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the midlife transition - 12/20/2017 3:42:46 PM

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while there will always be the younger set that keep the kink path going, the reality is that many are finding the path after midlife; perhaps from a divorce or boredom.

It is sometime painful to see the results of misconception and learning errors occur as these folks are met with mirth and sometimes mean spirits instead of guidance.Might it be a possibly workable effort to establis a chat room for beginners and some of the wise serious folks volunteer for mod duty??

Just a thought.

CP

RE: the midlife transition - 12/20/2017 8:58:33 PM

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I don't really agree with this.

I was into BDSM since a kid. But I never seriously actively pursued BDSM that heavily till after my divorce to a vanilla marriage.

Because as a kid, I figured, I am gonna teach a man BDSM, and how could any man not like it?

Especially when I am a submissive and he is gonna "Da Boss".

But I learn, yes, there are men who hates it. Like my ex-husband. As my ex-husband fell inlove with my vanilla personality which is very strong willed, and always want to be the decision maker. And he didn't like this other side of me that wanted him to lead.

So only after marriage, did I start pursuing BDSM more heavily. But it's not on a wimp. Just through life experience that you couldn't teach a man what to be what you would enjoy him to be.

It's because prior to marriage, I always believed I couldn't believe a man would reject his wife wanting to be his sex slave right?

I think whether this happen from mid life or young. And like learning anything. They just gotta trust and be confident of themselves of what they are into, and not worry about what the "old timers" think. As anybody who says BDSM can only occur in a CERTAIN WAY should not even be taken seriously. And that person is probably full of shit despite his 20 or 30 years of "experience". People should just start seeing it as a red flag.

And mean people are red flags period. For vanilla or BDSM. Even people into extreme Sadism can be the nicest people in the world, because they are cognizant that being a sadist doesn't mean they gotta be an asshole 24/7 to people who are not masochist.

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/20/2017 9:16:46 PM

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I'm really not so certain this can even be considered a BDSM site anymore.

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 5:03:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker

I'm really not so certain this can even be considered a BDSM site anymore.

There's still the Gorean forum.

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 11:08:45 AM

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Not sure if I agree with the OPs statement. I have been into BDSM since I was in my early 20's. I am sure that people get bored as life goes and they look for a new outlet. This is often known as the midlife crisis. Some people discover BDSM at that point, some people discover a new zest for life via a new hobby or other venture. But I think it is not where the majority of BDSMers come from. Maybe only in Catholic towns LOL!

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 12:10:23 PM

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I'm curious why you didn't put this in the forum that is for questions related to chat rooms.

Personally, I'm not big on the 'chat' method of education. These days, anybody who wants to learn about kink has a plethora of online articles at their disposal, who knows how many kink related groups that do in-person educational presentations, books that have been in print for decades, youtube videos, and I've lost count of how many multiple day events that can be found in the USA, the UK, and Canada. I tend to think most people on the site can do a little investment on their part by doing some research for their own kink education.

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:28:11 PM

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doog

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:32:46 PM

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:36:27 PM

Masteryoungsir21

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:38:30 PM

Masteryoungsir21

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:39:49 PM

Masteryoungsir21

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Adult Dating click here!

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:40:37 PM

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Quit posting spam you ASSHOLE

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8 - 12/21/2017 2:43:08 PM

Masteryoungsir21

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Adult Dating - click here!

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the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 2:49:25 PM

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No one cares about your sorry black ass

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 3:08:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
It is sometime painful to see the results of misconception and learning errors occur as these folks are met with mirth and sometimes mean spirits instead of guidance.

New people who come here with genuine questions and who pay attention to the forum headings/rules are treated perfectly well. Unfortunately, people new to the board don't have any respect for the rules, much less what forum to post in. Getting roasted for that may not be the nicest thing, but neither is walking into a new friend's house and shitting on the rug. The mean spirits are about that, not that a newbie has questions.

Personally, I don't understand why someone new new would post straight off. I lurked for a long time before I posted anything. There are thousands of topics over the decade+ collarchat has been here that are searchable. The answer to a question 10 years ago will still hold true today. Which is not to say that new people shouldn't post questions - they should! so long as they just pay attention to where they are and not expect us all to lavish loving attentions upon them because they are finally here.

And frankly, most the people posting in the forum for the first time are 1) asking if everyone on the other side is a scammer or fake, 2) warning people not to send money to people they haven't met because they were a poor little victim, or 3) wondering why their profile hasn't attracted the perfect Domme yet when they signed up last week.

You don't walk into a new bar and expect all the regulars to get up and treat you like a king because you finally walked through the door. People coming in at the 101 level need to pay attention to how the house is run, and that's true everywhere. That they are newly aware and excited doesn't change that.

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 3:12:16 PM

Masteryoungsir21

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Adult Dating - click here!

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/21/2017 3:18:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

while there will always be the younger set that keep the kink path going, the reality is that many are finding the path after midlife; perhaps from a divorce or boredom.

And this reeks with entitlement. It's a pretty classic mindset from a white baby boomer male. Everyone shits on the millennials, but it's the mid-life+ crowd that expects us to roll out the carpet for their expectations because they feel sad. Flame me for this, I don't care. I'm pretty sure everyone under 40 (in my case, 37) knows exactly what I'm talking about, especially the women. Hell, women of middle-age probably understand, too!

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RE: 8 - 12/22/2017 3:04:41 AM

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Dimwit Dating click here
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RE: the midlife transition - 12/22/2017 4:47:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

while there will always be the younger set that keep the kink path going, the reality is that many are finding the path after midlife; perhaps from a divorce or boredom.

It is sometime painful to see the results of misconception and learning errors occur as these folks are met with mirth and sometimes mean spirits instead of guidance.Might it be a possibly workable effort to establis a chat room for beginners and some of the wise serious folks volunteer for mod duty??

Just a thought.

CP

Any influx of clueless middle aged newbies probably has a lot more to do with the target market for EL James' shitty Twilight fanfic being ladies of a certain age who've got a bit curious after reading her drivel than it does with people not realising that they're into BDSM before they hit forty.

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RE: the midlife transition - 12/22/2017 8:06:20 AM

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Just post a group name and rules. Times.

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