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LadyHugs -> RE: questions to ask a potential mistress (8/27/2006 9:28:21 PM)
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Dear mommysgoodgirl, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I am a female dominant and have newspaper articles and individuals that can identify me as 'all woman.' I do have concerns though, when it comes to the verification process, as some Cross-dressing chaps look better than some females--me included. Some have gender reassigned themselves as well and that needs to be considered. So, nothing is easily done over web cams as to be authentic woman until you're in real life and even so, need the tests I would think.
I am also one of those late bloomers to computers and web cam is not one of those things I have.
As far as someone approaching you and or vice versa, there should be respect on both sides. Some move way to fast for my tastes and some are so slow they have to speed up to stop. Individuals are just that--individuals. Also, time into the scene/lifestyle influences their approach and behaviors, so in a way that helps guide me to if a person is new and pretending they're old schooled and scene savy.
Communication is key and although I agree with the posts made thus far, it needs to be said that regardless if Master, Mistress or slave material--communication is paramount, even to say to another person you're going to fast or to slow and maintain a comfort level. So many people come to this lifestyle on the winds of fantasy, fictional BDSM stories and movies. Some don't know how to be Masters/Mistresses as it applies to slaves as well. Just don't know how. Or, yet.
You also have closet Lesbians that have so much to learn from someone that has been out. There is a whole different 'social' structure to learn.
There are so many factors that can come to play in the first few moments of first contact. What must be maintained is your gut instincts and giving it credibility. Beyond gender preferences and tastes, respect for yourself needs to come first. Even if it means removing yourself from groups or association of people that does not give you that warm glow of safety and acceptance; you must be spot on yourself before another can come in and into your life. Do what is best for you, in that moment and in that time.
In a text based format, the use of 'girl' can be assumed as an order as much as it is an assumption as a term of endearment. Both sides are entitled to probe each other out. Asking questions is how to 'find out.' Unfortunately, for many dominants--we often have to be asking questions where we don't get answers of what we want to hear but, need to hear. So many times, I've personally had a person change their answers as to suit what I wanted to hear. Not good, I assure you. We need authentic people as much as a searching slave needs an authentic dominant. So, I am sure anybody regardless, who seeks must ask questions as to find the authentic side of it all.
The way people ask questions do lack lass. Some are classy and some are down right rude. And, as far as what a person is wearing, well--I do admit, when I was an active equestrian, I was not wearing dresses unless in a driving class. That does not mean that I'm not a woman. Women are in many fields that require masculine attire as it is functional. So, that can be a false assumption if to base a gender on somebody's attire. Ladies are blacksmithing, doing ranching, police and fire department work. Ladies are doing telephone line installing, electrical/power pole climbing, putting in ditches, running big machines. Ladies are mechanics and gosh who knows now days. Shower and slap on a few layers of makeup and slide into some fancy dress, into stillettos and they're beauty queens. Women are amazing when they wish to be.
Respectfully submitted with a tad of wit,
Lady Hugs
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