RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 9:31:45 AM

darkinshadows

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I really do not have anything to add, I just wished to acknowledge your OP and state it set my mind thinking deeply.

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 11:15:45 AM

PairOfDimes

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< Message edited by PairOfDimes -- 8/21/2006 11:16:15 AM >

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 11:21:08 AM

mp072004

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Heck, why can't the het male submissive work a full-time job AND do the lion's share of the housework? Many women in heterosexual monogamous households have done that for the last half-century.

Really, I would not quit my job. It's my primary source of happiness. If my primary or live-in relationship were with a man who had agreed to submit to me, I would still want him to work, because my wonderful job does not come with a wonderful salary, and supporting two adults on it would require very lean living. I would, ideally, want him to have a high-earning job and share much of his salary so I could enjoy some expensive treats without changing my own job.

Monica

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 12:56:56 PM

MstrssPassion

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I wasn't talking about this community either... the lectures we speak at & the support group we run has absolutely nothing to do with this particular lifestyle.

If there are any inquiring minds at this point in the discussion: We have spoken at political assemblies & at colleges/universities on the topic of gender identity & rights of the GLBT community. Our group meets at a GLBT community center. We volunteer our time with many functions that are held at the community center. I spent quite a bit of time talking with guidance counselors at the schools my children attend to help them get in touch with a proper support team in establishing programs for kids struggling with gender identity or orientation. I haven't done so since moving but I also use to volunteer at a animal shelter helping adoptable dogs to become better leash trained. This greatly improved their chances of being adopted.

As others have commented & since this is a point & counter point discussion I still hold to my original opinion on this subject.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 8/21/2006 1:19:54 PM >

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 3:24:30 PM

BrokenDoll

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I have a question why does it have to be to such extremes as those?

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 10:18:44 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

My own personal thing is as follows: Any relationship I will ever be in will have nothing to do with either of us controlling the other person's money, for numerous reasons. I also feel that, despite lovey-dovey proclamations of eternal, undying love, chances are high the relationship will not last forever, and therefore, the person who did not work for 10 years, or even 2 years, is at a significant disadvantage finding a job again.

I also do not think I could ever date/be together with someone who was entirely dependant on me for my money, or someone who was happy sitting at home "eating bonbons," or someone who did not have a career they were passionate about.

As one of my bosses once said, "People don't have careers primarily to make money, they have them to validate their existance."

Yours,

benji

In a perfect world, wouldn't you prefer to validate your existence doing something you loved, and not worry about the money? My stay-at-home-husband (who does not eat bon bons) is able to volunteer for a cause he cares deeply about because he has additional free time. This makes us both feel good.

There's been a perception here that the stay-at-home person is lazy or sits around all day. Of course, I would put a lazy SOB to work also if that's how he choose to spend his days. I'd make him work, and then hire a maid. And a cook. But I don't have to hire either, because he does it all; and he can fill up an entire day, easily, taking care of those things, doing his volunteer work and then making sure I'm pampered when I get home from my intense and stressful job. I've not tasted store bought bread in 3 years (he bakes everything), I have not seen the inside of a grocery store, I have not folded a piece of laundry. Sure, I work hellish long hours quite often and travel a lot for my career - but I love what I do.

Someone else suggested that a sub should be able to work and also do a fair share of the household duties; that's the rub, I don't want to do any of them. I can earn a decent living, but I am not domestic. And I would rather not have TWO tired, fussy people who are juggling long work hours and then spending weekends cleaning or doing chores. I want our free time to be free time.

Money is not everything. I am not rich, but I do ok; if my husband worked, we'd be very well off. But money can only buy so much, and it can't buy serenity. The intangibles that come from having a domestic partner far outweigh any financial rewards.

Akasha

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/21/2006 10:56:27 PM

amayos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Femdoms should not have to work for a living

I wonder how much derision this post would incur if the above subject line favored the other sex?

< Message edited by amayos -- 8/21/2006 11:03:57 PM >

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/22/2006 2:44:06 AM

heartfeltsub

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i was wondering the same thing amayos.

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/22/2006 3:07:15 AM

SusanofO

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I think I will start that thread. Just to see what will happen. I've been wanting to see the world blow up, and online is safer than real life (just kidding. I do agree w/you). Personally, I don't care - I think it's up to the two folks involved.

- Susan

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/22/2006 7:18:44 PM

chgosubmale

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Money is power, plain and simple. No matter how much we try to say that money doesn't matter, it does. Disputes over money are a huge contributor to divorce in America today, even where the couple is well off.

That's why I would think that having a submissive support you financially would ultimately undermine the power relationship. I can see the appeal, but, if you are dependent on a submissive for your financial livelihood, then the submissive has a hold on you. If he walks, you could be left in the lurch. Conversely, when you have a submissive at home who does not work and is financially dependent on you, then that gives you extra power in the relationship. Regardless of where you fall between these two extremes, it is inevitable that money will have some role to play in defining the power structure of the relationship.

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RE: Femdoms should not have to work for a living - 8/22/2006 11:42:02 PM

Hercuckslave

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Mistress and I both have careers and work outside the home. She is an IT professional, and I own my own business. I make high end custom furniture, and I LOVE my work very much. It is a very satisfying and creative way to make a living. Mistress loves her job at times, and at times not so much. As my business has grown, so has my income and future stability. I would LOVE to be able to say to Mistress that my income is more than enough for both of us. Not necessarily so she could just stay at home (though if that was her choice, that would be fine with me), but more so that she could explore other areas of her creativity, and pursue other dreams and aspirations that she had to put on hold as a mother who had to raise her kids on her own. If what she chooses brings money into the house, that would be an added bonus. If she chooses to pursue writing or art or charity work or some other venture that would have an uncertain economic outcome, I would be perfectly happy with that as well. I just want it to be her choice based on what she wants deep inside, not based on what her obligations dictate.

As others have stated, it all depends on the individuals in question. For me, I would love to be able to give Mistress the freedom to not HAVE to work, and rather work on what she chooses. That day is soon coming.

M's m

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