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themysticsiren -> RE: Help! Disturbing Desires. Emotional Manipulation? (3/17/2017 12:19:03 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
I think you should be concerned because you are concerned.
Simple, but very true.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
This thread took a really weird twist. I'm going to tell you right up front that I'm not comfortable with some of it. After this response, I probably won't be returning.
Thank you LadyPact for taking the time to look at my thread at all and for giving it some genuine thought, I really appreciate it. Your points were heard. The fact that he needs therapy, he's showing red flags and he has a history of abuse should be enough for me to realize the danger and leave. Thanks for the link on grooming, it was a very helpful read and does in fact line up with his actions.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You know he committed criminal acts. You know he targets the youngest possible partners. What that says to me is that he has no remorse and seeks to replay his criminal actions but without risking jail time.
I'm interested on your thoughts on this perspective: his counsellors say the fact that he's seeking counselling at all is a sign of remorse. He seems to be putting effort into reflecting on his actions. He's seeing 3 different counsellors. He's been doing pages long reflective writing assignments. He also reached out to the counsellor from his hometown who has context on his relationship with his sister. Do you see this as progress?
Also, doesn't the fact that this relationship is not illegal count for something? There are a lot of people without remorse who wouldn't make the compromise. It seems to me that he at least recognizes that his wants are wrong and it seems like he's trying to fix himself...maybe?
quote:
ORIGINAL: tamaka
Some people like to play with fire until they get burnt. Others find they like the way being burnt feels.
When I read your post tamaka I had mixed feelings. It seems like an unhealthy perspective and yet I really relate to it. Being away from him is harder than being with him. And while staying with him leaves a nasty burn, I love the intensity. I often wonder if I would love him as much if he didn't hurt me the way he does.
He challenges me, surprises me, complements me, excites me - with him I'm adventurous and spontaneous. I'm hearing from most of you and the voice in my gut that it's wrong and unhealthy and potentially dangerous but my heart or my genitals or whatever are making it hard for me to see clearly :/ I think Lady Pact is right when she says it's on me if it ends badly.
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