RE: Are "slaves" control freaks?

RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (Full Version)

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tamaka -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/26/2017 7:42:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: NoirMetal Tamika understands things about this dynamic that seem to elude your limited grasp. It's part of the initial negotiations-not everyone wants a bossy bottom in the house. Dude you are the one complaining here about being unable to control your submissive. So I am just making sure that you don't take tameka suggestion to attempt to "break her" because you don't seem to know what you are doing. If you did, your bottom wouldn't be bossy towards you, you'd have her under control and you wouldn't be crying about your submissive trying to "dom" you over here. And I bet you don't even realise how undominant you are sounding. I've never met someone who was naturally dominant crying about being unable to get their submissive under control. Even if they aren't BDSM dominants, but just natural domineering men, they got things under control big time as they know what they are doing and what they want to achieve. There are quite a few dominant regulars on this forum alone, and you'd never see any of them complaining about being unable to control their sub. And blaming their sub for it. Lol... that's right... they keep it to themselves... lol

Greta75 -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/26/2017 7:49:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Lol... that's right... they keep it to themselves... lol No, they probably take action to communicate with their submissive directly and work towards correcting whatever bumps they are facing. They probably wouldn't be whining about it here. Actually, Tamaka, would you feel attracted to sub under OP?

tamaka -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/26/2017 8:01:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Lol... that's right... they keep it to themselves... lol No, they probably take action to communicate with their submissivei directly and work towards correcting whatever bumps they are facing. They probably wouldn't be whining about it here. Actually, Tamaka, would you feel attracted to sub under OP? This is a place for those who live in reality can come to talk about the reality they are living in the lifestyle. Much of what you have shared about yourself and your experiences make you seem like the most unattractive submissive (if you want to call yourself that) on the planet. So what? It's your reality.

NoirMetal -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/26/2017 8:02:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Lol... that's right... they keep it to themselves... lol No, they probably take action to communicate with their submissivei directly and work towards correcting whatever bumps they are facing. They probably wouldn't be whining about it here. Actually, Tamaka, would you feel attracted to sub under OP? This is a place for those who live in reality can come to talk about the reality they are living in the lifestyle. Much of what you have shared about yourself and your experiences make you seem like the most unattractive submissive (if you want to call yourself that) on the planet. So what? It's your reality. Queen of the bossy bottoms is she, Tamika. :P

tamaka -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/26/2017 8:06:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoirMetal quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Lol... that's right... they keep it to themselves... lol No, they probably take action to communicate with their submissivei directly and work towards correcting whatever bumps they are facing. They probably wouldn't be whining about it here. Actually, Tamaka, would you feel attracted to sub under OP? This is a place for those who live in reality can come to talk about the reality they are living in the lifestyle. Much of what you have shared about yourself and your experiences make you seem like the most unattractive submissive (if you want to call yourself that) on the planet. So what? It's your reality. Queen of the bossy bottoms is she, Tamika. :P I think she makes men use an ultrasound with the dildo so they can be sure to do it exactly right... lol

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/27/2017 7:50:01 AM)
quote: Queen of the bossy bottoms is she, Tamika. :P And here I was thinking I was.

Greta75 -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/27/2017 8:31:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka This is a place for those who live in reality can come to talk about the reality they are living in the lifestyle. Much of what you have shared about yourself and your experiences make you seem like the most unattractive submissive (if you want to call yourself that) on the planet. So what? It's your reality. I love how you dodged my question if you find OP an attractive dominant and would you sub under him? It doesn't matter what kind of submissive I am, because my vanilla personality is very domineering and I am often the leader in my work, and in my social activities and usually people look to me to be in charge. The one that make sure everything gets done. Someone has to give everyone directions for things to be put together. And that's me. So since I have not agreed to be anybody's sub in this site nor any of the vanilla men I enjoy casual sex with. Why should I even remotely show any submissiveness to anybody on here or actually, literally anybody who I don't consider my dominant? So don't dodge the question. So you would happily sub under OP? Try not to change the subject okay? Not everybody is happy being treated without love or be a third party in a relationship like your style of submissiveness if I am suppose to use your submissive model as like THE ROLE MODEL For submission. If you think his a great dom, why so shy to say it outright?

tamaka -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/27/2017 10:22:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka This is a place for those who live in reality can come to talk about the reality they are living in the lifestyle. Much of what you have shared about yourself and your experiences make you seem like the most unattractive submissive (if you want to call yourself that) on the planet. So what? It's your reality. I love how you dodged my question if you find OP an attractive dominant and would you sub under him? It doesn't matter what kind of submissive I am, because my vanilla personality is very domineering and I am often the leader in my work, and in my social activities and usually people look to me to be in charge. The one that make sure everything gets done. Someone has to give everyone directions for things to be put together. And that's me. So since I have not agreed to be anybody's sub in this site nor any of the vanilla men I enjoy casual sex with. Why should I even remotely show any submissiveness to anybody on here or actually, literally anybody who I don't consider my dominant? So don't dodge the question. So you would happily sub under OP? Try not to change the subject okay? Not everybody is happy being treated without love or be a third party in a relationship like your style of submissiveness if I am suppose to use your submissive model as like THE ROLE MODEL For submission. If you think his a great dom, why so shy to say it outright? You're missing the whole point Greta. He isn't trying to impress anyone with his dominance. He is asking a serious question. Yes slaves definitely can be control freaks. Do i think less of him for wanting to discuss it here on a lifestyle discussion group thread? No i don't. It's probably one of the top 'issues' that doms face.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/27/2017 10:51:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka You're missing the whole point Greta. He isn't trying to impress anyone with his dominance. He is asking a serious question. Yes slaves definitely can be control freaks. Do i think less of him for wanting to discuss it here on a lifestyle discussion group thread? No i don't. It's probably one of the top 'issues' that doms face. I agree. He, and a multitude of other people entering the lifestyle, needs to know that it's okay not be a D. Tops are usually more well rounded in kink anyway... D types do wot they do and you like it or leave it. I mean, we tend to be self indulgent and if our indulgences get your motor running then you found comparability, if not, we're not likely to change. The best way to really embrace the lifestyle is to know yourself (see sig line) and understand that it is not you're D or /s, that it's an international buffet of kinkness and wot ever your kink is (within a legal scope) rock on with your bad self, but don't be selling shit you're not, because again, wot ever you are is just fucking awesome and you don't need to be more or less.

NoirMetal -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (9/27/2017 6:40:39 PM)
And a lot of guys who are into D/s dislike vanilla women who nag and try to control every part of the fantasy they have in their heads as well. And would be better off to just not imagine a Dominant is somehow going to meet their needs-but will have a very poor time trying to meet his. Since they aren't going to be anything, but annoyed by a shrew.

ladiesmanservant -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/6/2017 4:15:30 AM)
No a real slave is not a control freak. Few though are genuine slaves and most are pretenders seeking to control the fantasy roleplay scene they are enacting to get there cocks hard.

UninhibitedDom -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/6/2017 5:05:40 AM)
I think the OP makes a valid point, albeit clumsily. For me a slave is a possition, it can't exist without a Master, as a Master can't exist without a slave. Outside a relationship it's just degrees of D and s traits. Those who self identify as slaves outside of a relationship do tend towards the needy without the requisite obdediance in my experience. Any Ms relationship not built up from a very honest and open Ds basis with communication of expectations on both sides is probably fucked from the start...cardboard cutout 'slaves' don't work.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/9/2017 7:38:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoirMetal I tend to run away from women who tell me they are. I can't be "on" as A Dom all the time, it's exhausting. And seriously-I do have other things that need my attention. The trick is to find someone who is a "slave"—only without the quotation marks around the moniker. Easier said than done, but you learn as you go, and come to know the things to look out for. Having done this for quite some time now, I know pretty early into conversation who is going to add to my pleasure and gain and who is going to become a liability more than anything else. Bottom line: slave (minus the scare quotes) aren't liabilities in your life; they are assets.

JVoV -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/10/2017 6:23:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: NoirMetal Tamika understands things about this dynamic that seem to elude your limited grasp. It's part of the initial negotiations-not everyone wants a bossy bottom in the house. Dude you are the one complaining here about being unable to control your submissive. So I am just making sure that you don't take tameka suggestion to attempt to "break her" because you don't seem to know what you are doing. If you did, your bottom wouldn't be bossy towards you, you'd have her under control and you wouldn't be crying about your submissive trying to "dom" you over here. And I bet you don't even realise how undominant you are sounding. I've never met someone who was naturally dominant crying about being unable to get their submissive under control. Even if they aren't BDSM dominants, but just natural domineering men, they got things under control big time as they know what they are doing and what they want to achieve. There are quite a few dominant regulars on this forum alone, and you'd never see any of them complaining about being unable to control their sub. And blaming their sub for it. Greta, you seem to think that he's talking about a relationship he's been in for a while. He's just talking about the initial chats, discussions, and negotiations. A lot of 'slaves' have demands and expectations that are more fantasy than reality. Sadly, most of the males on the other side seeking a Dominant male aren't reality-based to begin with. They expect to be kept at home, completely naked all the time, yet have no real domestic skills. They don't want to work and expect you to support their lazy asses. And they have a laundry list of kinks they expect you to fulfill on a daily basis, including constant surprise bareback gangbangs. Oh, and then there's the ones that want you to buy them boobs too. Ain't nobody got time fa dat. None of that is how I want my life to be, nor does it have anything to do with what I need out of a slave. There's a huge difference in 'losing control' of a relationship and not wanting to even start one with the person.

Drakvampire -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/10/2017 6:29:07 PM)
Is Greta genuine?

Drakvampire -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/10/2017 6:35:35 PM)
I would caution a wise wo-man to use etiquette with me.

NoirMetal -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/10/2017 7:33:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: NoirMetal Tamika understands things about this dynamic that seem to elude your limited grasp. It's part of the initial negotiations-not everyone wants a bossy bottom in the house. Dude you are the one complaining here about being unable to control your submissive. So I am just making sure that you don't take tameka suggestion to attempt to "break her" because you don't seem to know what you are doing. If you did, your bottom wouldn't be bossy towards you, you'd have her under control and you wouldn't be crying about your submissive trying to "dom" you over here. And I bet you don't even realise how undominant you are sounding. I've never met someone who was naturally dominant crying about being unable to get their submissive under control. Even if they aren't BDSM dominants, but just natural domineering men, they got things under control big time as they know what they are doing and what they want to achieve. There are quite a few dominant regulars on this forum alone, and you'd never see any of them complaining about being unable to control their sub. And blaming their sub for it. Greta, you seem to think that he's talking about a relationship he's been in for a while. He's just talking about the initial chats, discussions, and negotiations. A lot of 'slaves' have demands and expectations that are more fantasy than reality. Sadly, most of the males on the other side seeking a Dominant male aren't reality-based to begin with. They expect to be kept at home, completely naked all the time, yet have no real domestic skills. They don't want to work and expect you to support their lazy asses. And they have a laundry list of kinks they expect you to fulfill on a daily basis, including constant surprise bareback gangbangs. Oh, and then there's the ones that want you to buy them boobs too. Ain't nobody got time fa dat. None of that is how I want my life to be, nor does it have anything to do with what I need out of a slave. There's a huge difference in 'losing control' of a relationship and not wanting to even start one with the person. Yup.

DesFIP -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/11/2017 2:00:23 PM)
Most dommes complain about that also. But that doesn’t make someone a control freak. It makes them unrealistic fantasy based types who’ve never gone to a munch, read a thread about real life. It also doesn’t make them submissive. But hell, sub women deal with this too. So-called doms who want you to be in perfect shape yet wear 6” heels round the clock. Including the gym and the shower. Not control freaks. Just your basic porn addict who’s all about his dick.

Bhruic -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/11/2017 3:46:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: feel compelled to "fix" it so YOU will feel better. You sure you aren't dating a guy? Haha... totally. If it were a girl, she would try and ignore it so SHE feels better :)

subslavecbt -> RE: Are "slaves" control freaks? (10/17/2017 6:23:24 PM)
LOL too funny. I am a male sub and 60% of the time I don't want to feed my sub needs. LOL but I do because it brings me motivation and excitement. With that being said.. you need VM, I use a free program, virtual mistress. Or in your case Virtual master. I takes awhile to make the program what you want, since everyone has a different kink... but it will control and give issues to the sub. It will take hours (not in a row) to figure out... since we (most us) do not ever anazylse our off and on switcht to kink. But once you have to use a rules and punishments... well you have to think more than most.

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