UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick And once you were on the plane did you still feel "unsafe" Yup, very much so. I was rather jumpy and irritable, to the point that the flight attendant checked twice whether I was okay. I was in a state of paranoia, literally so, I wasn't coping with reality very well. I didn't get to a point of feeling safe until I got home, which again is circumstantial, because it's a rather happy accident that I actually made it home instead of, for example acting weird and suspicious in a way that would make the TSA detain me for questioning, or something... which btw, I wouldn't have been able to cope very well with at all. quote:
ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick Look I know what you mean, but I am an English major so really my objection is with your word usage, and you being an ESL person it is unfair, so I'll just say this. It was a solution, just not the one you would have preferred to have taken I do get your point. It's just that it wasn't just a sub-optimal thing to do, it was actually a "wrong thing which accidentally turned out okay" thing to do. Based on the date gather from this incident, Ullr has already decided that going forward, there will never ever be a circumstance where the scene ends and I'm on the plane the same day. There will necessarily be a 24-48 hour cool off period in which I won't be allowed to leave, but active captivity/torture is stopped, to see where my head ends up being. And that is whether it's a scheduled or an unscheduled stop. He's concluded that me leaving same day is actively dangerous, and is seriously considering never again to let me come home un-escorted, even after a cool down period. quote:
ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick I sincerely hope your next attempt works out better. And would also remind you that you are human, and the adverse reaction you had may not have been due solely to the blurred vision, but rather to the entire experience. A "straw that broke the camel's back" sort of thing perhaps?. Nods, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Especially considering that I ought to have known that there wasn't really an issue with my eyes, because I've hit this problem before years ago. But getting to the straw that broke the camel's back was exactly the point... I set this entire thing up with the expressed purpose of finding that 'breaking point' and then pushing past it. Which is thus actually the only thing we actually failed to accomplish, because I found my breaking point, and then instead of pushing past it, I found the breaking point of both Tops involved, and forced them to call off carefully made plans of going past that breaking point. It's still good data, mind you, because now for instance, I actually have a better idea of where that breaking point actually is, and what might happen when I get there, whereas before I had no clue. And I didn't only find this one, I found another one as well much earlier (that my captor on purpose decided not to push on this occasion): cold. Apparently I can't stand cold one bit, and it'll reduce me into a broken mass with only one objective -to get warm- in an unreasonably short amount of time. And by 'cold' I mean "Being immobile and naked at ambient air temperatures around 60F for more than a few hours", not "Temperatures low enough low enough to cause serious imminent threat of hypothermia, sustained for long enough to pose actual risk of bodily harm." It's a breaking point I have I want to explore too at some point, but in order to do so gear needs to be acquired so that my body temperature and core temperature can remotely be monitored, instead of going off my subjective experience. (Because my subjective experience is that I'm NOT OKAY in a very bad way, very quickly after I get cold ). So it's not really unexpected that I didn't get to explore everything I was planning. It's just that the eventuality that I would be able to weasel out of exploring what happens at the breaking point didn't really get planned for (cause it was assumed that me weaseling out was made impossible) and so mistakes were made once we were there.
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I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner And your whore But let me tell you something baby You love me for everything you hate me for
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