Being a novice, the going is rough...

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Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/11/2006 10:36:31 PM

SignorinaC

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

Hello Ladies...

I am so **pissed**...I met a slave on here...he was from Spain. Since we both speak the same language, we got into an intense situation, a back and forth thing and were making plans to meet and possibly enter into a D/s situation... it was divine. He sent Me an email telling me not to worry if he didn't contact me, because he was moving, would be in touch, etc. Because I am a novice, I have not really accepted any subs who email Me (and there are a lot of mails that come in)usually chit chat but always politely decline...but this one got to Me.

I know these things don't always workout, we are on the internet after all, and if things go into r/t and work out, we are fortunate...so I happen to decide to write to him a few minutes ago...click on his profile and he has "I am no longer looking, I belong to Mistress Lynn"...honestly I am cool with who he decides to be with...that is not my point. The point is...can you let your SUPPOSED "queen" and "Mistress" and "Keeper" know you are no longer interested (this all happened within a matter of days) in becoming their sub???

COMMON COURTESY (Cortesia, in Spanish) is such a nice thing to live by...especially out of respect (respeto) for ME. I am after all, a novice Domme and deserve respect....too much to ask for? I don't know...and I don't suffer flakes too well...

Thanks for letting me vent...I would whip his ass if I could- sh*t, why do that, he would love it.

Signorina C

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/11/2006 10:58:32 PM

MistressSophia

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Honey get use to it.. There are tons on here.. You have to realize one thing if he contacted you. He contact every other Mistress that was on. Maybe what needs to be done is a list made. so we don't waste our time on the ones that aren't serious. "It's how the dimond in the rough gets past by" Good luck next time.

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A whisper in the dark of the night, freezes the soul. and sets the heart on fire!

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/11/2006 11:15:06 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

SignorinaC,

Welcome. What you describe is sadly very common -- people on here trolling for new relationships often figure that they might as well "court" 5-6, figuring that most will fall off the map, and they'll juggle the remaining few. This is especially common for those --Dom/me or sub -- who plan on ONLY having a cyber relationship.

Fortunately you have the resources to find someone new. As they say, A rey muerto, rey puesto. Si?

By the way, you'll note its not ONLY "ladies" who post. You might want to alter your greeting.

Be well, singorina.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/11/2006 11:26:29 PM

BuxomGoddess714

Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline

Dear Ma'am,

Just be glad the trifling slut wasn't already living in Your home and carrying on with every other Domina on here. You're much better off, trust Me. Many of Us have dealt with that crap. And have stories You'd not believe..... Do not trust all that You see, only half of what You hear and NOTHING on the Internet, dear.

Be blessed and careful,
Goddess

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/11/2006 11:31:54 PM

leatherorlace

Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

As those of us that have some experience knows, both dominants and submissives of both genders can and often do "play the fishes on a taut line until they land the species that they're lustin' for.
Before the NET, I experienced the same attempts at playing Me, but, I bait My own hooks and am not very tolerant of gamesters.
I've seen slaves and sub's confer with one another seeking clues as how to become a successful property in public play events, partys, private events, munches and other functions and chances at socializing. The human species isn't the only one that has to flirt and court another, but we seem most confused about the need and manner. lol
Gentry

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 8:27:14 AM

SignorinaC

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, all. Yes, perhaps I was too trusting...lesson learned... Got an email from him this morning going "off " on me, for being so vanilla (if anything I am more caramel, thank you, dulce de leche to be exact), that the photos I sent of him showed that I was not a BBW (ooookay, come check my closet and scale, why dontcha) because I have beautiful thin legs (hey cannot help my body) and that I lied (?)

Also, gave me grief because I told him a lot of personal stuff about my life, so that he would understand the limitations of our situation...and said that I was so plain and ordinary, and also said I was immature.... Ouch.

I responded by saying that he could find all the excuses he wants to justify his behavior, but proper form would have been to say "Hey, I am sorry this is not going to work out"...PERIOD. This is how I conduct myself...and I suppose I will continue to look for the needle in the haystack....

Off to pick out the thorns...

Thanks again,

Signorina Claudia

< Message edited by SignorinaC -- 8/12/2006 8:29:37 AM >

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 9:08:05 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
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Signorina C,

Sorry to hear of your experience with that jerk. His initial lack of courtesy was bad enough, but then to send the insulting e-mail going off on You was really uncalled for.

Good luck in Your search. Hope You don't encounter too many more like him, but unfortunately they are out there. But then there are a lot of nice ones out there, too.

Lady Topaz

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 9:14:22 AM

SignorinaC

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

Thank you...No matter what, and above all, we are human beings...and we have feelings. He was rude, but as I told him, I am glad that now I know that this supposed self sacrificing sub is all about himself: cold and calculating. Lesson learned.

One thing about me, I am not bitter, so I know there are wonderful male subs out there... it is all a matter of communication and compatibility.

Signorina C

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 9:44:35 AM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
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Signorina Claudia, i am saddened to hear about the lack of manners that You had to suffer. Being raised as an old fashioned gentleman, i cannot conceive of behaving that way. i think that is one of the things about me that my Goddess likes, that a properly deferential attitude comes naturally to me. i'm not perfect yet, but She's guiding me.

i don't think that You lost much. If that's how You were treated by that one now, what would have happened in the future? And You learned some lessons about how much to reveal about Yourself and when, the hard way. You may be a novice, Ma'am, but You are the one in control. Live that thought.

Others here have commented that he was just "casting his bread upon the waters" to get a quick fix for his fantasies. And i think that's all that really happened. One thing that i have always done when approaching a Domme was to concentrate only on Her, usually at Her insistence, but i would have done that anyway. Otherwise, it's just "i'm going to flirt like crazy with everyone and attach myself to whoever feeds my ego". We'll see how long he stays attached to Her.

my little icons don't reflect my 25 years in D/s. i see that You are at least new to these message boards, as am i. Please stay here, You will find that Your circumstance is too common, but that what You seek can be found. i also wanted to comment on Your statement about wanting to deliver a good whipping. Sometimes, with a true masochist or pain slut, You have to withhold that. Denying them what they want most, and having them stay around, is one way to measure their true intent towards You. Make them earn it, Signorina.

An old friend, whose family is from El Salvador, taught me the only Spanish i know. Very limited, i only know how to 'cuss' in Spanish. Thought of my favorite word after reading Your OP. i won't repeat it here, but it starts with a 'be', ends with an 'o' or 'a'.......and there's a 'd' in there somewhere.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 10:50:17 AM

SignorinaC

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/23/2006
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jonathan,

That was a very sweet and touching reply. I wish you all the happiness in the world...it sounds as if your Goddess is more than lucky and vice versa...

What can I say? I do like gentlemen who know of their place in the world and treat a woman with chivalry. I agree, absolutely, that this sub was not worth it, and I am sure that his new Mistress will figure it out, too...he was so rude and mean that I am apalled. I will let go, because that is the only way to move foward...

And yes, I know what word you are speaking of in Spanish... :)

Signorina C

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 6:18:58 PM

golfguy

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

Hello to you all. i continue to read the stories on collar me.A great place to learn whats going on in the sub/domme world. I get awfully discouraged and upset with all the problems that arise. Here i sit alone wishing i had a domme that would call and say,get here i need you now, or something of the sort. im a novice and have a strong passion to serve with honesty and loyalty but i cant get a response.isnt it possible for the dommes to have made up a test of some sort to weed out the phonies ? i would love to take it and then possibly fulfill my passion to serve. thank you for reading this. doug

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RE: Being a novice, the going is rough... - 8/12/2006 7:40:05 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Jerks are jerks are jerks. Better to find out now than to have invested in travel, or worse.

That being said, you may want to learn something from this, in that you can make sure you establish some basic expectations right up front as far as what the individual male is seeking (and not just his fantasy either.) This is a generalization, but whereas women think emotionally and seek out the feelings about something, men oft think in terms of the physicality, the look and the "existence" of what you'll be doing or what he'll be doing. Often times, we all fail to "speak the same language" when it comes to making sure that everyone's on the same page because we get so wrapped up in the newness (something polyamorists call 'New Relationship Energy') or the sexiness or the intensity of the power exchange.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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