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Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 3:10:24 PM

Zenar

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/4/2005
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Once again a slightly different slant on a question that seems to be going around, how important is one specific act or kink? Some submisives need that one special thing to put them in their place, be it tht they are spanked, slapped, ect, and some need it to where they need the dominant to also need that one thing.

There is one slight twist to this in my own twisted sence. I realy dont have a favored kink or act, what I get out of it is the exchange of energy, the control, more simply the control of finding that one special button and pushing it, or even better to make them think I am about to push it and make them wait. I have heard the term "Service Domminant" in that a top will do something to please a submisive more than to please them self. I really dont consider myself in this aspect, but perhaps similar. I do things for my own pleasure, but what pleases me the most is to push those buttons.

I guess then the question becomes, where is that fine line between being a service dom and being a master? Is there a line there at all or did I come across a grey area? I would just like to hear the answers on the other side of that question.

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 3:36:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zenar
I guess then the question becomes, where is that fine line between being a service dom and being a master?

Wherever the person says it is.

We're all doing what fulfills us in who we are. A master who buys a nice dress for their slave because they know it will make them smile isn't "service topping."

What changes things is how the people involved feel about the commitment- that's really the only definition there can be.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Zenar)

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 3:51:21 PM

Zenar

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
We're all doing what fulfills us in who we are. A master who buys a nice dress for their slave because they know it will make them smile isn't "service topping."
What changes things is how the people involved feel about the commitment- that's really the only definition there can be.

What a lovely answer, I couldnt have said it better myself. I am reminded of a time at work when I would ask really simple questions. Some times they would look at me as if I was stupid asking the same questions over and over. I finally confessed to my boss that it was not as if I didnt already know the answer, but instead it was that I was looking for an alternative, perhaps some thing that is commonly over looked, a different way of doing things.

< Message edited by Zenar -- 7/24/2006 3:52:23 PM >

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 4:02:45 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I would not worry about it and enjoy yourself. My Daddy finds his domspace in putting me into subspace. He isn't a service top or dominant. We believe in the synergy of the power dynamic and that we feed each other. If all a dominant does is take then they will have a submissive that has nothing left to give them, sooner or later the well will run dry.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 4:47:52 PM

TopCurious0

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/2/2005
From: West Lafayette, IN
Status: offline

Interesting question...
I feel similarly... I sometimes say my kink is the meta-kink, but I don't feel like a sub at all. Finding out her buttons gives me power over her. I can make her react. I can tease her, taunt her, control the timing, and turn her to putty in my hands. I use the knowledge she gives me but I control how its used .

Fun Stuff! especially when the other person is very reactive.

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 6:43:37 PM

dominmd

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Very simply, I am a service Dom. As far as i am concerned..................YIPPIE for me. But I get the energy that flows off off a completely satisfied submissive. A submissive is in this case a service submissive giving me what I need just as i giver what she needs. A Dom that does this can in her eyes be a Master, and is worthy of the title. As he has mastered the subs desires and wants, giving her that which she needs and desires.

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 7:50:10 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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Zenar,

I believe I'm quite with you on this one. I've long since decided that my next partner can have whatever interests she wants, and I'll find a way to meet those as well as stretch them in a way that is interesting for both of us. I'm a pleaser, but I do have my playful, devious ways as well.

I also have 15 years of experiences of all sorts behind me, in all sorts of areas. I don't want to scare someone off because I've done things she (whoever it turns out to be) might not like. I want to explore, and expand on, her fantasies.

I, too, have had the 'service' tag put on me, and I didn't like it. But, still I just want a compatible woman that I will add to that compatibility by sharing her kinks.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 8:09:01 PM

APhacetoSit

Posts: 87
Joined: 11/23/2004
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imho,
What You do or allow has less to do with being a Dominant than that You do it or allow it. as a sub, i am often motivated by what might be, and what has been offered as reward for proper service.

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How do the Angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porchlight on?
All skill is in vain when an Angel pees in the touchhole of your musket.

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 8:10:43 PM

Zenar

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/4/2005
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Very interesting responces so far, I've always been an advocate of come to know yourself and make peace with what you are. Once you acomplish this you can then make your strengths grow stronger. From what I am reading of other opinions I begin to see the question of if I am service dom or not? I am still not going to answer such either way. Only time will tell the honest truth, but I think I might enjoy pondering the question a while. Perhaps such a tag is not always a bad thing? Yet again as with all other tags, be it submisive vrs slave, dominant vrs master, they are black and white where as reality is so many different colors. This is not to say I am confussed, but I have always felt that a master should reflect and question our own motives from time to time.

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RE: Pushing Buttons - 7/24/2006 8:32:23 PM

ownedgirlie

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Master pleases himself by igniting certain reactions in me. It pleases, relaxes and amuses him to get me to respond in various ways. My response is what it is, typically because I absolutely love what he is doing. Is he doing it for me? Not necessarily, no. He is using me to please himself by bringing me to a place of heat, of craving, of groveling, and as wildly lustful as possible. Sometimes he allows me to carry it to fruition, out of his desire to watch me orgasm, or out of simple generosity. Other times he keeps in that state without release. The choice is his. It is my pleasure to be used as such a toy. So in the end, we are both happy, no?

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