UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012 Status: offline
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Will she be expected to do housework? If so, how much? Will she be expected to have a job? Not have a job? What kind of job opportunities are there where you live? If she's not supposed to have a job, then what about her financial future? If she is supposed to have a job, then how will household finances be handles? Will she contribute financially, if so, how much and for which things? Will she keep her 'own' money, or are all finances handled communally? In either case, how will break-ups be handled financially? Will she have her own room? Her own closet space? What if she likes different food from the both of you (more junk food, for example)? Will that be part of the 'normal' household budget, or will she have to provide for those things herself? If she's to provide for those things herself, then what if her desired food budget is much larger (or smaller) then your own, how are you planning to keep track? What about clothing budget? What about activity budget? Will she be allowed to have a say in the decorating of your house? Or will she perpetually be in 'guest' mode, where you both make all of those decisions? Will she have alone time with both of you individually? Will you both have time together, with her not included? If so, how much, and on which schedule? What are the sleeping arrangements? How about date night? How are anniversaries handled? How much are you both willing to budge when she has plans or dreams that are not in line with your own? Lets say she wants to go on vacation to a location, or see a movie, or a play, which both of you, or one of you has no interest in going to? In a monogamous relationship, most people can count on their partner 'giving' a little, and doing some stuff they might not have preferred to do, to make their partner happy. Can she count on that from you? How will you handle family events (thanksgiving, Christmas, weddings, etc)? Are you introducing her as your mutual girlfriend, or is she always left behind? Will you both be available to go to her family events? What if she doesn't want to admit she's poly to her family, will the male half of your couple be available to her to go to family events while the female half stays home? How are you handling communications with your local friends, neighbors, etc? How is retirement planning happening? Are you approaching this as a couple, or is it 'each for themselves'? If she's not working, are you setting money aside for her retirement? Money she'll get to take if ya'll split up in 5, 10, 30 years? What about health insurance? In short: how much will she be a part of you both as a 'core' couple, and how much will she be the 'outsider', only included when it's fun and pleasure, but left to her own devices when it comes to her finances, future, security, etc, and always expected to be the one to 'give in' when what you both want is different from what she prefers?
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I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner And your whore But let me tell you something baby You love me for everything you hate me for
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