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how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/19/2017 5:42:53 PM

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I remember being 18 years old and watching porn and being fascinated with dommes. I wasn't sure what anything was yet, or what fetishes I enjoyed. I just knew the "domination" aspect turned me on. Upon googling, "bdsm", which I saw frequently as titles in porn, I started learning and researching the lifestyle.

How did you first discover that you were a sub?
-takeyourpride

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/19/2017 10:03:06 PM

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I was born this way , but i did not realize how i felt had a name what i was until my early '20s

Matt's littleone

(in reply to takeyourpride)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/20/2017 12:26:03 PM

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I've always been this way.

I just discovered in my early teens that there were other people whom are also like this.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to littleone35)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/20/2017 7:22:15 PM

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From: Western MD
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For the sake of discussion, let us contend that in its nascent stages, there is such a thing as the Inner Submissive and the Inner Dominant.

They are catalysts to one another.

I had a pet once for a couple of years in junior high school. Nothing sexual, we weren't bf/gf. We just enjoyed each other's company and joked around a lot.
I even introduced him to my friends as my pet, and he enjoyed that immensely. It made him feel special, I suppose. My special, devoted pet.

He would have never taken on this role for anybody else, but he trusted me implicitly and I knew that I could always count on him, too.
He was like the little kid brother I always wanted who would do whatever I wanted, who eagerly followed my lead and my instructions without question.

It felt very natural for us to interact in this manner in public and in private. We had great fun!

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to takeyourpride)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/22/2017 8:25:10 AM

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Born this way.

I am brought up and taught to be a strong independent woman who can lead and also to believe that I can do anything and everything that men can do, and also encouraged to do better than them in everything. While I didn't have a great mother, but as a modern woman, it felt like she did 100% everything. Run her own business, take care of kids, and take care of her husband. Her husband, my dad, seriously just works. No house hold responsiiblites, no children responsibilities. No financial responsibilities too as my mom made way more money than him. So essentially, all my dad's job was to go to work, come home, relax, watch TV, sleep, go back to work, and get serve hand and foot by my mom, despite my mom, taking care of everything and running her own business and company as well.

So in a way, my mom was the textbook modern woman. So in terms of "nuture", that is the person I was "nurtured" to be. To be capable of everything, practically essentially, when I seriously look at the role of my father. He was completely redundant in our lives. He doesn't bring home the dough. He doesn't take care of kids. He doesn't take care of the home, do housework. Precisely what was his role except being like the 4th child for my mom to take care of and why did my mom need him at all except for sex? I have no idea. He was completely useless even for emotional support.

But what is nature for me, is whatever BDSM kinks I am into, and that I am a sexual bottom. Knew that since 5 years old. Once I hit teens, I simply find boys to entertain my kinks of being a sexual bottom.

So I have a very aggressive dominant stance for a submissive, but I was nurtured this way.

(in reply to takeyourpride)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/23/2017 7:50:54 PM

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The very first sexual fantasies I had were submissive and involved being "forced" to do things which I actually found quite scary, distasteful or potentially humiliating, at the hands of strong, outrageous or brutal women. For as long as I remember having explicitly sexual thoughts, and certainly before puberty, I had quite involved and complex fantasies of this type and even masturbation revolved around these scenarios rather than straightforward sexual release. The excitement for me was the the sense that I was being used for someone else's pleasure and their enjoyment in owning and controlling me.

This was nothing to do with porn or BDSM imagery as I was not aware of either, although on reflection the some of the women I was drawn to were fairly "alternative" in their appearance, if they weren't girls from my class at school. I was also surrounded by very strong, if not domineering female figures in my close family and I just could not imagine being with someone who wanted traditional gender roles, with me "in charge" of the relationship.

It wasn't until I was at university when it all came together when I was with a girl who was much less socially confident than me but dominant privately within our relationship. I was probably in my early twenties before I was able to understand that this stuff defined me and a bit later when I realised that dominant women were naturally attracted to me.

In my mid twenties I was able to give the fact that I was submissive a name and learned all about BDSM. Since then I have come to realise how kinky I am and the fact that it is something that I have to be relatively private about in my professional life. In many ways I wish that I had been more explicitly conscious of BDSM in my teens and early twenties as I would have made different decisions and been able to lead a far more open life and been far more involved in the lifestyle beyond my private life. However there's no point in having regrets.

I have never questioned why I am submissive and where these deep seated desires come from. Despite the fact that BDSM seems a bit fashionable at the moment, genuine D/s (as opposed to wearing clothes to look the part) is still generally frowned upon but it's doesn't harm anyone else and has at times given me and my partners great pleasure and fulfilment.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/23/2017 8:07:27 PM

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My boss took me home and tied me up when i was 18.

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/24/2017 9:48:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

My boss took me home and tied me up when i was 18.

That actually sounds traumatizing. I hope it was consensual and not rape.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/24/2017 12:45:49 PM

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From: The Shire
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Born this way baby.

I was raised on the internet so...I knew there were others like me.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/24/2017 12:52:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

My boss took me home and tied me up when i was 18.

That actually sounds traumatizing. I hope it was consensual and not rape.

I didn't want him to stop. It was awesome. I had no idea about 'the lifestyle' at that time. He told me to call him "Sir" etc. I thought it was just a him and i thing.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/24/2017 1:06:52 PM

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You have a fat arse

_____________________________

wE arE tHe voiCes,
We SAtuRaTe yOur aLPHA brain WAveS, ThIs is nOt A DrEAm The wiZaRd of Oz, shoES, CaLcuLUs, DECorAtiNG, FrIDGE SProcKeTs, be VeRy sCareDed – SLoBbers,We DeEManDErs Sloowee DAnCiNG, SmOOches – whisper whisper & CaAkEE

(in reply to takeyourpride)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/26/2017 6:52:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Born this way baby.

I was raised on the internet so...I knew there were others like me.

I took far too many words to say it, but "born this way" just about sums it up for me too.

(in reply to shiftyw)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 5/27/2017 2:57:44 PM

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Apparently I'm way older than most of the respondents - I grew up with books, not the internet - and before "dirty" books were available at the local bookstore, or internet.
I married a dominating man - this is not a good thing - and once I got rid of him, I found some books that made my blood heat up - most of them were by Aran Ashe, and VERY bdsm-y. Then I found the Beauty books.

Once I got to the point I wanted to have a relationship with a man, I put an ad on a vanilla dating site, basically saying I didn't want to be in charge of the relationship, I just wanted a say in what went on. Got a reply from a man who basically described a D/s relationship and asked if this was something I wanted. Freaked me out right royally, and said yes (of course). Of course, he didn't live in town, and wanted me to wear 5" heels all the time, and had a primary sub. It didn't get much past phone calls, but from there I found a bdsm site and didn't look back.

I was 50 when I found all this , and my only regret is that I didn't find it when I was 20. If I had, I might have figured out the difference between a dominating man and a dominant man *sigh* It would have saved a lot of time and trouble.

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 6/12/2017 6:52:29 AM

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Joined: 1/3/2013
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i too am certain I was born this way. from my early pre-teen memories i always felt an intrinsic need to please others - there was a submissiveness and passiveness even then before i even understood what it was all about. about the time puberty hit then i knew for sure : )

(in reply to takeyourpride)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 6/12/2017 7:08:58 AM

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Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
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I've been this way as long as I can remember. I have always been attracted to the Alpha Females in my life. Not sure why. Not getting into some Freudian thing. Submission is so much more to me than just fetishes and being sexual. While that is apart of it, its certainly not the sole aspect. Even when I was young, I would be submissive towards women. Going that far back, I think is a sign I've always been this way. I didn't quite have a name to it until one day I saw that movie Exit to Eden. That let me know there was a name to this. Then of course the internet, magazines, books and so on.

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Charley aka Sub Guy

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(in reply to asub2b4u)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 6/16/2017 12:56:07 PM

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Joined: 10/11/2004
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I was born this way and new it at age five but have held it in my hole life because of the world around use

(in reply to Charles6682)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 8/16/2017 3:47:30 PM

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Joined: 4/12/2006
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The first time that my stepdad administered a bareass spanking to me. Instead of being angry or upset by his hand smacking my ass, i felt extremely aroused. I had to work hard to keep my tiny penis from becoming aroused.

After that experience i felt very submissive and obedient towards him (and later towards older males in a position of authority over me).

(in reply to slsandra)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 8/25/2017 8:22:50 AM

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Joined: 2/4/2017
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Always kind of leaned toward this (born this way). When my current wife and I started dating she was a bit on the sadist side and we just kind of experimented from there. Now we have a large collection of impact toys, dildos, strapons, hoods restraints and so forth

(in reply to sub4all2use)

RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 8/25/2017 3:23:13 PM

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hard to say exactly, it was more a process of self realization than any one specific event or moment, it just sort of became obvious over time.

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Not your average bimbo.

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RE: how did you first discover that you're a sub? - 9/14/2017 3:30:59 PM

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Joined: 8/15/2015
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i remember seeing a movie that had a scene in it where a woman was bound spread eagle and used. I was fortunate and had a friend in high school's whose whole family was into BDSM. when i turned 18 His dad introduced me to BDSM in the back of His panel van ... bound and used. i was so thankful to know i wasn't a freak or going to hell for what i desired naturally!

(in reply to takeyourpride)

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