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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/12/2006 7:49:25 PM

sinwin

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I WISH I HAD A SLAVE GIRL WITH THIS TOUNGE TOUGH-ORDEAL

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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/12/2006 8:14:26 PM

fox2152

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Joined: 7/31/2006
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Thank Y/you for all of your suggestion. my master and i talk for hours. It generally happens right after i get out of class. It not like i’m trying to change his mind on anything. Like i said it just pops out. i always give in to him. i know i should not do it and i do catch myself about 10 seconds after i say it. But by then he’s already mad. He’s on a trip right now. i was hoping for some suggestions that might help switch from school thinking to private thinking. i really want to fix my problem before he gets back. Before he left he told me how he plans on fixing the problem if I don’t. i know i have a high pain tolerance but i don’t like pain that much. So, i though asking for suggestion would not hurt. And I know it would make him happy if i can take care of this myself. So thank you again for Y/your input.

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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/12/2006 8:32:29 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mp072004

First, Julia, thank you for your intelligent, civil discussion of a rather touchy topic.

It sounds like you and the man described in your message enjoy one another, and in a vague way, I'm glad that you do. You note that you have similar values, and I agree that it's much easier to allow another person to make decisions when those decisions are close to the ones you would make anyway.

You write that you choose to do as the man in your life says because you want to. That's fairly clear, you sound like a smart, capable person, and your history, as you described it, indicates that you don't need a surrogate to have a desirable life. You seem happy with the decisions that you have made thus far, and, as far as I can tell, you would be capable of continuing to determine your own actions. Would you explain why you want to abide by the decisions of your partner?

Monica

Because I want to, that is all I can say, I really just want to.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/12/2006 11:51:56 PM

Sirandlittle1

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i liked julia's response too. And that 'wanting to' just has to be there, or the going is gonna get real tough, real quick.

But assuming it is there, and this is just you gobbing off. try some of this.

when i get in from the outside world, i like to take some time to 'focus' on who i am, taking a shower, and cleansing myself for him, that helps.
or
I do the maths.
Me being obedient = happy Dom = happy with me and playful Dom
Me being disobedient = unhappy, not playful at all Dom. I try to chose the former.

If i really am stuck on a issue, whereby i think he's wrong and im having real difficulty 'pretending' he aint, then we talk, outside of the dynamic, but still with respect. That works too.
little1

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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/13/2006 6:48:25 AM

fox2152

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Thank Y/you i'm try it.

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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/13/2006 7:26:43 AM

porcelaine

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On many instances it isn't what we say but how we choose to express ourselves that causes the problem. From what you've shared thus far it doesn't appear that you are being intentionally willful or disrespectful. You may simply enjoy good banter and are naturally curious. Where you run into trouble is the fact that you are becoming skilled in the art of argument, moreso than most. When he retorts you fall into a pattern of action that is reminiscent of what you've done in class.

I don't think the questions should cease and while you can attempt to alter your approach you can't change who you are completely. Perhaps this is a great tool that you and your owner could utilize in a different capacity. Rather than bombard him with questions that lead to unpleasant exchanges, why do you put into place a q&a schedule that would allow you to discuss a variety of topics in a welcome environment?

I'm certain it wouldn't be difficult to set aside a half hour each day for this until you become accustomed to his preferences. I have also noted with myself that this aspect of my personality really comes out when I'm in the company of someone that has the intellectual prowess and capacity to keep pace with me.

In your case you know you're fighting a losing battle on one end because of the power exchange. If you find pleasure in matching wits, your task is to discover how you both can explore mental masturbation without trodding on each other's toes. Choose a subject, decide your position, and let the debate begin. Not only is this a wonderful way for you to reinforce what you're learning in class, but it affords you both the opportunity to discover new subjects, relieve tension, and have some unexpected fun.

Best of luck to you!

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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RE: help controling my mouth? - 8/13/2006 8:11:09 AM

Pimpernell

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I wouldn't go straight from kickboxing class to a ballroom dancing session. My body would be reacting in a certain way. Just like your mind is. Nothing wrong with it.

All you need is time to unwind and change the mood.

What you need is a ritual that indicates this change. Spend half an hour, taking a bath, drink tea, wear a certain colour just for him. Make this a habit before you see him everytime. After a while it will take less time to adjust your thinking. There still may be a place for it in the relationship, but it will be by choice.

< Message edited by Pimpernell -- 8/13/2006 8:13:23 AM >

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