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Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 9:30:58 AM   
FLdomCouple


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We are a nice, clean M/F couple, who after many years of playing together are finally in a position to handle a 24/7 slave. However its not that easy to find one that is realistic. (Mind you we have been ready for 3 years and looking for that long)

Something is not working here, maybe its us, or our approach, I dunno. We seem to meet folks online, start to chat with them, and we get along great! For about two weeks we voice, chat and video, every concieveable question is asked from both sides, arrangements are discussed, and we are satisfied that once again, we have found the 'one'

The problem is twofold from this point on: First after about 2-3 weeks of conversation there is nothing left to talk about online, as we dont cybersex. The potential slaves have nothing left to say and we already know everythign we need to, so the chat just dies out. (How many times can you ask how their pet is doing or the weather) Eventually that hot-i'm-ready-for-you slave simply vanishes due to boredom.

Secondly (this is related to the above) Many slaves once reaching the above point are willing to join us, but then the truth comes out that they are simply not ready in real life to commit for various reasons.

I'll site some examples from actual slaves (Note, handles have been changed to protect the insincere)

Annie - Talked with her for 6 months, was 7 months away from coming down, as she was still in college! She was not ready to be a slave at all, but had the desire. Finally we dropped her as she started to lie to us online in attempts to cut short conversations.

Badslave - Seemed perfect, talked for 2 months, then found out she was still living with her parents and we were supposed to 'kidnap' her into slavery when her family brought her down for a family vacation 5 months away. We left this like a hot potato..

lilangeleyes - Talked for a month, very erotic person, made it to the planning the trip down stage, then she suddenly had a change of heart at the last minute.

Stargirl - Currently talking, but just found out she does not want to break her lease which still has 15 months left on it. This one wont happen as she is not sincere at all and we are not going to wait that long.


It amazes me that so many females that want a 24/7 life are advertising apparntly years in advance! When it comes right down to making an offer, its then when you discover the real life obligations they need to finish first.

Well, this is more than a rant, I would like to know how others who have been successful have done it, whats the secret? Also if you could take a look at our profile and offer some advice, as its simply not working at all.

Thanks!

Mistress Angel & Master Steve
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 9:47:10 AM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
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From: Scotland/Tennessee
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This has been my experience also with some minor modifications. One who was a "sub" on a site and through all communications including email, im, phone (over three months), turned out to be a Dom when we met in person. Which would have been alright (I actually have friends who are dominant males) if he hadn't attempted to "dom" me in the restaurant. That was beyond inappropriate! There was also the fact that he had actually lied, to consider.

I wonder if a lot of people are just "testing the water" maybe. This shouldn't be called the "Message Board" but rather the "Information Forum" and I believe that I may include somewhere on my profile that before anyone emails me they should check this area of collarme out. Because so many of them with profiles out there just have no clue!

If they would just take the time to read even a fraction of the information that is available (and most of it is FREE for crying out loud!) it would make such a difference!


< Message edited by LadyBeckett -- 4/16/2004 9:48:50 AM >


_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to FLdomCouple)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 10:54:28 AM   
proudsub


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From: Washington
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I don't understand why people would spend all that time building a relationship if they aren't ready to commit. I also don't understand why they would advertise themselves in their profile and say they are looking for something that they aren't ready to commit to it when the fit is good. It certainly isn't fair to the other party involved. Unfortunately they probably aren't the ones who read the message boards.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to FLdomCouple)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 11:21:19 AM   
EStrict


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I am going to go slightly different here and address something you said:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLdomCouple
For about two weeks we voice, chat and video, every concieveable question is asked from both sides, arrangements are discussed, and we are satisfied that once again, we have found the 'one'

The problem is twofold from this point on: First after about 2-3 weeks of conversation there is nothing left to talk about online, as we dont cybersex. The potential slaves have nothing left to say and we already know everythign we need to, so the chat just dies out.



Yet, in every example you gave, it was after the 2-3 weeks that you discovered the *fact* that caused things not to be feasible.

Another thing I would like to say, is a 24-7 commitment is a very large thing. On top of everything else, you are asking someone to trust enough to move, relocate, and trust totally in this pending relationship after less than 2-3 weeks of discussion.

I realize that it's frustrating to look for what you need, but perhaps you should worry a little less about your desire for a slave and concentrate on getting to know the people first.

I don't cyber either, but I spoke to Master online for over 3 months just as a person before we even ever spoke of the possibility of other type of relationships. My *personal* rules for 24/7 were always that the person had to be willing to meet RL within 90 days and able to go 24/7 within 6 months. But honestly, this lifestyle is more than just *play* and *service*. I have mind, a heart, thoughts, feelings, wants, etc. And though I may need to serve, if someone ran out of things to talk about after a mere 2-3 weeks other than the weather, I would drop them too. To me it shows no interest in the *whole* package.

There wasn't a day during the 3 months we spoke as friends, the 3 months it took to plan the first meeting then the RL move, and the over 4 years we have been together that Master hasn't found something more interesting and important to talk to me about than the weather.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to FLdomCouple)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 12:17:08 PM   
MistressDREAD


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Hello Angel and Steve
First off let Me make this quite clear online slaves and submissives are not the same as real life slaves and submissives, and the real life meeting you would normally have in real life bypasses a whole lot of this trappings that You both seem to be going thru. Let Me make this short and sweet. submissives are part time, slaves are full time and once it have worn a kolar should aways wear one in life because they have chose to live a life of slavery and have chose to give up all responcibility for them selfs to another therefor they go from one Owner to another and from one Contract and kolar to the next. Any slave whom is not contracted when You meet them have either never been Owned or have a bad past with Its Owners. ( headsup) I have many slaves in real life and with contract and colar. Sum I have gained thru online and sum in real life and thru barter as it is illigal in this country ( USA) to buy and sell slaves. ( alltho it is an acceptable practice in many other countrys. ) You can forgo all of this time and effort that the Both of You are going thru simply by asking three questions right up front and in the beginning to find out the mindset of
those whom claim to be real life 24/7 slaves. Ask for the slaves current Owners name to negotiate with and a copy of their contract with the current Owners. If it says that it is not Owned but has in the past ask for its manumation papers of such a release. If it says it does not have this or even asks what this is its a clue to what they really are. If they say that they desire 24/7 Ownership but have never been Owned befor , befor I even speak to it I offer a contract for 6 months and in that contract which looks just like a contract for employment with limits and such, with pertinent personal information gain what they seek in servitude and limits.
You will want to know of anyone whom will be with in Your Home
and offer a 6 month kolar of training. Any whom are a bit serious
will accept this and follow thru. Any whom are here for attention
in a submissive manner and want to have the feeling of being
a slave with out commitment and will not state will run from the
request of these items like white on rice because those whom
have no intention of commiting to You nor live with You will NOT
want to give YOU any personal information and if they truly Do
desire to come to You and give every thing of their lifes up to
You will have no issure to give You their personal infomation,Just as if You were a employer because after all this is sumone whom has all the intention of Living for life with You and turn over everything with in thier life and living to You including their very being. I have them send all this by snail mail with a return address so I can also send them what I desire to work towards their comming to My Home. I tell them that I will be using this information to run a police check, credit check, and check their medical records for any thing that was not given to Me up front showing Me they were not being honest and this is a good way to see how they utilize their integrity and honor as well, unless They have a career that They allready started and You will also come across this kind of slave whom has had these feelings all their life but never acted on them till their later years and are now totally free of every thing with in life and ready to make a full time life commitment as well. This is what concensual slavery 24/7 In!! Any thing less is simply a submissive foolling their selfs and You. I have a Group where I teach Dominants pertinant information on concensual slavery as apposed to submissive Ownership or Relationship and You are welcome to write Me if You have a desire to learn the in and outs of On Line. [email protected]





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(in reply to FLdomCouple)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 12:23:23 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FLdomCouple


It amazes me that so many females that want a 24/7 life are advertising apparntly years in advance! When it comes right down to making an offer, its then when you discover the real life obligations they need to finish first.

Well, this is more than a rant, I would like to know how others who have been successful have done it, whats the secret? Also if you could take a look at our profile and offer some advice, as its simply not working at all.

Thanks!

Mistress Angel & Master Steve


I have to mimic what Sandy said. I cannot even fathom how within a two to three week time span you know everything about a person. Your statements alone proved otherwise. If you knew everything about them you would know and understand their insecurities.
Aside from the fact, unless a person is brand new to the internet we all sort of know. There are a lot of people out there who are bored today, wake up find a chat room and all of the sudden are a slave, Dom, Master or sub. Are these people truly what they claim to be? Or do they just want to cyber?
Myself, when I was searching I did not cyber at all. It narrowed down a whole lot of people in one swift swoop. That tells people out there there is more to you than hormones. Hey maybe she is seriously searching for something more than a quick roll in the hay?
I think it just falls on how you conduct yourself online with your potential mates. Perhaps you are not communicating well enough? Perhaps you are not looking in the right places?
I really don't know what the issue is. Clearly there is one though.

(in reply to FLdomCouple)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 4:15:28 PM   
Estring


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I think people are missing the point that you are contacting women who claim to be looking for 24/7. You would assume that anyone advertising this would be telling the truth. I think that most that say that is what they want are living a fantasy. They dream about 24/7 but have no intention of making it a reality. All you can do is keep searching. Or find a slave that would be open to part-time.

(in reply to FLdomCouple)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 4:29:14 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
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quote:

I think people are missing the point that you are contacting women who claim to be looking for 24/7.


No Sir, I didn't miss that. It doesn't change the fact that if have nothing to talk about after a mere 2-3 weeks, a lifetime is going to definitely feel like it! And that even if you are seeking 24/7 doesn't mean you don't want to get to know the people as people first.

< Message edited by EStrict -- 4/16/2004 4:34:12 PM >


_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 5:03:35 PM   
sarbonn


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Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline
I have often found myself talking online to a potential owner, and it will be one of those online continuous discussions that never goes anywhere. After awhile, I just sort of give up because after a certain amount of time, you start to realize it's a game to some people.

Add to the fact that I don't think a lot of people understand what 24/7 really means in a M/s relationship, even when they claim to know. I've dated professional dominants who thought that because they tortured guys for 6 days a week they understood what it meant to be a 24/7 mistress, and then they discover it's not what they were expecting.

These days, I'm really apprehensive about putting myself forward because I have been burned so many times.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to EStrict)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 5:09:55 PM   
sub4hire


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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sarbonn



Add to the fact that I don't think a lot of people understand what 24/7 really means in a M/s relationship, even when they claim to know. I've dated professional dominants who thought that because they tortured guys for 6 days a week they understood what it meant to be a 24/7 mistress, and then they discover it's not what they were expecting.




Sarbonn,
Why would a pro know anything at all about the lifestyle? I mean sure they may know how to spank you properly without seriously doing damage. Beyond that, what do they know about relationships? They have'nt had any. At least not if they have been pro all of the time.

Of course...that is'nt the popular point of view either..but it' s mine.

(in reply to sarbonn)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 5:32:03 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Estring
if My 24/7 Master,Master,Mistress/slaves world is a
fantasy well then I am livng ONE hell of a Great
FantasyLIFE!! It is however tru that there are a great
many wannna be player slaves and Dominants whom
profess this life but do not actually live it 24/7 at all.
It soulds to Me that because You have not found this
particular way to live Yourself that You do not belive
its presance but I can assure You that it is and a total
commitment day and night, Monday thru Sunday,
awake and asleep. To live Life one must make a move,
To Live within a Alternate Life one must go against the
grain of Motion of lifes movements to live an be fullfilled.

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 5:55:40 PM   
Estring


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Dread, my point was that they were contacting women who were advertising as looking for 24/7 and then it turned out they were in fact not. I do believe that many women (and men) that place ads online are just fantasizing and have no intention of doing what they state in their ads. Not all certainly, but many.
As for myself, I am not looking for 24/7 necessarily at this time, but instead I look for slaves who are actually serious about being a slave. And believe me, that isn't easy either. Lol.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 6:45:05 PM   
baddestca


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/9/2004
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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLdomCouple


It amazes me that so many females that want a 24/7 life are advertising apparntly years in advance! When it comes right down to making an offer, its then when you discover the real life obligations they need to finish first


i a m simpley amased that so many say 24/7 when they could not possibley consider such a thing for al lthe other baggage they have in their life they choose to deal with first . Speaking from 51 years in this i cna tell you 24/7 is not a thing in this time and life but like the dino long gone nto extinction. This i base on the fact taht for the time it takesfor one to mature to the degree werethey have the patiance tollerance and understandingto form a dom point of view even undertake such a venture as well as the high leval of maintance neede to support such and indevour they are to old or considered to be by amny to be desired as they do not meet physical youth or other aspects that age changes

DBSM or what ever the wattered down version is today seeks only for part time use by anyone as all other ful time use is long gone from existance . There are very few Dom ho wuld have the patiance and time to invest in oe to take on a 24/7/365 existance especialy of the high maintance leval such as cuffed and caged would require . For gos sake most choose by other things weathe sub master or what ever to not have the time to maintaine a puppy

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/16/2004 6:48:36 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I do believe that many women (and men) that place ads online are just fantasizing and have no intention of doing what they state in their ads. Not all certainly, but many.



I quite agree. I've also noticed that many people who literally yearn to serve have really no idea what that means to THEM, much less how to make it about someone else. Does that invalidate their yearning? Not one little bit. It does, however, speak to their capacity to live what they yearn for. Not to their intent, but to their ability.

Most of these people are the sort who will bow out when the reality of what they yearn for is staring them in the face. It's fear, I suppose. Not everyone is intentionally pretending, but it seems to me that those who do not have the experience to draw upon are at high risk for "buyer's remorse."

That doesn't change the fact that you put your good time into discovering this, but then what relationship is worth bothering with if it isn't worth taking that simple risk?

The things the original poster is speaking of are some of the things that have taught me not to 'look' for relationships. Good relationships often grow from friendship. Looking to make friends is the closest I will come to 'looking.' I've found the cost/benefit ratio in terms of energy expended is significantly better when "looking" at most for friendship and not for a 'partner.'

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/17/2004 9:54:40 AM   
Gabrielle


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Joined: 3/27/2004
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IMO, to jump right in to 24/7 lifestlye, is in itself quite impractical. Keep in mind, I am referring to those who are not contracted, do not wish to be contracted, and maybe not even heard of it.

I came into this with my 'boyfriend' at the time. I knew nothing of the lifestyle, but SLOWLY he introduced me to it seeing the potential in me. He saw this in a simple kiss as he pushed me up against a wall forcefully, but gently and it turned me on.

For those who are not pros, or contracted, but in a personal, romantic relationship, it starts just like those who are vanilla. It takes months of getting to know one another, taking one step at a time. 24/7 is HUGE step and the other smaller steps cannot be skipped. I can go on and on about the many steps forward I have taken and the even more numerous steps I took backward. But in the end, after 4 years of traveling at a pace comfortable for me and my Master we went 24/7. And we were married for 3 three of those years.

I think many, not all, advertising for 24/7 really don't know how involved a process it is, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. It takes TIME.

Again, I do not refer to those who are pros or contracted. Honestly, I don't understand those types of relationships, but I am a romantic, head in the clouds type of gal anyway. Sweep me off my feet, then I will serve at yours.

With all respect to everyone,
Gabrielle

(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/17/2004 10:39:22 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

He saw this in a simple kiss as he pushed me up against a wall forcefully, but gently and it turned me on.


That's exactly what my first r/l Dom did, and I loved it!!

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Gabrielle)
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RE: Insincere 24/7 slaves... - 4/17/2004 11:24:17 AM   
Gabrielle


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/27/2004
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Isn't it great proudsub? My life hasn't been the same since

(in reply to proudsub)
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