To make matters worse, I'm diagnosed ocd with relationship ocd. This makes it hard for me to determine what's a true problem in the relationship and what's just made up in my mind by my obsessions.
honestly, at this point I would say the best thing for you would be to not be in any relationship at this point in time. You need to deal with your issues without the roller coaster of what you do to a relationship. Otherwise, you're just going to keep repeating the cycle.
Alternatively, she could simply renounce the notion that she's to have any say in the matter. It isn't written in some kind of holy book that everyone, including the incompetent, are to be arbiters of things and matters.
OP : Just go live with your Master and STFU. Maybe in time you'll grow a head capable of useful function, maybe you won't. Big whoop either way.
Representative democracy doesn't work and doesn't make sense.