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RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 10:45:51 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Surely it's better when someone has looked at your profile and doesn't message you, rather than does look, and then messages you with inane nonsense that wastes the time of you both. What sort of deranged people are these?

Needles

I don't know .... I think, at bottom, it's about people not knowing how to transfer RT codes of behaviour to their internet equivalents. A better analogy might be: you go out walking in public, and your appearance is 'public' - other people are entitled to look at you. But if they come over and scrutinise you carefully from head to toe - that turns into an encroachment into what's more 'private' than 'public'. Our profiles here on CS are called 'public' but, well, for some, a person who has a good close read of a profile is entiering a 'private space'.

Takes all sorts!

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:01:25 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2016
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Nobody is entitled to a reply.
That said, unless somebody's messaged you with something really offensive (and I've heard a few horror stories about that) it's a lot quicker and easier to just block somebody you don't want to talk to than it is to send them a bug eyed torrent of abuse.

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RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:06:24 AM

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Surely it's better when someone has looked at your profile and doesn't message you, rather than does look, and then messages you with inane nonsense that wastes the time of you both. What sort of deranged people are these?

Needles

I don't know .... I think, at bottom, it's about people not knowing how to transfer RT codes of behaviour to their internet equivalents. A better analogy might be: you go out walking in public, and your appearance is 'public' - other people are entitled to look at you. But if they come over and scrutinise you carefully from head to toe - that turns into an encroachment into what's more 'private' than 'public'. Our profiles here on CS are called 'public' but, well, for some, a person who has a good close read of a profile is entiering a 'private space'.

Takes all sorts!

It does indeed.

I view that kind of contact etiquette as misplaced as the guys that think it's ok to send a dick pic as their opening introduction. I'm not going to get all offended that a guy checks me out some place but decides I'm really not his type, or picks up the vibe from me that I'm not interested, but I'd be pretty pissed off if a guy got his dick out in front of me. My ex playmate and I have been to a few 'play' clubs in London, but not with the intention of involving others. We've had guys and couples check us out, and approach us. Even there you have a level of manners that people seem to think don't apply online.

Mind you, I guess my profile is just never going to be that intimate, or explicate, even if I were looking, that I'd feel 'violated' that someone had viewed my profile without contacting me. Hell, I think I have a huge amount that view me already on hide

Needles

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:17:48 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

Hell, I think I have a huge amount that view me already on hide

Strewth. Yet another way in which, I suspect, it's quite different for women here.

Me, I think I *used* to be somewhat put out if someone had read my profile but not at least said 'Hello'. But I quickly realised that the sense of 'manners' I had with that was out of place. My CS profile is wholly public as far as I'm concerned, now - well, to the people who've signed up with CS, anyway.

_____________________________

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:29:26 AM

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Surely it's better when someone has looked at your profile and doesn't message you, rather than does look, and then messages you with inane nonsense that wastes the time of you both. What sort of deranged people are these?

Needles

I don't know .... I think, at bottom, it's about people not knowing how to transfer RT codes of behaviour to their internet equivalents. A better analogy might be: you go out walking in public, and your appearance is 'public' - other people are entitled to look at you. But if they come over and scrutinise you carefully from head to toe - that turns into an encroachment into what's more 'private' than 'public'. Our profiles here on CS are called 'public' but, well, for some, a person who has a good close read of a profile is entiering a 'private space'.

Takes all sorts!

It does indeed.

I view that kind of contact etiquette as misplaced as the guys that think it's ok to send a dick pic as their opening introduction. I'm not going to get all offended that a guy checks me out some place but decides I'm really not his type, or picks up the vibe from me that I'm not interested, but I'd be pretty pissed off if a guy got his dick out in front of me. My ex playmate and I have been to a few 'play' clubs in London, but not with the intention of involving others. We've had guys and couples check us out, and approach us. Even there you have a level of manners that people seem to think don't apply online.

Mind you, I guess my profile is just never going to be that intimate, or explicate, even if I were looking, that I'd feel 'violated' that someone had viewed my profile without contacting me. Hell, I think I have a huge amount that view me already on hide

Needles

I think it's because people fear that if they can see you IRL, then they can belt you one if you say any of the stuff that people seem to think blathering to people who can't retaliate makes them a manly badass on t'internet.
(Or possibly that people who can actually get into a play party, rather than being told to fuck off and find a pub full of chavs instead, have better manners than some mouthbreather who they won't let in because all he's read about the fetish scene is Bizarre's annual articles on bullshitting your way into fetish nights wearing a check shirt and jeans...)

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On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:41:24 AM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

politeness 101

Will we get to know each other better? ;) Add me, here I do not activate my profile :(

intriguing, no?
no

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RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:46:37 AM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Hell, I think I have a huge amount that view me already on hide

Strewth. Yet another way in which, I suspect, it's quite different for women here.

Me, I think I *used* to be somewhat put out if someone had read my profile but not at least said 'Hello'. But I quickly realised that the sense of 'manners' I had with that was out of place. My CS profile is wholly public as far as I'm concerned, now - well, to the people who've signed up with CS, anyway.

Uuummm, well I guess here is a slightly different thing for me. I have been a member elsewhere and on those profiles you could have private sections that only certain people could view ... either by being a friend, or through invitation only.

I don't actually recall ever opening your profile up fully, but I think I must have done once as I do remember PMing you about some such nonsense to do with a photo of yours. You didn't even open it I don't think, and I only know that from checking on something for someone else a short time afterwards. I actually never see your profile anymore on the other side. Still, I thought nothing of it, it's not like it was important, and you could have filters on for all I know, or just not want to talk to me lol That's the thing though ... Were I looking for someone, I would look at their profile in full, and check out their posting history, if that didn't float my boat I wouldn't bother contacting them. That comes from the fact that I get fed up of guys doing it to me, and I don't see it as an invasion of my privacy.

At first I had thought that maybe this was a D type response thing, but then I remember you're an s type? So that's that theory out lol

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:48:10 AM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

politeness 101

Will we get to know each other better? ;) Add me, here I do not activate my profile :(

intriguing, no?
no

Yep, I've just deleted that one too!

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:49:55 AM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Surely it's better when someone has looked at your profile and doesn't message you, rather than does look, and then messages you with inane nonsense that wastes the time of you both. What sort of deranged people are these?

Needles

I don't know .... I think, at bottom, it's about people not knowing how to transfer RT codes of behaviour to their internet equivalents. A better analogy might be: you go out walking in public, and your appearance is 'public' - other people are entitled to look at you. But if they come over and scrutinise you carefully from head to toe - that turns into an encroachment into what's more 'private' than 'public'. Our profiles here on CS are called 'public' but, well, for some, a person who has a good close read of a profile is entiering a 'private space'.

Takes all sorts!

It does indeed.

I view that kind of contact etiquette as misplaced as the guys that think it's ok to send a dick pic as their opening introduction. I'm not going to get all offended that a guy checks me out some place but decides I'm really not his type, or picks up the vibe from me that I'm not interested, but I'd be pretty pissed off if a guy got his dick out in front of me. My ex playmate and I have been to a few 'play' clubs in London, but not with the intention of involving others. We've had guys and couples check us out, and approach us. Even there you have a level of manners that people seem to think don't apply online.

Mind you, I guess my profile is just never going to be that intimate, or explicate, even if I were looking, that I'd feel 'violated' that someone had viewed my profile without contacting me. Hell, I think I have a huge amount that view me already on hide

Needles

I think it's because people fear that if they can see you IRL, then they can belt you one if you say any of the stuff that people seem to think blathering to people who can't retaliate makes them a manly badass on t'internet.
(Or possibly that people who can actually get into a play party, rather than being told to fuck off and find a pub full of chavs instead, have better manners than some mouthbreather who they won't let in because all he's read about the fetish scene is Bizarre's annual articles on bullshitting your way into fetish nights wearing a check shirt and jeans...)

Some people on here want to be seriously thankful that they haven't been stood in front of me the way they have behaved towards me. I would have flattened them!

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to WhoreMods)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 11:50:42 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I don't actually recall ever opening your profile up fully, but I think I must have done once as I do remember PMing you about some such nonsense to do with a photo of yours. You didn't even open it I don't think, and I only know that from checking on something for someone else a short time afterwards. I actually never see your profile anymore on the other side. Still, I thought nothing of it, it's not like it was important, and you could have filters on for all I know, or just not want to talk to me lol

Oh! Well, that *was* rude of me. I wouldn't have deliberately ignored a message from a friend on these forums. It might have come at a time when I was away from home and reading on my mobile - I've clicked the wrong things and somehow lost or passed by messages that way, before.

_____________________________

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 12:00:00 PM

Posts: 3315
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Hell, I think I have a huge amount that view me already on hide

Strewth. Yet another way in which, I suspect, it's quite different for women here.

Me, I think I *used* to be somewhat put out if someone had read my profile but not at least said 'Hello'. But I quickly realised that the sense of 'manners' I had with that was out of place. My CS profile is wholly public as far as I'm concerned, now - well, to the people who've signed up with CS, anyway.

I think it is more polite NOT to message someone if I’ve read their profile and know that I’m not interested in them because of what I’ve read. I’d prefer the same myself.

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(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 12:40:47 PM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

politeness 101

Will we get to know each other better? ;) Add me, here I do not activate my profile :(

intriguing, no?
no

I've had a couple of people message me to say they liked my profile (it's nothing clever, no pics and a random stream of consciousness) and then discovered that they do not keep their profile active.

I always answer because I assume they realise that I don't use CS to look for partners and I want to be polite and friendly to someone who is being decent to me because I have enjoyed exchanging messages with some fascinating people. It does however leave you feeling at a bit of a disadvantage.

If someone reads your profile and then intrudes into your mailbox, you feel that they should at least be open enough to allow you to see what they are about too.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 1:31:51 PM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

I dont have anything in my profile.
I find it less problematic
But lately, the mail is screwy as hell.
Btw, you got mail. Lol

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

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Dont Hate Love

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 1:52:42 PM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I don't actually recall ever opening your profile up fully, but I think I must have done once as I do remember PMing you about some such nonsense to do with a photo of yours. You didn't even open it I don't think, and I only know that from checking on something for someone else a short time afterwards. I actually never see your profile anymore on the other side. Still, I thought nothing of it, it's not like it was important, and you could have filters on for all I know, or just not want to talk to me lol

Oh! Well, that *was* rude of me. I wouldn't have deliberately ignored a message from a friend on these forums. It might have come at a time when I was away from home and reading on my mobile - I've clicked the wrong things and somehow lost or passed by messages that way, before.

Then I shall remember that for future reference just in case there is ever such need for me to PM you, and there not to be a reply. I shall gently prod in here to let you know

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 2:46:54 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Then I shall remember that for future reference just in case there is ever such need for me to PM you, and there not to be a reply. I shall gently prod in here to let you know

We have a deal! :-)

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 2:47:04 PM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

I dont have anything in my profile.
I find it less problematic
But lately, the mail is screwy as hell.
Btw, you got mail. Lol

Even the quality of spamming even seems to have declined.

There also seems to be a minor infection of random "males" messaging that they don't have a profile but you can respond on a shortened url.

Not even an attempt to work out what sex they may have to be to get you to answer, if indeed you are gullible enough to take the risk of responding.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 3:02:00 PM

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

politeness 101

Will we get to know each other better? ;) Add me, here I do not activate my profile :(

intriguing, no?
no

Yep, I've just deleted that one too!

Needles

Just got it myself.

(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/8/2017 6:59:54 AM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

politeness 101

Will we get to know each other better? ;) Add me, here I do not activate my profile :(

intriguing, no?
no

Yep, I've just deleted that one too!

Needles

Just got it myself.

Wow, now aren't we all feeling special

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to Wayward5oul)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/8/2017 8:30:36 AM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

I do have some advice for you... We all have the same power over our lives. If you allow someone to get under your skin you are diminishing your power and giving it to them. Just know yourself and your worth and ignore those that would try to take some from you. You are who you are... if someone does not like that don't give them the satisfaction of believing they have reduced you.

Butch

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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to johnsk)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/8/2017 9:36:57 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
Yep, I've just deleted that one too!

Needles

quote:

Just got it myself.

I don't want to jump the gun.

Are you ladies saying the OP started this thread in the attempt to start contacting women who responded?

Dang good thing I blocked the OP some time ago.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to Wayward5oul)

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