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longwayhome -> RE: The poison of literature... (12/29/2017 5:46:01 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
OP, you do realize that for some people, there is no "goal" about it? There are certain people who fantasize about kink and that's all they'll ever want to do is fantasize about it. Crud, there are a good percentage of folks who only jump on the site during the holidays because they think BDSM sounds like fun to think about or talk about and that's all they really want to do. Are the folks who aren't willing to engage in a physical sense disrupting your ability to engage in kink?
Seriously, (and this is funny as hell coming from me) can the condescending attitude. You're not better than anybody else just because you're actively engaged in kink and other people just want to fantasize about it. As long as the fantasists aren't bothering you, I don't understand your issue.
I'd second that.
There are so many people doing so many things that looking down on others who seem less "serious" than you just because they exist seems a bit of a waste of energy to me.
Everyone has fantasies of one sort or another. There have been a number of threads on this, some on the judgemental side but occasionally there is a thoughtful discussion on the relationship between fantasy and reality and fantasists and realists. Some of the porn cliches seem a bit unrealistic to me as does some literature but then, despite having lots of real life experiences, I have to admit that I have the odd fantasy that is unrealistic for any combination of too risky, not having the physical fortitude or attributes or just because as a set up it would lose its appeal (in other words if there more than a hint of "do-me" or "do-it-this-way" as a sub the whole dynamic and frisson collapses a bit).
In practice I find myself as alienated by people who claim that if you don't live it properly you are not a twue Dom(me) or sub, because what "living it" means is different to different people. Besides which, taking it to an extreme, the people who scoff that only twue slavery without limits or release is the real deal and condemn everyone else as actors might suddenly discover their limits if they had a finger removed every day for real. A lifestyle with clear limits and non D/s space is not necessarily less real. My family and my ability to hold down a decent job is my own business whatever a partner of any description might think of our relationship dynamic, unless they choose to support me with either or both.
BDSM isn't an exclusive club that the cognoscenti have entry rights on. If people have unrealistic fantasies and bump up against those who participate in a more direct way, they can decide whether those realities attract them. If not they are not going to hang around for very long.
Sports clubs have people who participate, people who spectate and people who do both. There are also those who fancy the idea and come along once or twice. They either turn into one of the former groups or they lose interest and bugger off. Occasionally watching athletics on a TV screen is very different to being part of club or taking a serious interest. Some people however end up fully involved in the sport having initially watched the pale reflection on TV.
50 Shades is a very pale reflection and very different to participation. Some people always know they are kinky, some realise it more slowly or have their interest piqued by an external influence.
Ho hum - live and let live.
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