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Very different, or all the same? - 4/18/2017 11:17:45 AM

tamaka

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Do you prefer everyone in the family to be very different personalities, or all very similar? How does it playout in everyday life?

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 4/18/2017 2:07:59 PM

mythicalsex

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Different. It's not likely that a poly house will work if everyone is a dom or a sub.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 4/21/2017 5:25:31 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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If we had the same personalities we'd be the same person.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 4/22/2017 8:47:32 AM

LadyPact

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I almost feel bad for answering this question because I don't feel that I am the norm or even the majority when it comes to poly people.

Unlike people who consider themselves poly by nature, I'm poly for a specific purpose. Basically, I wouldn't be poly if it weren't for the kink and D/s aspects of my secondary relationship. This means at any given time, my husband and my submissive will always be different types. My relationships are two completely different models. My primary relationship fulfills what I consider my needs and my secondary relationship is pretty much about the aspects that I consider my wants. Should it ever come to pass that I lose my kink or power dynamic interests (it's been known to happen for some people) I'd have no need for a secondary partner.

Right about now is when people start losing their shit because my reasons for being poly don't match up with other people's. To me, being poly isn't about my capacity for romantic love with more than one person, (though it's been known to happen) or any of that stuff that a lot of poly people try to hold over monogamist people's heads because of some kind of enlightenment they think they've found. I happen to be in the section of poly people that look at the realization that says, "hey, maybe it's just not practical to expect one person to fulfill everything that I might want in life". From a certain angle, trying to be somebody's everything has to be a little exhausting.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 8/4/2017 2:59:12 PM

AtUrCervix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

Do you prefer everyone in the family to be very different personalities, or all very similar? How does it playout in everyday life?

I prefer everyone to think precisely like me.

I'm currently working on a personality generator device.

If you come in to a relationship with me....you are required to put on the PGD ("personality generator device" copy write)....at which point...within seconds...you think like me.

##END##

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 9/12/2017 12:21:32 PM

KinkyBlackMan

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I have had an ongoing relationship with a couple I met on a swingers site for almost 10 years. My relationship with them is the closest thing to a poly family dynamic that I have experienced. We are all very different people and I think that is the only reason that it has worked out for so long. But on the flip side, it has also made it very difficult to bring any single female I meet into the dynamic.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 9/12/2017 4:07:03 PM

AtUrCervix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

Do you prefer everyone in the family to be very different personalities, or all very similar? How does it playout in everyday life?

I prefer everyone to be exactly like me....however, my preferences to date have not yet been followed through on.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 9/27/2017 6:24:50 AM

shiftyw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I almost feel bad for answering this question because I don't feel that I am the norm or even the majority when it comes to poly people.

Unlike people who consider themselves poly by nature, I'm poly for a specific purpose. Basically, I wouldn't be poly if it weren't for the kink and D/s aspects of my secondary relationship. This means at any given time, my husband and my submissive will always be different types. My relationships are two completely different models. My primary relationship fulfills what I consider my needs and my secondary relationship is pretty much about the aspects that I consider my wants. Should it ever come to pass that I lose my kink or power dynamic interests (it's been known to happen for some people) I'd have no need for a secondary partner.

Right about now is when people start losing their shit because my reasons for being poly don't match up with other people's. To me, being poly isn't about my capacity for romantic love with more than one person, (though it's been known to happen) or any of that stuff that a lot of poly people try to hold over monogamist people's heads because of some kind of enlightenment they think they've found. I happen to be in the section of poly people that look at the realization that says, "hey, maybe it's just not practical to expect one person to fulfill everything that I might want in life". From a certain angle, trying to be somebody's everything has to be a little exhausting.

I haven't been "poly" for a while- but this ^^^^^^ is reallllllly how I see it. When I was in a different situation i chose different people, because I like variety- and they filled different voids because I can't imagine one person being everything for me. Even if my current relationship is mono- I struggle with that sometimes because there are some wants not being filled (and I'm selfish about that stuff).

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 9/30/2017 12:30:34 PM

DocStrange

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I rather like diversity. Although like LP said, I do not feel like at I am the norm or even close to it. I am at a point in my life I am not really seeking marriage. It could happen but not really looking for it. I have a Mistress who is for the most part long distance. We have a great relationship. We make regular trips to see each other. But it can be months in between depending on work schedules. We have an open relationship that we are free to see and play with others. She actually sends others my way because I have a very well equipped dungeon that they can have access to equipment they have not played with before. So it works out pretty well.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 9/30/2017 3:19:48 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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We all have very different personalities, which is not at all surprising seeing as we are all different people

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 9/30/2017 3:31:07 PM

GabrielLogos

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In some cases here on this site one person seems to be a great many personalities, (or at least profiles) or maybe many personalities here seem to disturbingly be the same person.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 10/1/2017 2:21:48 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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One sees what they want to see. Personally I really don't care as long as the opinions expressed are not stupid, like the one you expressed was.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 10/8/2017 9:44:12 AM

LordDreamWolf

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Personally I find that differing personality types are an advantage in a poly household. The one I belong to has multiple Dominant, switch, sub, and slave personalities.it work well for us.

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RE: Very different, or all the same? - 11/8/2017 2:37:09 PM

Kushieline

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Speaking from personal experience, I have never once jumped into a relationship because we were "the same". Compatible yes. Similar interests, sure. Identical? No. That would be boring. Every single person needs some sort of personal downtime. No one I know does it the same way, because it is so personal. My point being that no matter how conformist someone is, they have differences. In the poly and kink worlds multiply that by a lot. That variety is what draws us to another person. That hey you are different and into different things! I would like to try them. If we were all cookie cutter there would be a lot of Christian Greys and Anastasias running around, and who wants that?

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