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Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/23/2004 7:32:20 AM   
directme


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		I saw a post on a different site and it didnt get a response but interested me as to what the difference is between a dom and a disciplinarian?

Is there a difference?

Isnt a Dom someone who guides and nutures their sub using discipline, both mental and occassionally physical?

Im a little confused. What are your thoughts
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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/23/2004 9:19:12 AM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline 		In my opinion a Dominant takes on many roles, and a disciplinarian is just one of them.

I wouldn't get too hung up on the labels, they really mean nothing, in this lifestyle, people at times get too worried about the titles, and not the role they should play in their own relationship.

quote:

"badges, to god-damned hell with badges. We have no badges. In fact, we don't need badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges, you god-damned cabron and ching' tu madre!
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre by B. Traven



quote:

"Badges, we don't need no stinkin badges"
The Red Mexican Bandit in Blazing Saddles


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If I got smart with you.................
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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/23/2004 11:11:55 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I am submissive to my dom. Yet, if I had kids would I not be their disciplinarian? Would that make me their dom or their mother?


(in reply to directme)
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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/23/2004 2:15:45 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		directme,
Semantics aside maybe my position will give you something else to consider. As a Master to a slave, I view discipline or even the need for discipline as failure; failure both on my slave's part and in some respects, mine. Discipline infers corrective action for failure.

I contrast it and keep it distinct from training sessions and just the normal every day physical sensations that both me and my slave WANT in our life. Nurturing, guiding and growing within our relationship occurs daily. As you ask, mental and sometimes physical training occurs. We live under a contract with rules that we both want. Discipline needed for correcting any rule infraction is failure.

I think the 'wanting' is what defines the difference. Does anyone really 'want' disciplinary correction? People may want and need to receive and inflict pain, but even the most intense pain needing sub and the most sadistic Dom understands and appreciates the emotional and mental differences between a discipline and 'play' or any other session.

In some regards a dom doesn't need to be a disciplinarian. If he/she expects certain behavior and doesn't get it he can simply decide not to do anything. He can decide to dismiss the sub and/or choose not to have a relationship if the sub is unwilling to follow the established rules. Under the broad definition that may be discipline, but I think you are referring to more a "cause and effect" disciplinary relationship.

I know some who relish the roles of 'bratty' sub and correcting Dom. But I don't know anyone living as Master/slave, especially in a 24/7 relationship that regularly play that way.

Hope this perspective helps and doesn't cause more confusion.

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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/23/2004 2:26:42 PM   
ThorsHammer


Posts: 49
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Merc .... I agree with you totally. I also view the need to take corrective action, discipline, as a failure.

To me, one of the major responsibilities of a Master/Dominant, besides protecting his slave/sub from harm, is to ensure she achieves. Achieves being the perfect slave/sub for you, achieves the warm feelings of serving proudly, achieves success in her life as you direct. She achieves!

We, as Masters/Dominants, also achieve. We achieve success in taking the raw material who is our slave/sub and mold her into the whole person she has the potential to become. We take her inner strength and inner beauty and bring it to the forefront! To take a quote from an old US Army recruiting ad .... we help her "Become all she can be."

Just my thoughts.

Donn

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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/23/2004 6:18:10 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Disciplinarians specialises in corrective training, behaviour modification, disciplining wayward partners, sissy training, school boy/school mistress punishments, naughty boy spankings, etc. ... much like Humilatrixs' who specialise in humilation and degredation, its merely (IMO) just a label refining their kink interests.

They are Dominant Women but the refining of labels help for them be identified by those who seek to experience what they offer and helps them weed out those who arent.

Jasmyn

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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/24/2004 8:54:01 AM   
mylimits


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/14/2004
Status: offline 		Jasmyn

Im with you on this one. I think a Disciplinarian is exactly as you suggest.

In my opinion a Dom is a totally different thing. A dom perhaps has more emotional involvement with the subject as quoted in earlier posts. Im not saying a disciplinarian does not care but is a little more detached and tends to deal more in the youve made a mistake and your going to be punished for it. My idea of a dom is one that understands you and as stated in the original quote nutures.


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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/24/2004 12:52:36 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		I guess I'd agree with IYM.

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Dominant or disciplinarian? - 12/25/2004 11:39:32 AM   
uneeddiscipline


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/24/2004
Status: offline 		A disciplinarian is very different from a dom IMHO. A dom plays more of a structured role, someone who EXERCISES a control or influence. A disciplinarian is just that. Someone who ENFORCES strong discipline or control. Doms can be more imagnitive as Disciplinariansmay be more harsh and punish the behaviour rather than understand the reasons for it.

If your looking for a particular service titles ARE important. Some people want more of a relationship, some others DO just want to be physically punished in some way and no relationship other than during the brief time they are with the disciplinarian.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
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