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Disconnection - 3/27/2017 3:46:14 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Hers a question. My BFF (no its not me) has been with her Dom for about 6 months. Recently he had to go away for a week on business. She sees him 3-4 times a week. He gave her tasks to do while he was away things that would keep her occupied, and he calles her every night.

She was telling me that when she does not see him she feels discconted and lot like his sub. I don't know why she feels that way. it was only a week. Befoe i was living with my Master i did not see Him every day 3-4 time a wwekk for us also. When i ha dto go away for a family reunion and He had to work i was away from Him for a week, i felt no disconnection. I did call Him everyda, i know i am His and if i don;t see Him for a week does not make me amy less His. I guess it could be that we have been together for 11 years. Even im the beginning it was the same, once i accepted his collar we were always connected.

What do you think i should tell my friend?

Matt's littleone

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RE: Disconnection - 3/27/2017 3:53:57 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
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Perhaps encourage her to take a more holistic look at the relationship? Has she been happy overall? Does she feel things are developing in an encouraging way?

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RE: Disconnection - 3/27/2017 5:03:41 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
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Yes she is very happy and things are looking up. I guess she should also talk to him tell him how she is feeling. Maybe that will help.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Disconnection - 3/31/2017 6:58:22 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Sub frenzy would be my guess. BDSM is all new and shiny. We were LDR for three years, lucky to see each other once a month.

Ask her if it would help if he told her how much he misses her during the away time. Because sometimes that's all you need, to know you aren't the only one feeling like this. And if so, she should tell him she needs this because he's not a mind reader.

It could be a love language thing, if her primary need is touch.

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RE: Disconnection - 3/31/2017 10:04:23 PM

heavyblinker

Posts: 3623
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Sub frenzy would be my guess. BDSM is all new and shiny. We were LDR for three years, lucky to see each other once a month.

Yeah, it could be that.

If you don't have experience, then it's possible for someone to come along and offer you a laundry list of BDSM fantasies and then maybe a few other non-BDSM qualities that make you more eager to accept the list. So you get turned on by the list and the thrill of submission without objectively looking at the person behind it, especially if they're really full on with lots of contact-- you can lose perspective and allow the fantasy to overpower the reality.

Maybe she's more attracted to what he is offering than she is to him as a person.

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