Silence

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painchic -> Silence (1/30/2017 7:39:40 PM)
Have you had any experience with using the Silent Treatment to manage your submissive if she has overstepped the mark?

LTE -> RE: Silence (1/30/2017 9:32:30 PM)
What, and waste a perfectly good excuse to whip her? To pull her hair and direct her to a more pleasant task for me? I suppose I could be silent during this and the occasional long stroke using my Wartenberg pinwheel against freshly laid down stripes or her now swollen and more redish than normal vulva. Yes, blindfolded and given the silent treatment during such "punishments". Oh, you mean for a long period of time as punishment? Like to cut her off? I think women tend to resent that treatment and turn bitter. That is not my objective. There are much better forms of communication than silence. Don't you agree? See my first answer. Repeat as needed.

OsideGirl -> RE: Silence (1/30/2017 9:42:49 PM)
We don't have a punishment dynamic and the silent treatment would be a serious issue to me. We discuss problems and try to find solutions to achieve success.

tamaka -> RE: Silence (1/30/2017 9:56:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: painchic Have you had any experience with using the Silent Treatment to manage your submissive if she has overstepped the mark? Only if she over- stepped a real potential deal- breaker and you want her to take some time to think about whether she values you or not.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Silence (1/30/2017 10:02:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: painchic Have you had any experience with using the Silent Treatment to manage your submissive if she has overstepped the mark? I wouldn't say that I use "the silent treatment". I will say that, at times, there are issues that arise that are so emotion-laden that it is in my best interests to "take a pause". In fact, I grew up in Irish and Italian (and German) households, raised by immigrant grandparents. The Irish and the Italians - in my experience - tend to be a bit more boisterous, in almost all settings, than other families with which I was familiar. So raising my voice has never been an act of anger. It's an act of "joie de vivre". As I said, there are times, when an issue is so emotional on either side that I just walk away and take a few minutes or hours or (in *extreme* cases), days. It's not like I made a snap decision to end my marriage (and you'd better believe there were some deep issues, there) and I am sure if you asked my ex-wife if I gave her "the silent treatment", she would say that I did. I can assure you, I was just trying to keep things in perspective and desperately trying to hold a relationship together. Lest I forget to mention the smallest of "silent treatments": I've had times, where someone has said something to me that just caused me to stop and stare and try to gauge intent by reading their face. One of my partners once told me: "I didn't know if you were going to kiss me or kill me, for those few seconds". To me (and this JUST MY OPINION) unless it is something that a partner enjoys, what I would term "the silent treatment" is actually an inability of the dominant to face issues, head-on. It's passive-aggressive to the Nth degree. Michael

DesFIP -> RE: Silence (1/31/2017 12:45:08 PM)
We solve the problem for the future instead. And it's surprising how much of the time the problem was due to miscommunication. Are you taking responsibility for not teaching her to do things? Or for demanding things that threaten her home or work? If you are demanding bad things, then I suggest she gives you the silent treatment from now on, with an order of protection.

OsideGirl -> RE: Silence (1/31/2017 1:41:27 PM)
Judging by the profile, I'm guessing it's a cyber thing. So, it may just be that his wife caught him wanking off.

Greta75 -> RE: Silence (3/1/2017 2:52:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: painchic Have you had any experience with using the Silent Treatment to manage your submissive if she has overstepped the mark? Everytime it seems like a new poster post something and never replies later. Anyway, this is a good question. I urge all dominants not to use silence treatment to discipline their submissive. Because I think the core of D/S is, communication, communication, communication. Think of it as raising a child. How would silent treatment help a child in any way really? I know it's a full grown woman or man, but still, unless this was communicated in advance. Like you already warn the sub that, this is your way. IF she does something that displeases you. Silent treatment will be one of your reactions. So she is pre-warned. That would be healthier for your relationship and for her.

Musicmystery -> RE: Silence (3/1/2017 8:41:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: painchic Have you had any experience with using the Silent Treatment to manage your submissive if she has overstepped the mark? No. I'm not a child. I just say what I have to say.

littleone35 -> RE: Silence (3/1/2017 4:01:18 PM)
For us the silent treatment is a no go. If ther is a problem if i did somethng he talks to me about and makes sure i will not do it again. I think silence sloves nothing. Matt's littleone

kiwisub22 -> RE: Silence (3/2/2017 3:22:52 PM)
My dominant was not about the silent treatment - if there was an issue with me, he addressed it upfront, got my perspective and decided on an action. The silent treatment to me seems juvenile. Think pouting. My kids thought I gave them the silent treatment - nope - generally I was so angry I had to get away from the situation before I said or did something I would regret. If this is the situation with a dominant and a submissive, I would make sure upfront that the other realized that this is how I cope with extreme emotions, with the understanding that I would be talking about it when I had calmed down.

Master504u -> RE: Silence (3/3/2017 7:06:47 PM)
I have found the silent treatment depends on the partner. Some enjoy that I am quiet while others dislike it. If they like it then it is not punishment. Still the statement can be made, some time needs to be taken to consider what exactly is meant by that statement or action.

duchkey -> RE: Silence (3/8/2017 9:13:53 PM)
NO, LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN NO. COMUNICATION is the key to any healthy exchange. I have had two girls that pushed me to the point that I was unable to remain rational and leave headed. Both times I was clear with them about what caused me to be so upset and tell them I was unable to talk to them further at that moment and that I would reengage with them on the subject after 24 hours. I would have attempted to salvage one relationship and chose to end the other. If you (they) need time to evaluate the dynamic, take it, if not keep communicating @tamaka I agree @desFIP

AdamSilentMentor -> RE: Silence (3/12/2017 6:45:57 AM)
Definitely yes. Understanding - as some said already - that communication is the key thing in any healthy D/s relationship, I find the lack of it to be the most cruel punishment I can choose. Sure, I can force my cock down her or his throat. Yes, spanking until my hands get tired could get my point across. Corner time, speech restrictions, holes abuse, all those are physical punishments. They heal soon and - even worse - take my slave's attention from the mistake he or she has done and makes them focus on the physical pain. If the mistake is great, I will forcibly give them time to think about it. The worst place to be for them is their own minds, knowing they have made a huge mistake.

WickedsDesire -> RE: Silence (3/12/2017 8:47:26 AM)
guffaws - when did you become almost as cynical as i? That aside the silent treatment can be used as a formidable weapon

NoirMetal -> RE: Silence (3/20/2017 7:41:28 PM)
Leads to resentment and disconnection. I would rather have HER shut up for a day. That's a real punishment for a woman-hear me say shit and not be able to reply.

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