Eh I had an ex kill themselves and I have been down the suicidal worm hole myself. I don't doubt the threats are real on some wavelength. It's just a cry for help. But also...if they won't accept help then there's fuck all I can do.
In two days, I'll be alone for an entire week, Plan B is looking more appealing than ever. I can't say I'll mis many of you, but at least the funeral costs are already paid for. And a lot of you won't have to listen to me anymore.
You say that therapists don't want to treat you. My guess is that is not entirely true; more likely they don't see the point of trying to help someone who refuses to try to help herself.
For your life to get better, you have to want it to get better. And you have to be willing to do the work.
There are no magical Unicorn farts or pixie dust that will make things better. Better is hard. Better takes work.
I don't want you to die, but all my wanting in the world will not make youwant to get better and find meaning in your life.
I have major depressive disorder and anxiety along with PTSD. I am on medications for this. Medications are not a panacea. Better still takes effort and willingness. But I am more willing on the medications than when I am not.