How does being an alpha sub work ?

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How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 3:48:02 PM

GBaxter

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If a woman calls herself an alpha sub, I was curious to know how that works and/or if it makes any sense,
if there's anyone here who also considers themselves to be a female or male alpha sub.

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 4:41:52 PM

tamaka

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An alpha sub is when you have 2 or more subs serving you, one of them might be the 'alpha' or dominant sub... also known as 'First girl on the chain'. The other subs are subordinate to the alpha sub.

(in reply to GBaxter)

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 5:16:52 PM

Wayward5oul

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An alpha sub can be what tamaka described, but it is also widely used to described a submissive with a strong personality, one who outside of their submissive dynamic is perceived more as a dominant type rather than a submissive type.

Below are some blogs from alpha submissives that you might find interesting, one or two are dominants who interact with alpha subs and discuss them from their perspectives. Their perspectives may or may not give you the insight you are looking for, I am not sure. Poking around on their sites may lead to others sites that help. I included short descriptions of what they consider alpha subs to be as well.

The intent behind the term “alpha sub” is to distinguish between a person who is sexually submissive but not submissive in real life and a person who is submissive all the time. it’s generally used for women; I don’t think I’ve ever seen the term used for a male submissive. An alpha sub is a woman who often has a position of power in her day job, who is nobody’s doormat, and who the casual observer would not guess to be a sexual submissive. The term originated, undoubtedly, as a way to show how sexual submission doesn’t mean weakness, showing that alpha subs can be sexually submissive while not being submissive in the other aspects of their lives. It’s intended to be empowering, I think.
http://eliawinters.com/dont-call-alpha-sub/

. To me, the only difference between your A type submissive and your Alpha is that Alphas set the bar for their dominants higher and require a person that completely personifies there expectation.
I think that it is often hard for Alphas to find companionship because so many Dominants can’t or don’t want to be under the kind of constant pressure that relationship with an Alpha sub entails. But isn’t that the whole point of being an Alpha anything… having the strength and ability to stand on your own until the right person comes along and not settling for Mister or Miss Right Now….?
http://feministajones.com/blog/can-an-alpha-woman-truly-submit/

This is where many BDSM-ers freeze and freak out and become very angry that someone who is a full-time submissive can possibly be dominant in some facets of their life. I have been screamed at by many people when I tried to discuss this in a BDSM Facebook group – I must not be a real submissive they say.

Actually, I am a real submissive. I am a 24/7 submissive, I serve my Master, I follow his rules, I accept punishments (occasionally begrudgingly), but I do all the things that people associate with being a submissive. Now there is no ONE way to be a submissive – my service is not your service. I keep the house clean, the laundry done, I use my ben waa balls daily, and follow all the other components of my contract – this makes me no less Alpha.

I am a dominant person outside of what I do with Master. Though he is always my Master and I always follow his orders and cater to his needs (thus still being submissive to him ALWAYS), I like the feeling of power and control. I am a top student at my university. I always lead group projects in the classroom and at work. I am applying to PhD programs and the only student at my research attempting to obtain an academic publication. I am always a dominant personality in my friend group. I take control in these situations – this makes me no less submissive.
http://www.submissiveguide.com/2014/12/what-an-alpha-babygirl-is-to-me/

The submissive alpha female is a woman who is strong, confident, bold, and assertive in her life and her dealings with people in general—but who wants a dominant man in her life because she finds it sexually exciting to be dominated by a strong, powerful man. She might or might not be in a position of authority at work; but she has a personality and a level of competence such that she could be in such a position and command respect.
http://www.takeninhand.com/the.submissive.alpha.female

n my experience, Alpha Females and submissive vixens are often two sides of the same strong woman: one public side, one private side. I have discovered that many women who are Alpha Females professionally by day (Executives, Doctors, Lawyers, Entrepreneurs, Supermoms) often crave to be submissive vixens in the bedroom.
https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/self-understanding/alpha-submissives/comment-page-1/

The Alpha sub is a strong confident woman. Quite often outside of the D/s relationship she is a powerhouse unto herself. She expects respect, she expects things to be done a certain way. She expects that she will intimidate men of all types. She knows how to work a crowd, she knows how to be the centre of attention. This woman is as comfortable being the leader of an organisation as she is at handing the reins over to someone else who she feels is worthy of being her protégé. The Alpha Sub woman is very close to being a perfectionist in everything that she does, and expects others to follow her example. What she gives, she gives freely, but does not expect to be stabbed in the back with what she has freely given.
http://blog.beautifullybound.com.au/submissives/the-alpha-submissive-female.htm

(in reply to GBaxter)

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 6:21:44 PM

HoneyBears

Posts: 337
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From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
An alpha sub can be what tamaka described, but it is also widely used to described a submissive with a strong personality, one who outside of their submissive dynamic is perceived more as a dominant type rather than a submissive type.

IME, in a poly household context, alpha subs are oftentimes referred to as the alpha slave in charge of the other submissive(s).
I have also seen it used when a bisexual switch is the primary sub to a master or mistress, but then prefers to Top the other gender.
For example, a DD/lg where the lg is bisexual and enjoys Topping other women as a switch. The lg may see herself as a *bratty* sub.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
The intent behind the term “alpha sub” is to distinguish between a person who is sexually submissive but not submissive in real life and a person who is submissive all the time. it’s generally used for women; I don’t think I’ve ever seen the term used for a male submissive. An alpha sub is a woman who often has a position of power in her day job, who is nobody’s doormat, and who the casual observer would not guess to be a sexual submissive. The term originated, undoubtedly, as a way to show how sexual submission doesn’t mean weakness, showing that alpha subs can be sexually submissive while not being submissive in the other aspects of their lives. It’s intended to be empowering, I think.
http://eliawinters.com/dont-call-alpha-sub/

Per the blog you quoted, this person must live under a rock because many male subs like to refer to themselves as an "alpha sub," seeing themselves as a Type A personality in their public lives, but preferring to be submissive in their private lives.

Frankly, I have found that those persons who go throwing around the "alpha" (or Type A) label when referring to themselves ... are usually not.

Having said that, I would consider Cub to be an alpha sub, although he doesn't use that term himself, in terms of his responsibility level.
He is very much a take-charge alpha in his everyday professional life, and as the eldest son who took care of his younger siblings.
He has never shirked taking on additional responsibility, and in assuming a leadership position in real life, both at work and when he was in the military.

In private, he sought out FLRs. He's always been more of a (straight) switch, but in 5-6 years, I have not had any issues with insubordination.
He claims it's because he is pain-averse, and therefore more inclined to be obedient!

-- Lisa

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to Wayward5oul)

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 7:00:15 PM

Wayward5oul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
An alpha sub can be what tamaka described, but it is also widely used to described a submissive with a strong personality, one who outside of their submissive dynamic is perceived more as a dominant type rather than a submissive type.

IME, in a poly household context, alpha subs are oftentimes referred to as the alpha slave in charge of the other submissive(s).

Do you consider that what tamaka described, or is there a distinction? Not just the number of people involved, but also the power dynamic, as far as 'sub' and 'slave' goes. Some people use the words interchangeably, some don't, and that can create confusion and unnecessary misunderstandings. Personally, I see them as different, because of couples that I know in the community who identify as D/s and or M/s.

quote:

I have also seen it used when a bisexual switch is the primary sub to a master or mistress, but then prefers to Top the other gender.
For example, a DD/lg where the lg is bisexual and enjoys Topping other women as a switch. The lg may see herself as a *bratty* sub.

Those I get.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
The intent behind the term “alpha sub” is to distinguish between a person who is sexually submissive but not submissive in real life and a person who is submissive all the time. it’s generally used for women; I don’t think I’ve ever seen the term used for a male submissive. An alpha sub is a woman who often has a position of power in her day job, who is nobody’s doormat, and who the casual observer would not guess to be a sexual submissive. The term originated, undoubtedly, as a way to show how sexual submission doesn’t mean weakness, showing that alpha subs can be sexually submissive while not being submissive in the other aspects of their lives. It’s intended to be empowering, I think.
http://eliawinters.com/dont-call-alpha-sub/

quote:

Per the blog you quoted, this person must live under a rock because many male subs like to refer to themselves as an "alpha sub," seeing themselves as a Type A personality in their public lives, but preferring to be submissive in their private lives.

I tried to get blogs that showed different perspectives, different experiences. Some are more experienced that others. If the OP is reading more than one source he/she will probably catch onto things like that themself.

quote:

Frankly, I have found that those persons who go throwing around the "alpha" (or Type A) label when referring to themselves ... are usually not.

Funny. When I first started all of this, I would have said I was one. What I thought was an alpha sub anyway. I saw it as being close to a brat on the spectrum, and I felt I was somewhere between the two. Now, I consider myself as being a strong woman, but I don't think of myself as alpha. I consider myself as kickass and get the job done and don't screw with me, but all that can be done without being what I consider as alpha-aggressive, dominant, take-charge manner. I am more the strong, silent type. An approachable no-nonsense leader if necessary, or a subtle, get the hell out of my way and let me get this done type. And while I am a smartass and sarcastic, and love to joke around, I have no desire to cross that line with my partner. So I dont' see myself as alpha, sam, brat, or any of that anymore.

quote:

Having said that, I would consider Cub to be an alpha sub, although he doesn't use that term himself, in terms of his responsibility level.
He is very much a take-charge alpha in his everyday professional life, and as the eldest son who took care of his younger siblings.
He has never shirked taking on additional responsibility, and in assuming a leadership position in real life, both at work and when he was in the military.

In private, he sought out FLRs. He's always been more of a (straight) switch, but in 5-6 years, I have not had any issues with insubordination.
He claims it's because he is pain-averse, and therefore more inclined to be obedient!

-- Lisa

You sound like a very lucky woman!

(in reply to HoneyBears)

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 7:21:23 PM

Greta75

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I consider myself an alpha sub.

I guess in a poly dynamic, which I am NOT into, I'd have to be top sub. Second in command.

I am not a gentle sweet submissive personality. I'm pretty aggressive and strong willed.

I consider myself an alpha type personality, but I am always looking for the alpha of my alpha.

Infact, usually dominant men brings up dominance in me, and not submissive tendencies, and they will never be able to control me, and I completely understand that would be exhausting to them, not getting any respect or co-operation. But I guess it just means, he is not able to manage me.

But once in a blue moon, I meet an alpha that makes me feel naturally softer and more obedient towards him. I only met 2 men in my life like that so far. So just seem to manage me superbly from day 1.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/15/2017 7:24:11 PM >

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/15/2017 7:49:05 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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As with all kink labels you really have to ask her what she means.

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Not your average bimbo.

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/18/2017 6:45:46 AM

WickedsDesire

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Have you asked her if she is a wolf or howls in her sleep?

wonders what a beta sub is and I am fairly certain they just make this shite up - picked of someone else's gobbledygook, random site of nonsense, deranged nutter forums words, etc

Perhaps I am simply getting olde/more senile with all these new fangled terminology of blarney.

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RE: How does being an alpha sub work ? - 1/20/2017 7:26:05 PM

WickedsDesire

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Is still awake...I know bad wicked tonight (women mail me- I expect 0)
Are you dumb R1...regale us with ones narrative.
Or are you dumbo and bit of a thicko – heh did you vote for it?

Now I remember!
They all fall to their knees and declare me God…this seems correct…oh, and they hammer me with the titty pictures and beg for a drop of my orgasm of fiith …and their husband divorce them

Its coming back to me a now

Wicked reeMeebers

< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 1/20/2017 7:56:01 PM >

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