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Submissive/Slave - 12/6/2004 1:46:05 PM

brendover

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

In people's profiles, what exactly is the difference between a submissive and a slave?

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RE: Submissive/Slave - 12/6/2004 3:27:54 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

A lot of people use the term interchangeably. They are not (in my opinion) interchangeable. To me, being slave is a more complete thing than being submissive. A submissive retains free will and choice. A slave trusts their dominant so much that they give up their free will. A submissive is a partner to a Domme. A slave becomes her property. A slave gives up use of their safe word for other than health reasons. A slave doesn't get to say they aren't ever in the mood or that they don't like X. They lose hard limits and their primary focus is to provide for every need of their Domme. With me, it would be a position achieved out of love and long service.

Anyone who says they are a slave on their profile gives me a pause. If they are willing to be a slave for anyone.. they're not worth much. I respect it more if they say they've been a slave in the past and would like to be a slave again, or that they've never been a slave but hope to one day achieve that position. Someone who is anyones meat is a bit distasteful. If anyone can have them as a slave, it would belittle me as a Dominant to take them on. To me, it would mean I felt my skills as a Dominant were so lacking that I had to take someone that required no effort.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to brendover)

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RE: Submissive/Slave - 12/6/2004 3:47:39 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
They lose hard limits

I agree with your definitions 100% except for this bit. I think I define hard limits a bit different from others, though, because they are, to me, things which you can't do for health (physical or emotional) reasons, legal reasons, or moral reasons.

I believe that an individual's hard limits should match those of her partner. As such, I don't believe that a slave gives up those hard limits, rather both she and her owner have the same ones.

I think this might be a definition thing though.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to BeachMystress)

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RE: Submissive/Slave - 12/6/2004 4:41:23 PM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Slaves to me are people who don't see themselves as having any value, doormats, typically with low self esteem, and voluntarily surrender thier right to consent. They frequently see them self as inferior to the dominant in all areas. I have a hard time with slavery for starts It's illegal, and frankly I just don't get why anyone wants to be a slave. I'm sure my opinion will piss off a few, Nothing new there!..

A Submissive is someone who willingly gives of him/herself to the best of thier ability within reason in effort to improve the quality of life of those they serve.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to perverseangelic)

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RE: Submissive/Slave - 12/8/2004 8:53:14 AM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

A lot of people use the term interchangeably. They are not (in my opinion) interchangeable. To me, being slave is a more complete thing than being submissive. A submissive retains free will and choice. A slave trusts their dominant so much that they give up their free will. A submissive is a partner to a Domme. A slave becomes her property. A slave gives up use of their safe word for other than health reasons. A slave doesn't get to say they aren't ever in the mood or that they don't like X. They lose hard limits and their primary focus is to provide for every need of their Domme. With me, it would be a position achieved out of love and long service.

I agree with this. I've heard it stated such: A submissive thrives in a carefully negotiated relationship, giving and maintaining control over certain things. A slave surrenders control completely and vows obedience. If issues of obedience vs. health come up, then the slave must re-evaluate the relationship.

When I heard this, this little bell went off inside my head and the difference that I knew was there and had been trying to express, became clear.

Neither relationship is better than the other, merely different.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

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RE: Submissive/Slave - 12/8/2004 12:26:28 PM

alwayzron

Posts: 234
Joined: 9/23/2004
Status: offline

I think, too, some people enjoy the fanasy of being 'owned' by someone, but in reality cannot hang with it in real life. But I do know of two couples who live in Mistress/slave relationships 24/7. It works for them.

But it's the same as submissives. Many men like the thought of being a 'submissive' because of the fantasy of being sexually exploited ... something that rarely happens in the non-kink world. However, take away any hope of sex or physical contact and the 'submissive' is suddenly not very submissive at all. After all, ladies, how many e-mails do you get from people telling you all of the things they need done to them?

(in reply to MistressFire70)

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RE: Submissive/Slave - 12/8/2004 4:39:11 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

They lose hard limits

I do not agree with Your anoligy Beach
slaves do not lose hard limits. they simply only have one time to invoke them befor the contract is signed or the kolar applyed and then they cannot be changed or added to unless the Dominant chooses such but whats put in place at the beginning cannot be changed by either if the hard limits are listed within the contract befor kolar is applyed or the contract is broke and Free Will is gained again by the slave. no consensual slave looses any thing. consensual slaves choose to give to another all things except those hard limits. That is all. subs can choose to change them at will with out the control or the concent of the Dominant.

I know sum with Your opinion Eden and Alltho I do not agree with it in the least will stand up for Your right to opinionate it to My death.

I feel that slaves are much stronger beings then submissives.
It takes a strong person to make a choice to give up all to another.
It takes a person devoted to something more then self and are in My
opinions selfless. Let Me correct Your misnomer Eden, unconsensual
slavery is against the law in 3/4ths of the world but in 1/4 of the world
it is still legal. Of course unconsensual slavery is quite alive and well in
ALL parts of the world illregardless of the laws in place. Consensual
slavery or what I call concensual slavjudication and is practiced in
more ways then You realize not just in the USA but around the world.
here is My Definitions of the differances and keep in mind ALL those
whom choose to serve no matter what role or position do so as FREE
WILLED PERSONS. There is a little ittiy bittie piece of paper with a single
sentance that covers this persons rights to Free Will and it says *the right
to pursue happiness*

quote:

a submissive chooses by the moment by the minute
by the hour by the day by the week by the month by
the year when and how and who and where they will
choose to serve a Dominant daily to fullfill their selfs
or to not.

a slave chooses to serve once forever
to fullfill the Dominants needs.They are a person held
concensually in servitude as the chattel of a
another person. one that is completely servient
to a Dominating influence. a device
(as in a posession) that is directly
responsive to anothers needs completly. selfless.

If you are a person whom is suplicant and in order
for you to feel subjudicant you make choices in what
you will give then you are submitting but if you
choose to let another say what you will give you
are slave

now this is My take on those into suplication n subjudication.
MistressDREAD™®©reg/1979