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gentlethistle -> RE: Photos (8/1/2006 1:09:56 PM)
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I'm not 'out' about my submissive side in my daily life, although a few people that I know very well online are aware of this. Even when I was in a vanilla relationship I never discussed my sex life with people that I knew offline (and that includes my partner...but that's quite another story!)
Although I wouldn't so much mind having a conversation about my preferences with someone that I know, and if it ever happened I like to think I could do so in a matter of fact, adult, and mostly unembarassed way. But I should prefer not to be bounced into it by them stumbling upon my picture in a profile. Even if it means that they're looking where it's posted...and therefore have an interest in BDSM too. Just my choice, really. Nor would I particularly want them knowing and yet deliberately not having a conversation about it. I don't think my job would be in any danger from people knowing about my lifestyle...although I suspect that some people might be unnecessarily concerned for me, perhaps.
More particularly, if I am posting a profile with my location in I think I'm not all that keen on a complete stranger in the street having the advantage on me of knowing information about me (including my sexual preferences) before we've spoken, just by recognising the pic. Even if it might only be 1 in 100,000 people I pass in the street....still just not keen. I must pass a lot of people each day in this city and the neighbouring one....eventually I might stumble upon the 100,000th one.
Even when I had profiles on vanilla dating sites I wasn't all that keen on putting up a pic, although I ocassionally did so. After all, I know damn well that I'm not sufficiently hot visually for a photo to be a particular draw, even though I realise that a lot of guys will filter out profiles without pictures, even if they wouldn't actually be disgusted by what they saw if one were there. I found that I was much more likely to get a response to my profile here at Collarme (without a picture) than I ever did at vanilla dating sites, either with or without a picture included.
However, when I was actively 'looking' (for something...who knows what) I did usually respond to a request for a picture by sending a reasonably clear, recent shot of my face, figuring that if that didn't put him off for good...then maybe nothing could!
Laura
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