DaddySatyr
Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
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While I believe there are some people who are lacking in the conscience department, I don't know you so, I will not assume. In fact, I will assume that you do have a conscience.
That is the foundation upon which I am going to base my answer.
At the end of the day, it's a decision you have to make, but you'll need to do some things (in my opinion) in order to come to that decision.
1) Stop seeing your pay-for-play friend.
2) Sit down and have an honest and open discussion with your wife.
3) Give your wife time to process what you tell her.
4) Make your final decision.
1) You need to "distance yourself" a bit from any influences that might drive your decision. I'm speaking, primarily about your friend, here. You're enjoying yourself immensely, right now. It could be a very temporary thing or it could be the "right" thing.
The only way you'll know for sure is if you do everything you can to make sure that your coming decision will be as objective as possible.
That's why I recommend the distance.
2) This may be the toughest part. You need to screw up the courage to speak to your wife like you speak to your close friends (if you've shared your predilection with them). I know this can be a daunting task, but it is essential . If your wife doesn't really know exactly what your needs are, you can't (in my opinion) hold her accountable for not meeting them.
Be brave. Be as kind as you possibly can without sugar-coating anything. Lay it all on the line. In my opinion, this is imperative.
One other thing: I won't presume to know anything about you so ...
IF this is about sexual activity, understand that as we age, some people lose their sex drive. hell, some ladies do so after giving birth. That doesn't make her a bad person, but it needs to be taken into account that if asking her for sex, and she feels this way, you might as well be asking her to eat a food she can't stand. It may (at this point) be an unfair demand.
Which brings us to ...
3) During this discussion, your wife might have a "gut reaction" and give voice to it. It might not be exactly how she feels, if she's given enough time to properly process the discussion.
Wait a month until she has brought it up again (of her own volition). What I mean by that is keep staying away from your friend. Keep your head clear and give your wife the benefit of a doubt.
4) Once you have what you believe to be her final response, you have to sit down and weigh all the factors (keep staying away from your friend). Examine how important it may (or may not) be for you to "have your way" in this case.
Are there children involved?
How will a dissolution affect items that are owned?
This is a HUGE step. Be sure you can make a decision that you can live with. At the end of the day, that's what it has to be about.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
I feel for you. I don't mean to be dispassionate. I have been where you are. It sucks, but I promise there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Good luck.
Peace,
Michael
Edit: I need to add this:
I believe there are people to whom this lifestyle is a need. I think for some people, dominance or submission is not a choice, but a way of life.
That also has to be one of the things you think about. If you are, at your base, a submissive person, we may not be talking about "desires", here. We may, indeed, be talking about "NEEDS"
M.P.C.
< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 11/15/2017 10:56:02 AM >
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A Stone in My Shoe
Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?
"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"
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It is not about the sex. - 
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