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WhiteWolfy -> RE: what makes a good slave? (1/25/2024 2:14:23 PM)
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It is quiet concerning how little energy some of the people who answered put in their answers ="advice". I know this post is old and most likely the person who wrote it, is long gone. I am writing this because random people will come, and read and make up their own mind (at least i hope everyone has it's own power of discernment)
What makes a good slave?
Nothing. It depends on the compatibility, the vanilla compatibility + the bdsm one. You can be the best slave ever, if you are not compatible in thinking, emotions, behavior and expectations... you will end up breaking up.
A new slave is like an empty canvas, in the hands of someone who has no idea what he is doing, it will become something hideous and in real life situation = it will become a woman full of traumas and triggers. If it is in the hands of a balanced Master, voila! It can become a piece of art, something that will inspire others.
A slave with experience, that's another story. She has to fight her own demons, putting aside everything she knows from the previous experiences and Masters in her life. The most shitty thing she fights with... are her own expectations.
Now putting aside those details, whether she is new or with experience, first thing she has to learn (sadly from experience) is about self esteem. First question any slave should have in mind is "What makes me a slave? Why am I a slave?" If the answers that come back have something to do with traumas in her past, then she is a slave to her own dramas. If the answers come back because of self esteem, talk about it, train it, best thing is realizing and then educating herself. If the answers go into the direction of "I feel like I want a man to be the leader of the house, that is what makes me feminine", well then that is the start of a healthy slave mind. If she is a strong feminist and a slave, oh well, error 404, eternal war between emotions and what has been imposed from society.
Now that we cleared the first question, she goes to the next question "How can i communicate my feelings / thoughts?" [:-] Some people can communicate better in writing, others in talking, others by doing. Both partners have to identify which type of communication suits them and communicate it verbally or written to the partner. Make sure the message has been received, make sure the communication was effective. If the subject is important, make sure you choose a good moment. When is a good moment? When you are both lazy home. How do you make sure? You ask the partner if he is ok, tell him you want to talk about something important and ask him nicely if he can have such a conversation in that moment. Don't be a drama lama if he says no. Most problems appear in relationships when both of the partners don't know how to communicate efficiently.
Next: Pride! Haha, yea, you heard me, pride is your enemy. Pride and slavery have nothing in common. If you can't make the connection, prideful people put themselves first, they rarely compliment, they wait usually to be served. Usually Masters have pride, it ain't for the slaves.
Next: Follow. After you learned the basic skill -> communication. It will come times when you have to follow. Sometimes like a mindless puppet, other times asking questions and even if you don't like the answers, you still follow. This will slowly bring you to the next stage which is called trust.
Next: Trust, well this is a tricky one, you have to trust yourself to trust him. Trust yourself that he is better than you in making decisions, in the end, you're the one who chose him right? If you don't trust your own decision of choosing a good partner, than go back to the first point and that is called self esteem [:-]
Next: Respect. This one isn't tricky at all. If you managed to read so far, this one should be the easiest thing. You respect your Master by communicating what's on your mind and heart, by following him, by trusting him. Quiet simple right?
After all these steps, both should be pretty happy and remember slavery comes from the heart, submission is not a physical thing, it is the emotional need to lose control, funny enough you earn a lot of freedom by being surrounded by safe fences.
Tips and tricks: choose wisely who you surrender yourself to. You will take his teachings seriously, you will copy him in time like a monkey, try to copy a intelligent one, or at least one smarter than you. [8|]
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