind blowing slaps ever. The one that right after the hit, you take the hand that inflicted it..and kiss it begging for more.

I also had the experience, where one slapped me and it did nothing, zilch, zip. Well, that's a fib.. it did piss me off a bit.

So.. in the end...some sort of connection needs to be there for me. When I ever have the One... I can't even imagine the bliss that slap will give me. *shivers*

~Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to nstyslave)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 3:46:09 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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I am presupposing the IT factor to me would be the control from him...Tempting

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Your "IT" factor - 7/25/2006 8:58:52 PM

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my "IT" factors: TPE, psychological compatibility, chastity/orgasm control, service. Someone who understands that it's about fetish second, not first.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

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