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Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/2/2006 7:42:37 PM

BenignPlague

Posts: 52
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

It seems that younger females do not have any trouble finding older male dominants eager to train fresh interest and mold them as they see fit.

However, as polite and well-written as I can be, I seem to never get responses from older (over 30.... not old, just older than me :) ) dommes. Is it perhaps that I am switch, and they are afraid I am a bad investment? or because I have little to offer in the area of material pampering?

Just looking for your takes on it.

Thanks for reading

Adam

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RE: Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/2/2006 8:16:27 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Without knowing how you are approaching the Ladies you are interested in, it's hard to comment on that area. If you're not a total boob, then probably the thing you have working against you is your age. Sad, but true. Most people are just not going to accept you really know anything about things you played around with as a teenager. Most also don't feel you have any real world experience under your belt at the age of 20. This makes them see you as a flight risk and, believe me, it's a pain in the ass to invest a lot of time in someone who is a high flight risk.
Other things:
1) you make it clear that your submission is temporary and most Dominant woman want something more than a play partner.
2) It can be seen as bad taste to post a picture of you with one woman (even if her face it blotted out) while you are trying to find another.
3) you don't state anything about what you bring, service-wise, to a relationships. What's she going to get out of it besides a meet and beat? you need to add that and be willing to do it because there are a million other meet and beats out there.

Master Fire

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RE: Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/3/2006 6:25:42 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
1) you make it clear that your submission is temporary and most Dominant woman want something more than a play partner.
2) It can be seen as bad taste to post a picture of you with one woman (even if her face it blotted out) while you are trying to find another.
3) you don't state anything about what you bring, service-wise, to a relationships. What's she going to get out of it besides a meet and beat? you need to add that and be willing to do it because there are a million other meet and beats out there.

All three of these would surely dissuade me from writing to or replying to a gentleman!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/3/2006 8:11:49 AM

MyNameisMaam

Posts: 57
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

Young is ok - as long as they don't act like they just graduated from high school! There is something to be said for a well-mannered, mature man who knows what he wants, what he likes, and how to use intelligent charm over biceps.

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RE: Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/3/2006 8:29:09 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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As someone over 30 let me also point out that for many of us, life is different post 20 then it was before. Many of us have dependents, houses, careers or are working toward a career. We cannot just travel about or move suddenly so your location may be playing a huge factor.

See, I get emails from really nice men from Greece, from California, from Mexico, from you name it but it isn't within a few hours of me. It doesn't matter if they are a switch or not, what matters is distance.

While I'm not fully settled yet (have to get tenure first) I am fairly settled. Anyone wanting to join me and mine is joining us, not me joining him/her. Likewise since I am semi-settled I'm not looking for casual partners anymore nor am I looking for a few times a year or online stuff.

Instead of asking if its about you being a switch, consider where the women live and how realistic it would be for you to join their lives on their terms. Of course you have to get in the door first to learn what their terms are but in general for us "older women" consider location a primary concern and then having a relatively stable life the secondary concern.

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RE: Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/3/2006 8:58:37 AM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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While I like switches as friends, overall I'm disinclined to want to own one, regardless of age. (As someone recently found out.) The same with younger submissives. Both just a personal preference.

But part of your problem may be that your profile gives the impression that you identify primarily as Dom, (not that there's anything wrong with that.

) and only want to act submissive for the occasional "vacation." As a lifestyle Domme, I require more of a "buy in" than that.

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RE: Young switches for mature mistresses: impossible? - 8/3/2006 5:35:04 PM

BenignPlague

Posts: 52
Joined: 5/10/2005
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Master Fire Maam

Thank you for the clarity about the photos. In my mind, they were photos of me and friends, male or female doesn't matter, but I see how they can be interpreted as confusing. I don't often take photos of just myself: I'm either with people I want to remember, or in a place I want to remember...

As far as my age being the primary factor working against me, I can understand the perception that I would be a flight risk. However, just as a Mistress wouldn't want to invest time into a sub or slave not planning on staying around for a while, I wouldn't want to spend my time in like manner with a dominant. The idea that I would be a flight risk, while perhaps based on my economic and academic instability, fails to take into account one major aspect of my character: that I have been searching for over a year for a dominant I can call my own, establishing my credibility within the community, and networking friendships and acquaintances all over the northeast. I am doing my own investment too.

But often it seems that people I talk to expect me to bend over backwards for perfect strangers, even in the tone of initial meetings. Yes I will be early, yes I will dress nicely, it is even likely I will bring some form of flower, because personally, I like getting them, and know many people do too. To make demands though, sending nude photos, answering questions that would have taken moments as they are in my profile.... it seems like we (subs) are expected to be automatically undeserving of dominants...

I can't even count how many profiles I've hidden addressing men as scum, maggots, what have you... a click and they are gone. Am I missing something?

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