How did you first discover you want to be a Mistress? (or are a mistress/domme)

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How did you first discover you want to be a Mistress? (... - 10/2/2017 5:52:23 AM

sadisticsienna

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2017
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/Dominant female?

I always thought of myself as more submissive yet my actual behavior in real life was not really like that.
I liked being in control and dictating things.
My fantasies, oddly, always involved me as a submissive.

Think I just kind of realized I'm just not well suited to being a submissive because I like to be in control....

Hence starting to explore being a Mistress

I like the respect and how they treat me and I like the dynamic and how I reciprocate their kindness and submissiveness. I feel it is more rewarding and enjoyable for me personally than being a submissive/slave.
Perhaps because I was not well suited to being a slave or I just deep down am a dominant.

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RE: How did you first discover you want to be a Mistres... - 10/2/2017 9:20:56 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Many dominants like to bottom. Being the authority figure is not the same as enjoying giving or receiving sensation play.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sadisticsienna)

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RE: How did you first discover you want to be a Mistres... - 10/2/2017 11:06:40 AM

sadisticsienna

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2017
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I never said it was?
Ok now I'm confused lol...

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RE: How did you first discover you want to be a Mistres... - 10/8/2017 2:16:16 PM

BlackSinMaster

Posts: 89
Joined: 11/15/2012
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do call or name anyone you can call? Name them mess

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RE: How did you first discover you want to be a Mistres... - 10/13/2017 1:12:53 PM

LadyDaemonyca

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline

Not certain where some of the replies came from, but my experience or discovery... started in the leather community at an event.

Had been entertaining ideas and whatnot through puberty through my teens (18-19), but didnt know what I really was/am until I was 29. I met someone in the community when I was 26 and after speaking with them in great length, was advised that I was to train as a submissive to get a honest understanding of what this lifestyle is and what we enjoy doing to others. Lots of time and negotiations went into place before the collaring ceremony and at one point I thought I was actually a submissive.

It was approximately 1.5yrs into my service when I was asked to top another while at an event. I was so nervous! And then extremely excited! But, over all found myself getting more enjoyment out of what I was doing to that bottom play partner (simple wax play) than I did with pleasing my then Mentor. I guess that was my Ah Ha moment.

Shortly after, I spoke with my Mentor and we re-negotiated to allow exploring my dominant tendencies. I learned so much from my Mentor and the leather community and finally found myself as who I really am within this lifestyle I love dearly. It was the best decision for me to make and just took some time to understand it.

If you are curious, you should seek and try. Find others in your local leather community that you can learn from, you never know what your true nature/calling is unless you do.

Lady Daemonyca

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: How did you first discover you want to be a Mistres... - 12/16/2017 2:08:49 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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Way back when I was in kindergarten there were a group of boys I ordered around and made eat bugs and other gross things for my amusement. They did so willingly just to please me. They sat around at my feet, brought me gifts of toys and candy and every day they competed to be my "favorite servant". I rewarded them with friendly "torture", like kidnap play or making them crawl on all fours and act like my puppy.

I thought this was NORMAL. The teachers thought I was an "unhealthy influence" on the boys and after several months they eventually moved me to a different, mostly girl, classroom.

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RE: How did you first discover you want to be a Mistres... - 12/13/2022 7:19:30 AM

Byrdie

Posts: 55
Joined: 7/14/2008
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sadisticsienna
I like the respect and how they treat me and I like the dynamic and how I reciprocate their kindness and submissiveness. I feel it is more rewarding and enjoyable for me personally than being a submissive/slave.
Perhaps because I was not well suited to being a slave or I just deep down am a dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Many dominants like to bottom. Being the authority figure is not the same as enjoying giving or receiving sensation play.

I think that some people view concepts like "respect" and "kindness" and reciprocity as not being particularly dominant, which is odd considering that there are many different archetypes of leadership in the world.

Once, during a dominant women's tea, I was tormenting the nipples of one of the servers while cooing and "poor baby"-ing him. After I let him go, a new woman looked at me with wide eyes and said, "But ... you were so nice."

It took me a moment to recover from this statement given what I'd just done to the man's chest, but I managed to find my voice.

"If you consider, how unnerving would it be for someone to sweet talk you while hurting you, especially if you couldn't get away. I think it creates a lovely imbalance. Also, [submissive guy's name] whimpers so wonderfully that cooing at him just makes sense."

(That, and yelling and barking harsh orders in the middle of such a pleasant tea would've just been rude.)

But back to your original question: I discovered during what was supposed to be a "switch weekend" with a friend that their very obvious desire to be dominated (I brought them to their knees just by talking to them in a certain tone of voice) sparked something in me that I hadn't realized I'd wanted until I had it. I loved making them blush, adored their service, enjoyed being pampered, and made it very clear when I was displeased with their behavior.

i didn't feel nearly as fulfilled when submitting or serving. I like being of help, I like being productive, and I like teaching. I don't like having my time wasted for someone else's amusement, and I don't see the point in suffering if I don't get at least an equivalent amount of pleasure out of it. It was certainly an educational set of experiences, but ... not something I craved.

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