UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012 Status: offline
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First things first, for the purpose of this thread, I'm going to lay down how 'play' is defined in this thread, so that we're (hopefully) all on the same page as far as language is concerned. This does not mean that this is the only definition of what it means to 'play', or that other definitions aren't valid, or that I'm telling you that the way you define 'play' is wrong. I'm just trying to use a word to communicate a set of meanings, where that set of meanings doesn't have a universally accepted definition. If your definition of what play means is different, great, I've got no problem with that, but for the purpose of this thread I'd like you to just roll with mine, so that it doesn't turn into a semantics debate. Got it? Great. So the definition of 'play' as we'll be using it: "Any action you perform that falls under the BDSM umbrella which, if a vanilla person was observing you, would strike them as usual, weird, kinky, or sexy." To give a couple examples for the sake of clarity: - If you bring your Top a beverage, and you kneel down and utter a ritualized phrase ("Here is your drink Master"), so that a vanilla person would notice 'something weird' in seeing you doing it, that would count as 'play'. - If you bring your Top a beverage, and you just put it down next to him, in an unobtrusive way, in such a manner that a vanilla person wouldn't bat an eyelash, that would not count as 'play'. No matter how much you're doing it out of a sense of submission, or whether you're doing it at their command or not. - If you wear a butt plug under your clothes, because your Top ordered you to do so, that would count as 'play' because a vanilla person -if they happen to see it due to whatever circumstance- would find that kinky/weird. - If you wear red panties because your Top ordered you to do so, that wouldn't count as 'play' because a vanilla person -if they happened to see it due to whatever circumstance- wouldn't notice anything unusual about you wearing red panties. - If your Top grabbed you by the hair, and forcefully pulled you to them to pull your head back and kiss you, that would count as 'play', because a vanilla person would notice the power exchange and find it unusual. - If your Top came up to you and kissed you, that would not count as 'play', because a vanilla person wouldn't find anything unusual in that, even if you privately knew were not allowed to refuse to kiss them in that moment. - Obviously any type of overt scene, involving rope, spankings, whips, and all the other trappings would count as 'play' as well. But I'm thinking of a definition of 'play' which is more broader than a complete scene. Clear? Cool. So with that in mind: How often, on average, do you engage in any 'play' style activities in any given week. As far as those who are curious as to why I'm asking goes: in the 15 years that I've been engaging in BDSM in full time relationships, I've never had a time in my life where I've had as much play as I wanted/desired. I'm trying to gauge if my expectations are just unrealistic, and if I'm just an insatiable slut (too much is never enough), or if I just have the misfortune to always fall for partners who have a lower desire for kink play than I do.
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I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner And your whore But let me tell you something baby You love me for everything you hate me for
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