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Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 11:28:33 AM   
LadyTantalize


Posts: 242
Joined: 4/13/2004
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OK, I'm new here, but with My experience in other BDSM, personals, groups, message boards, etc., I would have thought My skin to be thicker - guess not. Among the first day's messages upon registering My profile was an email of an insulting nature. The email proceeded to psychoanalyze My profile, to insult issues that he read into My profile which were inaccurate and to attack Me via high-handed words filled with a "holier-than-thou" mentality. This person does not know Me, lives no where near Me, doesn't know anyone I know from the best My research tells Me. Granted, I've encountered My fair share of flakes and nefarious types, but I will confess, the negative nature and the indepth puesdo-analysis of this total stranger completely caught Me off guard. I'm not responding nor further engaging this person, but I am still puzzled by it all.

So, why?

Why do folks feel the need to lash out at strangers, to attempt at putting someone down, to insult, or even analyze a mere profile and try to hurt with words and emails someone they don't even know. It truly amazes Me!

Curious as to how others feel about this, and if it has happened to others here?

Truly,

Lady T.



"Thou art to me a delicious torment." Ralph Waldo Emerson

< Message edited by LadyTantalize -- 4/16/2004 11:32:24 AM >
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 12:16:20 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I have to say it has never happened to me. Although I don't doubt the validity of your statements.

What you need to understand is a basic principle of psychology. People who feel bad about themselves put others down so they don't feel as bad. They are no longer alone in their misery. Someone is sharing it.
Perhaps they are hoping you will lash out at them. They will have somebody to talk to. Even if they don't know basic relationship skills. A mere Hello would go much further. If you grant a little respect I don't feel you should'nt get a little respect in return.

Anyway those are my two cents.

(in reply to LadyTantalize)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 2:38:00 PM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline
Sounds as if you've found yourself a nasty attention slut.

The worst thing you could do to them is to simply ignore them. Of course the attention slut won't usually quit that easily, and may mail again in attempt to provoke a reaction (any reaction) from you.

Ignore the pyscho bitch. There's one in the personal's called whorepolice or something to that effect... was it him/her/it perhaps, lol?

Gloria makes very good points regarding their pysche (watch out for her, lol), and their intent, so the question would be "who's in charge... them or you?"

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to LadyTantalize)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 3:32:49 PM   
LadyTantalize


Posts: 242
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline
Thanks so much for the responses and such good points. I thought Myself to be wise to "psycho-subs" and versed in the psychology of such, but right when you think you know...

there's always more to learn!!

It was not the person you mentioned. But, I totally agree that this person was out for attention. I did respond to the first email (I confess, it got My dander up!), but with the second email came the dawning of the type this person was, and I'm on "ignore" now in My mind.

Thanks again for the replies!!

Truly,

Lady T.

(in reply to LadyTantalize)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 4:04:37 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Got it ,day onethat I was here and usually daily I have at least one lil ol nastie so and so hahahaha but I really personally enjoy it as I AM into humiliation and it gives Me a chance to practice such and when Im done with them never get a return on their first post so to Me Im going to suppose that ( I WIN ) ~wink~ Honestly Sis they are feeling You out to see what You are made of these jerk/rub offs whom get off on humiliation and this is not a position issue as both sub and Dominant enjoy giving such and I will agree that You dident ask for it and in a way it is like rape for them to give it to You with out Your permission, but look at it this way and do what I have choosen to do. It shows that they have never learned the rules regulations or proticals of Our Lifestyle and came into Your private space sooooo return the flavor and post what they said in your daily diary so that all can know who the envaders and preditors are here with in collarme.com.............ooh yea one more thing dont forget to put them on ban so they cannot write You any more and You can always direct them to the chat rooms which are public domain and fair game for any scening which is with in the lifestyle in the dungeon and when they can get away with it the lobby sumtimes.....wicked giggles




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(in reply to LadyTantalize)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 4:43:57 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inyouagain



Gloria makes very good points regarding their pysche (watch out for her, lol), and their intent, so the question would be "who's in charge... them or you?"

Inyouagain


Hey, what is that supposed to mean? Watch out for her?

(in reply to inyouagain)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/16/2004 6:58:32 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyTantalize


So, why?

Why do folks feel the need to lash out at strangers, to attempt at putting someone down, to insult, or even analyze a mere profile and try to hurt with words and emails someone they don't even know. It truly amazes Me!

Curious as to how others feel about this, and if it has happened to others here?




Yup...it happens.

My experience is that often when someone will go out of their way to tear another into analyzed bits (especially in initiating the interaction with a stranger) often they are hyperfocusing on someone else to avoid doing the very same analysis of themself. In essense, they are petrified of seeing their own reflection in that mirror of self examination. So they focus it outwardly instead of inwardly.

It's sad and to some degree pitiful...but it's not really that uncommon a neurosis.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyTantalize)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/17/2004 12:09:59 AM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Hey, what is that supposed to mean? Watch out for her?

It was meant as a psyche compliment, so please don't get paranoid.

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/17/2004 9:38:43 AM   
Gabrielle


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/27/2004
Status: offline
I have been on this site for about a month now and got my very first nastie two days ago! I am so proud! Someone actually thought me worthy of the time and excessive energy to be rude, impolite and insulting. I am honored. After all, isn't it true, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Someone out there thought I was worth the effort. (takes a deep proud breath) Yes, I am really coming up the world.

though I have only received the one, I took with a grain of salt and found comic relief. I was accused of being a man who could not find my own slave....my Master was accused of being lazy and not knowing how to find a another slave....

I just want a sister sub. This is a gift from my Master. It is something He has given me permission to actively pursue. Naturally, he makes the final call, but sees I enjoy communicating with others. So what? I don't think that makes him lazy, or me a man!
Funny.

I tried to write back, to kill him with kindness, but found that his profile did not exist. Interesting.

Anyway, I wouldn't take offense to anything you get in that regard. Usually, like Gloria says, they doubt their own selves. Not worth your time or thought energy at all.

Have a wonderful day, A/all
Gabrielle

(in reply to inyouagain)
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RE: Insulting responses to profile - 4/18/2004 1:55:38 AM   
GoddessMarissa


Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline
I do agree with you, I have been here a couple of days and I got some snide remarkes. I just responded back every time until it finally stopped. I cant say I did not get a little agitated.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/18/2004 1:57:41 AM >


_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
www.Domina.ms/love

(in reply to inyouagain)
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[Deleted] - 4/18/2004 8:37:37 AM   
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