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Why? - 8/5/2006 8:59:19 AM   
TNbear


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		Why is it that you send someone an email they read it, but do not respond back.  I like to think that we are all adult here and can handle someone saying that they are not interested.  Is it really that big of a deal?

Bear
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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:02:10 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		You would think that most of us are adults....but really most of us aren't....

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to TNbear)
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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:13:26 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNbear

Why is it that you send someone an email they read it, but do not respond back.  I like to think that we are all adult here and can handle someone saying that they are not interested.  Is it really that big of a deal?

Bear


This has asked many times during my short time in CM.....along with the * Why do people send me mail I don't want?* type of question.

The complete bottom line is that no-one can know why someone does not respond to a particular mail.

Here are a few personal ones....

I receive more mails than I have time to reply to.
I don't feel obliged to reply to any mails.
Some mails just say * *wanna talk?*..and I don't.
I'm a little lazy, sometimes.


agirl



(in reply to TNbear)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:14:15 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		I hear ya!  I just quit trying to contact anyone anymore...unless it may be just a response for whatever reason. My profile is around a few places...if they like what they read...they can contact me if they choose? Too much time wasted trying to write a good response(imho) for no reply.......

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:15:28 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Hey bear, welcome to the forums.

Gosh it has been weeks since we had one of these. Sometimes it is only days between people writting a 'people don't write back' thread. Common complaint.

I'm sure someone like LA will be along to link to some of the old ones but to point out a couple of reasons.

Firstly. Have you any idea what sort of volume of mail some of the young ladys get? A damn site more in general than the Males her get and many simply don't have time to reply individualy to each and every one.

Also, whilst you and I might take a polite rejection with a shrug and move on, we appear to be in the minority. All to many assholes out there take it is a signal to try and either argue for why they should be some sort of exception and be 'given a chance' OR get offensive in responce to the rejection that no matter how polite has bruised their fragile ego. Many find it easier to simply not reply at all.

Also you maybe caught in the bulk mail folder (And not even read)

Many many more reasons besides these have been raised in many many such threads. But baseline, they have their reasons, they are under no obligation to reply and if you get no reply just accept it as a rejection and move on.

HTH


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to TNbear)
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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:16:55 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Hi TNBear,
First, welcome to the boards :)
 
I don't think that whether we are are adult or not has anything to do with it. I try to answer all of my mail, even if it is just a quick "Hello back, I'm am not interested at this time". But, those types of responses seems to encourage even more mail from the person I just told I was not interested in, followed by an angry letter calling me names because I showed a lack of interest. <Shrug> Adult attitude? No, but an ego buster? For sure. I am not here to boost anyones ego up nor am I here to tear it down. I am here for my own reasons, some of which I share with others, some I don't. I don't have to sit through a telemarketing call and I most certainly do not have to open some piece of trash mail I got in my mailbox out in front of my house either. My best advice to you is, just move on and hopefully you will catch the eye of someone who DOES want to respond to you :)

_____________________________





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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:21:18 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Here's my take on the all important e-mail question.  i do not get TONS of e-mail, but when i do... if that person is from tim-buck-two or married or poly... when my profile is very clear that i will not relocate, will not do an o/l relationship, i am not poly and i am not interested having a relationship with someone who is married or otherwise 'spoken' for... they will more than likely not ever get a response from me because either a) they didn't bother reading my profile; b) they think i'm joking; or (my favorite) c) they think they can 'change my mind'. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:21:58 AM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		The other day I had a message from someone and I was simply too exhausted from the responsibilities of my day to formulate a decent response. In fact, every time I thought about it for the next couple of days it gave me a heavy physcial feeling, as though trying to summon the words in my head were sapping all the energy I had. I got around to it, eventually, but not before I got a sneering message from the same person telling me what a jerk I was for reading and not responding. It was all right - such attitudes make the decisions easier.

And then ... I suspect that not everyone cares to send a "thanks but no thanks" if they are not interested. If someone you think you might like to get to know doesn't respond, I have only one piece of advice for you:

NEXT!!!!

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:31:14 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNbear

Why is it that you send someone an email they read it, but do not respond back.  I like to think that we are all adult here and can handle someone saying that they are not interested.  Is it really that big of a deal?

Bear


Why is it that when I recieve junk mail I don't respond back?  I like to thing that we are all adults here and can handle when someone doesn't respond back and say they are not interested.  Is it really that big of a deal? 

Wouldn't it just be safe to assume that if they don't respond back... that they are not interested!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:33:42 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

 

Why is it that you send someone an email they read it, but do not respond back?



Why should they?  What do they have to gain?  If they don't respond, you already know they are not interested.  Done.

If they reply, they are leaving an avenue open for further conversation - "why not" and such.  Apparently this happens often enough.

And at the end of the day, do you send a friendly reply for every junk mail flyer you get in your daily snail mail?  There is no reason they owe you a reply, so stop bitching, deal with it, and go on with life.

Yours,


benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to TNbear)
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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:39:30 AM   
TNbear


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone for you comments.  It makes things a little clearer now to hear someone elses point of view.  i really do not let it stress me too much, but at the same time i would appreciate some sort of respones.  However that is not how the world works and like it or not, we are all in it. 

Again, thank everyone for you comments.  It is greatly appreciated.

Bear

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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:49:52 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNbear

Thank you everyone for you comments.  It makes things a little clearer now to hear someone elses point of view.  i really do not let it stress me too much, but at the same time i would appreciate some sort of respones.  However that is not how the world works and like it or not, we are all in it. 

Again, thank everyone for you comments.  It is greatly appreciated.

Bear

No response IS a response. 

You are not owed a response when you email a complete stranger, there is no etiquette rule regarding that.  Especially if you are emailing someone about something she would NEVER be interested in, a response might be a signal that she'd consider it- which isn't true.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 9:59:14 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		Welcome to the boards.  You'll find a lot of us here in Your area, i can count about 9 Nashvillers active on the CM boards, and know of a few more that use the chat rooms.  

i like Your attitude that accepts the answers, frankly, most of these posts get progressively snittier over the answers than over the lack of mail.  You'll do just fine here.

~Mavis

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 10:07:02 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Tnbear..just remember that it does not only happen to you the Dominant but also to submissives as well.In fact,sometimes embarrassingly enough I take a wee brave pill and e-mail a Dominant (always from my own state) because I saw something in their profile that "clicked" with me, actually I e-mailed 3 one responded, 2 did not..I took the 2 that did not as a not interested..Of course with that being said I was in my own small way trying to be proactive about seeking my mate and the rejections by no response of course kind of made me feel not so good about myself, and it may be a long time before I become proactive again..So I am sorry  that this happens but at least those who did not respond can be eliminated from your possibilities list//:0)~~...take care..Tempting

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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 10:13:00 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNbear

Why is it that you send someone an email they read it, but do not respond back.  I like to think that we are all adult here and can handle someone saying that they are not interested.  Is it really that big of a deal?

Bear


Why is it that when someone isn't getting there replies from there e-mails they send out, the come here to the boards to wine and bitch about it? We're all adults here and can handle a few fish not nibbleing the bate. Is it really that big of a deal?

Anyhow, if some of the people here had to reply to every message. They wouldn't have time to do anything else.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 10:37:26 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		A better question might be, why ask why?

I don't even think about it if someone does not write me back. I figure if they have something to say to me they will, if not they won't. It's pretty damned simple. I get lots of emails I don't answer. They obviously are just trolling and haven't a clue what I am about, the truth might scare them OR, even more probable, they don't care what the truth is. All they are looking for is wanker material. What is really weird to me is to get email that the profile has been deleted. That always makes me wonder for a brief second, what is the rest of the story....hmmmmm


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TNbear)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 10:58:58 AM   
TNbear


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I am certainly not here to piss anyone off!  It was a simple question.  As I stated, i do not let it strees me.  I am not whining, nor complaining.  Just asking a simple question.

If you did not realize, I am new here.  this was my second post!  If someone does not email me back, then fuck em!  I could care less!  That being said, I was just curious about this and if it seems to happen alot.

Bear

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 11:22:59 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		TNbear,

Part of the reason that folks are being so vehement about your thread is that the question is posed frequently on the boards.  Seeing it again produces a certain amount of fatigue, irritation, what have you.  Some people get a lot of mail on here.  If they don't respond to something you email, it's may just be an energy-saving behavior.

There have been lots of threads on how to maximize your likelihood of getting a response from someone.  You might get some useful information on looking those up.

(in reply to TNbear)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 11:30:51 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNbear

Well, I am certainly not here to piss anyone off!  It was a simple question.  As I stated, i do not let it strees me.  I am not whining, nor complaining.  Just asking a simple question.

If you did not realize, I am new here.  this was my second post!  If someone does not email me back, then fuck em!  I could care less!  That being said, I was just curious about this and if it seems to happen alot.

Bear


Oh good grief I don't think you've pissed anyone off. Certainly not I, I don't think it's possible for anyone online to do so.

 From the vanilla ice cream cone it's obvious your new here. You will come to realize that most here are quite blunt, especially on certain subjects. I don't think anyone intended to be nasty, I know I didn't and if it was taken that way then my sincere appologies.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TNbear)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why? - 8/5/2006 11:50:34 AM   
MasterKalif


Posts: 648
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline 		Bear, I agree with you, a minimum politeness and correctness would be to reply something even if they are not interested. However you have a good attitude, if they don't reply they are the ones missing out, they are not worth anymore of your thoughts.
As to why....I think many answered that question already.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 20
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