Collarchat.com Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning? - 8/11/2017 9:24:14 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

he likes it that way

Looks like we got the good ones, eh?

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning? - 8/11/2017 10:24:04 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Really? Well bowl me over, I never would have thought that.


Yeah really.

Not doing quotes cause it'd be too long but:


I saw him as dominant from the first moment I saw him, which is why I basically threw myself at him, took him home, and fucked him senseless for a weekend.
Check.
The problem was he didn't see himself that way.
Sorta check, considering that he saw himself much more as D/s than M/s, with me coming from a strong M/s background. And so he was much more 'bedroom only' with less control in vanilla life than I wanted.
So I did the sort of stealth sub thing with him, being the best girlfriend a guy could want, but it didn't do it for me. I needed him to dominate me actively, not passively, I needed him to make decisions without me having to urge and cajole him into it.
Check.

Well over the next couple years our relationship got increasingly strained, because I was unhappy in it because he wouldn't take control.
Check.
I didn't tell him, because I was somewhat in denial myself at that point, but one night after we had a huge fight, one that looked like it might bring the relationship to an end, I got really drunk, and when he came home I just spilled my guts to him, I laid it all on the table.
Difference. I did tell him. Often. We evolved several times from those conversations.

He took me to bed and held me till I cried myself to sleep, and the next morning he told me he wasn't sure if he could be any good at it, but if I would show him and teach him, and be his coach, he would try to give me what I needed.
Close enough in essence that it's a check.

After that we talked a LOT, a whole fuck of a lot, about me, my wants, needs, motivations, and his feelings about it, his wants, needs, he did a lot of thinking to develop his ideas regarding his role, and mine, and together we just figured out what might work for us and implemented it.
Check.

We've fucked up a couple times (well to be honest, quite a lot), but after every fuck up we talk about it, what went wrong, why, and what we would do about it. And we then adjust what needs adjusting and we go forward, together, as a team.
HELL fucking check.

We still talk a lot about me and my demons and dark corners, he knows more about me than anybody else, including myself.
Check.
I say that because when I get upset (it happens a lot, which I am sure comes as no surprise to anybody), he always seems to know exactly how to get me through it. This is central to our dynamic, it gives him the insights he needs to do what I need without me having to tell him or ask him the way I did at first.
Not check. In fact, this is somewhat reversed with us. He's got hang ups with letting his 'beast' out, as well as struggling with depression, and I'm the one that always knows how to get him through. However the bond created by working through stuff together like that still strengthens our dynamic instead of undermining it.

The struggles were with both of us. It took him a while to be comfortable with hurting me, he found it a turn on, but it went against his socialization. When I finally realized and accepted that I was a masochist, and that I actively wanted and enjoyed being hurt, it became easier for him.
Check.
The time with The Other Fella also helped a lot, because he had competition, and that sort of drove him further into the role, but it also helped him define his limits, there were things The Other Fella would do that he didn't enjoy doing.
Check. Seeing me play with other men did that for Ullr. For example, before he'd seen another guy choke me out, he was very hesitant about breath play. Now he does it without even thinking about it during sex. And when The Other Fella split, that helped him as well, because we were in a time of extreme crisis and I was a total mess, falling back into the booze and dope path, and it fell on him to take control of the situation despite his pain and grief. And he did. and he has not stepped back since.
Check. Though difference circomstances.

While the D/s element is an integral and central aspect of our relationship, it is a relationship before it is a D/s relationship.
Check.
I suspect there would be a huge difference between what we do and what anybody would consider anything even vaguely M/s.
Check.
And while our power dynamic is not very visible to the outside world, I am a bossy, demanding, and mouthy partner, but that is the way he wants me to be, we tried me being meek, and we both hated it.
Check. With the exception that he still likes me meek from time to time. But he knows how to put me there when he wants me there, like a puppet on a string. Most of the time he wants me to keep as close of an eye on him keeping his shit together (and speaking up when he doesn't) as he does with me. I have the direct expectation to speak up when I this he's being an asshat... and to just generally be cheeky and keep him on his toes. It's part of the service he expects.
he started dating me because he liked my crazy, and he doesn't want me to stop being the crazy chick who picked him up in a bar one night.
Check. Except that it was online.
He's told me that I'm good at pushing him out of his comfort zone, because I'm crazy and just run around wild while he wants to overthink everything. He's learned to let go to some extend, and to just follow me on my crazy spur of the moment ideas, knowing that it won't be the end of the world, even if it does go wrong.
He likes the spontaneity that brings into his very ordered existence, and one of the things he's worried about throughout our relationship is how to have me collared and him firmly in charge, while not putting the breaks on that kinda craziness at all.



_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning? - 8/11/2017 10:37:28 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline
What do you mean by TPE = Total Power Exchange dont laugh I asked 3 times what that meant. A fair question, you will find, and not a bad thread either Sagittarius :) Define what it means to you please.

_____________________________

wE arE tHe voiCes,
We SAtuRaTe yOur aLPHA brain WAveS, ThIs is nOt A DrEAm The wiZaRd of Oz, shoES, CaLcuLUs, DECorAtiNG, FrIDGE SProcKeTs, be VeRy sCareDed – SLoBbers,We DeEManDErs Sloowee DAnCiNG, SmOOches – whisper whisper & CaAkEE

(in reply to sagittarius33)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning? - 8/11/2017 10:46:40 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
You know, I am really intrigued by all the parallels in our lives, despite the surface differences and our different approaches, the more we delve into things, the more similarities emerge.
Though I still find a lot of the things you do scary and way beyond my comfort zone.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 24
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Have you ever done a 24/7 TPE from the very beginning? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.039