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jlf1961 -> Problems that need to be solved with government research (6/16/2017 6:58:46 AM)
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There are a few major problems to be solved (which IMO) would make the need of armies and new high tech weapons obsolete.
1) A cure for those with the mental defect in which they insist on talking to me (and people like me) before we have had our first cup of coffee.
-Seriously, I figure 90% of relationship arguments, pre noon assaults and other violence would stop if people were cured of this affliction
2) Government spending programs that would purchase and supply short board using surfers with surf boards, after remaking the surf boards using bio degradable (and easily digested) compounds.
-A scientist studying shark attacks noticed a dramatic increase of white shark attacks on surfers after the rise in popularity of the short board. He further discovered that from below, a surfer on a short board looks remarkably like a nice FAT seal.
-Great white sharks eat nice FAT seals.
Thus supplying short board using surfers with free surf boards will eliminate them from the gene pool and also provide the sharks in question with a surf board that will not harm their digestive tract. Now it has been proven that sharks with very few species exceptions, do not like the taste of human flesh, so the surfer gets bit, bleeds out and the shark can eat the board (kind of like a taco salad in a tortilla bowl.)
As for the remains of the unfortunate surfer who is too stupid to have read the report proving a link between shark attacks on surfers using short boards versus shark attacks on surfers using long boards (long board surfers are hit by sharks on an average of 1 for every 22 short board surfer attacks) it effectively eliminates them from the gene pool.
Now, it would seem that by supplying edible surf boards to surfers would increase government spending, please understand that most surfers do not have sufficient medical insurance to cover the cost of such traumatic injuries, and thus the cost is shifted to hospitals and to the government which subsidizes the county and public hospitals that offer care to those under insured or not insured.
3) Eliminate SAR operations for those idiots who go jogging on trails in the hunting area of large predators, as well as hunting down the large predator that attacked the stupid person who was dumb enough to go jogging on such trails.
Sorry, but two points here
Cougars, like any feline hunter, are wired to chase (and kill and eat) anything that runs from them. The see it as a prey item. This fact has been known for decades.
Building houses and establishing jogging trails in areas these large predators live in does nothing more than add another prey item to their menu.
Instead of spending money to go get these idiots and transport them to a hospital (usually by helicopter, which is expensive to operate) leave them out there and forget hunting the cougar down. For the most part, animals do not like the taste of human flesh, and after a few experimental bites, the cougar is going to go find something to wash the taste out of its mouth. Now granted an injured or sick predator will eat human flesh, but rarely do they develop a taste for it.
By leaving the idiot in the wild to die, you are actually contributing to the bio matter in the soil, providing food for scavengers who dont care what the hell they eat (kind of like a typical stoner on a snack search) and thus protecting the ecosystem.
4) Connecting treadmills, stair climbers and stationary exercise bikes to the power grid.
You think I am joking? The increase in the use of these devices in gyms is astronomical.
So, if instead of them being powered, allow the user to generate electricity by running on them using the same principle as the hand crank power supply that was used in military radios in WW2.
The gym benefits in two ways, first, the users pay for the privilege of using the machines in a social environment, and second, the electric utility pays the gym for the power generated.
By the way, the average human in good shape using this equipment for one hour a day can generate 900 watts of energy, and considering that over 19 million people in the US alone go to a gym at least 3 times a week....
5) Increase revenue streams for viral video tv shows and national government.
Look a purely random "walking and texting accidents video" search provided over 23 million unique results.
First, make it illegal to obscure the faces of the people who appear in the video, second, instead of them being paid for their appearance, have them pay the producers of the shows the equivalent of 2cents per airing (automatically deducted from paychecks with a fee paid to the government for the service)
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