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What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 3:06:19 AM   
ErosandAphrodite


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We've spent many hours chatting with a sub. There have been lengthy responses to questions. They would like to meet us in a public place the first time. We all seem to be on the same page. Here's the problem and question-

No pics... We're not asking for nudes we're not even asking for identifying pics. Just something that shows that she's a real person.

Any ideas or input.....
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 4:09:12 AM   
Focus50


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From: Newcastle, Australia
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The possibilities are almost endless. Fortunately, I'm in a nit-picky mood.... :))

Communication? Your (precise) opening question here is, "What is they are end game?". Maybe you did a lot better with those "lengthy responses to questions", but I'm not confident....

Communication II? You want pics, though you're not asking for "identifying pics"? Sooo..., a sunset? A chook shed? Boat? Something semi personal, like a big toe?

Lol, I can screw around here all night but I'm gonna let that one slide about what you think "real person" evidence constitutes. So seriously, welcome to online BDSM, where attempting to inject real life into what for many is just a kink fantasy makes for the coldest of cold feet.

Slow learner myself, so I (finally) don't indulge in email marathons anymore. It's a subjective thing. I'm not pushy (IMO) but the closer a prospect lives to me, the shorter attention span I have re a simple, vanilla, public place meet is concerned.

Harden up, brush it off and overall, expect a lot more misses than hits.

Focus.


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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to ErosandAphrodite)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 4:54:12 AM   
needlesandpins


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Your last thread, the fact that you think ReMakeYou's response to the OP on outing a potential 14 year old on a BDSM site was 'awesome' and now this post, tells me you need to take your computer back to the store, and disconnect all your internet connections. You obviously don't have people skills.

Needles

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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 6:37:19 AM   
LadyPact


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Any question that is a variation of 'why is person X doing (or not doing) Y?' that you ask to other people is only going to get you other people's best guesses. Nobody can tell you the motivations of person X except person X.

For something like this, like Level said, there are a number of possibilities, and since nobody who can respond here knows much of anything about the conversation leading up to the request, there's even less to work with. We have no idea if the request sounded pushy, if it was too soon in the mind of the other person, how much of a hassle it would be, and a bunch of other details. To me, chatting for several hours would not be an ok timeline, even if we were discussing my criteria for potentially meeting someone.

Let's give you the benefit of the doubt. During this conversation, you were very specific about it being a clothed picture with the face blurred out (such as with Windows Paint, like you have in your avatar) along with any scars or tattoos the person might have (you did say identifiable and that's part of that) and you asked for it to be sent via the site and not something dumb like an off-site mail or to your cell. There's still a bunch of reasons that I personally wouldn't be willing to jump up and do that depending on what time it is, how I was dressed, or do I have a picture already on file on my computer in an outfit that I've never used anywhere before so I wouldn't have to worry that the clothes would give me away... Do you see where I'm going with this?

Even at that, let's say the stars align, I have the perfect situation to meet the request, I'm actually willing to do so, and I intend on doing it, there's still an issue. Most people who only use the personals (mail) and chat functions of the site aren't aware there's an issue with attaching pics to messages and aren't aware of the specific way some people have had to use to make it work. There are threads about this in the Perv to Perv assistance section. If the person doesn't know how to get around the issue, she may not be able to do it.

One last note. If it were me that was the person who was involved in this chat, and you came to the forums to ask strangers about anything to do with discussions we were having in private, and hadn't asked me first if it was ok with me, I'd probably be done. It would make me uncomfortable to think or wonder what else you would be soliciting public opinions about, especially if I haven't even met you in person yet. There are just way too many couples out there that want to find an additional person to have some fun with that I don't have to deal with people who make me feel sketchy.




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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to needlesandpins)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 8:02:24 AM   
DocStrange


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I am a little confused here. You are asking for a pic so you know the she is a real person. But you just said you spent many hours chatting with her? Did you spend many hours typing to her? Or did you spend many hours actually talking to her on the phone? I would hope you could tell the person is a real female via a phone call.

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(in reply to ErosandAphrodite)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 8:16:07 AM   
ResidentSadist


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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Who's request is it that there are no pics. yours or theirs?

How are you supposed to recognize each other in a public place if you don't know what each other looks like? You gonna' wear a yellow ribbon or what? If you have gotten to the point you agreed to meet up, you're gonna' know what each other looks like real soon. So your identities, your image, will be known and you lose anonymity at that point. So why no pics? Seems an odd situation to me.

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I give good thread.


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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 9:56:11 AM   
ErosandAphrodite


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Needlesandpins,
Look back at ReMakeYou's response. This time with your bifocals on. I believe he was trying to say DON'T out them to predators.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 10:58:16 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
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Yeah, maybe to start with, a little, but then actually went on to say that the op had responded from a place of shock, and that the '14 year old' was most likely a scammer with a 'daddy' most likely waiting to scam men out of money for trying to pick her up. He also said that the rest of us had unnecessarily dog-piled on him for outing her, and that actually he was to be credited for not trying to pick her up after she'd said she was 14. I don't know what the fuck you read, but it's obviously not the same thread I read, and I didn't need glasses, or reading comprehension lessons to see that his last post was very uncalled for. Regardless of the actual facts of the person that OP had been communicating with, you do not name and shame in the forum, it's against the rules, and you don't out a suspected minor. Nor, if you are a decent person, do you make excuses up for someone that does.

Go ahead though, and justify that to yourself if you must.

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 12:28:59 PM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
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FR

Hours of conversation, then demands for pics. It sounds like you’re a fantasist and time waster.

Here, we tell people when the next munch is and that we’ll save them a seat. They walk in and see most people in a tight group and someone else guarding an empty seat. Walk over, ask if you’re ErosandAphrodite, sit down if it’s a yes. But by demanding a body pic, since a blurred face pic won’t show you anything, tells me you’re looking for an unpaid prostitute, not a friend, not a lover. Just someone who will fulfill your fantasies and to hell with what she needs.

Folks, you aren’t ready to open this relationship. Because you haven’t bothered to learn the first thing about poly.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 6:57:49 PM   
NoirMetal


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Op......Unicorns are rare, due to people like you.

Try to keep in mind that women are not just a commodity for you to stick your dick in.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQeNASx7ksM

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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 10:12:04 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

Op......Unicorns are rare, due to people like you.

Try to keep in mind that women are not just a commodity for you to stick your dick in.


That's right....we are special creatures

(in reply to NoirMetal)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/6/2018 11:14:58 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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Anybody real which I have hooked up or became friends with. They have volunteered pictures without me asking or trying to pull their teeth for them.

Also all the conversations were real authentic ones. Be it trashy, intelligent or whatever else. People which are genuine will own who and what they are in life, and that's more than being an mere label of submissive, slave, Dominant..(you get the idea).

I don't know what kind of conversations you have had with this submissive. If it's just been you guys asking questions and them responding. You need to stop and think about if you guys have been asked questions or not? One mistake to make is over volunteering to much information. Instead of letting them ask you questions about things.

One thing I do, is toss out pictures of myself early on in the game. I see if they naturally reciprocate or not. However, if they seem to avoid reciprocating right away. I just say, OK now you have seen some pictures of me, what do you look like? Really that simple. Anybody which does not have clothed pictures or pictures they are willing to share is rather stunning these days. Since Most Mobile devices, laptops, tablets and all have built in cameras.

Just come out right and ask them to share a couple of pictures, if they don't, then deal with the disappointment of it. I just tell it like it is, in a polite way. This is not an unrealistic nor some crazy off the wall request.

Me, I always own up to being a bit of a shallow bastard anyways. Physical appearance is important to me. I don't care if they think I'm an asshole or not. I want pictures please. I want to see what the other person I'm dealing with looks like. Otherwise, it's risks truly turning into a waste of time.

Big Bad mean Dominant shared some clothed pictures and wants me to share some similar pictures of myself. LOL Really? Really? think about this.. just think about it.

(in reply to ErosandAphrodite)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/7/2018 4:30:25 AM   
WhoreMods


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FR:
Their end game is difficult. Very, very difficult. We're talking the final boss in Rogue Galaxy or the last fight with Gannondorf at the end of A Link To The Past.

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On the level and looking for a square deal.

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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/7/2018 7:39:01 AM   
NoirMetal


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Thats right.

On the Venn diagram-one end is straight-jacket bonkers.

The other end being terminally conventional.



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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/7/2018 9:23:43 AM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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FR
I have never asked for pictures or sent pictures. And I have no problem meeting folks from online who are real.

I can just tell by the conversations we have. And it's always 100% accurate. I never get a no show ever.

We usually plan to meet at anywhere where we can make a reservation, so that we will be sent to the same table.

That's how you meet without knowing how each other look like.

And I honestly always don't want to know how the man looks like until I meet him in real life.

Reason is.

1) Men always send bullshit 10 years younger photos of themselves
2) I don't want to judge him by his looks, I want to know him as a person first. If I hate his picture, I will have preconceive notion already and it could end just right there. And I could miss out on someone who I may really like character wise.

Ya know I have been meeting men from online since a teenager, and not once did we ever exchange photos. Because I never wanted it. And I always get to meet genuine men who turn up because it's like seriously impossible not know if someone is real. The conversations says everything. If they are dodgy, you'd know from the conversation already. Because, bullshit people who are just messing around aren't capable of deep and meaningful conversations. It will get less entertaining for them to keep up. Ask them very personal questions. Not about sex, but beyond.

And I think it's extremely unreasonable to demand pictures from strangers. Because with all the "catfish" things going on these days. Where people take your pic and to commit fraud on others.

How can ya all feel comfortable sending your pictures to strangers from online.

I never would.

And men who are shallow who needs pictures first, are probably not my kind of man anyway. That eliminates.

(in reply to NoirMetal)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/7/2018 7:39:34 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

FR
I have never asked for pictures or sent pictures. And I have no problem meeting folks from online who are real.

I can just tell by the conversations we have. And it's always 100% accurate. I never get a no show ever.

We usually plan to meet at anywhere where we can make a reservation, so that we will be sent to the same table.

That's how you meet without knowing how each other look like.

And I honestly always don't want to know how the man looks like until I meet him in real life.

Reason is.

1) Men always send bullshit 10 years younger photos of themselves
2) I don't want to judge him by his looks, I want to know him as a person first. If I hate his picture, I will have preconceive notion already and it could end just right there. And I could miss out on someone who I may really like character wise.

Ya know I have been meeting men from online since a teenager, and not once did we ever exchange photos. Because I never wanted it. And I always get to meet genuine men who turn up because it's like seriously impossible not know if someone is real. The conversations says everything. If they are dodgy, you'd know from the conversation already. Because, bullshit people who are just messing around aren't capable of deep and meaningful conversations. It will get less entertaining for them to keep up. Ask them very personal questions. Not about sex, but beyond.

And I think it's extremely unreasonable to demand pictures from strangers. Because with all the "catfish" things going on these days. Where people take your pic and to commit fraud on others.

How can ya all feel comfortable sending your pictures to strangers from online.

I never would.

And men who are shallow who needs pictures first, are probably not my kind of man anyway. That eliminates.


Greta,

This is an interesting perspective. What's funny is that I actually do look 10+ years younger than I am. It throws people off in the real time all the time. Whenever I share pictures of myself, I make it a point to stress this too. Some seem pretty stunned that I'm not some fat, ugly looking guy. Although I don't think I'm all that in the looks department. I have always considered myself as average looking. But I can see where somebody might think I'm full of shit and believe I actually am sharing 10 year old pictures. LOL.

You are dead right about conversations saying everything. What you wrote applies to women too, if they are dodgy and can't have deep and meaningful conversations. I try to look for those which take ownership of who and what they are. I have no problem talking trashy and all that, but also look for more deep and meaningful exchanges in the mix of things. The same with extremely deep and serious conversations. I look for other things, like humor, or emotional depth.

Now, about these "catfish" types. Sadly, I have got mixed up with some here. They passed off photo's of somebody else. Then we ended up moving into phone conversations. The sad part is that I'm exceptionally easy to talk with, and sooner or later they out themselves by accidentally telling the truth. I had one which freaked out as soon as she realized what had happened. She ended up throwing her cell phone across the room and screaming. There's this mantra I have "Sooner or later the truth comes out, always does".

Ok, I had one "catfish", she lifted her sisters life and sister's lifestory to spoon feed me with. Now, that was mind blowing. What was sad, is that I found this out when I ended up dealing with her sister on the end of the cell phone one day. Having an indepth conversation about things. The girl I had been dealing with (her sister) was recovering drug addict and totally relapsed and went off the deep end of things. But this is just another of many stories of so called damn "catfish".

I have my own share of stories from things online. I actually used to own and run a massive BBS system back in the day. Adult content and more on it. Sure enough got in more than my share of "hot chat" and phone sex and more. I'm a womanizer of sorts. I don't always move on anything either. Personality and how well things click. Plus I get different or have gotten different things from women. Be it friendships, Sexual, to more emotional/mental things. I'm rather complicated because While I'm highly sexual, have a sadistic side, into humiliation and degrading women, I also have a Daddy Dom side. The funny part is that I don't hate women, but I'm into sexual objectification which makes me a borderline misogynistic type of guy in a certain sense. So physical appearance does matter to me for relationship material. I need to be sexually attracted to them for anything real up close and all that. I actually had some issues, with not seeing pictures first, then meeting and I was the one going on recoil mode. It was not fair to them, nor myself.










(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/7/2018 8:21:39 PM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
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That’s fair. But you should be telling them this so they can decide if they want to move forwards or not.

You’re allowed to need what you need.and they’re allowed to decide that you aren’t compatible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/7/2018 9:31:12 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You’re allowed to need what you need.and they’re allowed to decide that you aren’t compatible.


You nailed it. Although some people are afraid to place their needs above the risk of loosing out on what they desire. Needs verses desires internal battle.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/9/2018 3:31:49 AM   
longwayhome


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Joined: 1/9/2008
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You can't tell what the end game is from the sketchy information you have given.

I get the desire to check that someone is real, but there is also a difference between someone seeing your face and providing a picture.

Most people are concerned that people don't want to meet up or are so evasive it suggests a problem with their story, but this person wants to meet. The question for me would be whether it is too much trouble to meet them, and how often you have been stung by no shows. If you want to avoid the possibility of wasting your time or investing money if you need to travel don't do it.

Otherwise all this person is saying is that they want to meet so don't mind you seeing their face, but they don't want to provide you with documentary evidence. That doesn't suggest any problem with an end game - just that they are ultra-cautious. Given my line of work and the fact that I have only "come out" when I really trust people, I get that.

(in reply to ErosandAphrodite)
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RE: What's they're end game? - 1/9/2018 2:54:04 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


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Go have coffee and see if they show up.

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