could someone please explain the difference between a sub and a slave as well as a Dom and Master?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> could someone please explain the difference between a sub and a slave as well as a Dom and Master?

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could someone please explain the difference between a s... - 12/31/2004 11:30:23 AM

curiousub

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 12/31/2004 2:03:38 PM

proudsub

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quote:

I am very interested in the difference between a sub and a slave as well as what is different between a Dom/Domme and Master/Mistress. I have assumed a Dom and Master were the same, however I am begining to wonder if that is correct.
Thank you in advance for any and all responses.

If you browse through some old threads here you will find that there are almost as many definitions for these terms as there are people in the lifestyle.

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proudsub

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 12/31/2004 2:35:00 PM

RealityFix

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Just off the cuff, my definition is this:

A submissive reserves limits and keeps the power,releasing it on a case by case basis to a Dominant.

A slave *cedes* power completely to a Master, and His limts become hers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Which explains why a lot of folks tend to guffaw a bit about slave setting limits.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 12/31/2004 2:39:06 PM

sarbonn

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I thought the difference was the spelling.

In seriousness, the definitions are of such debate in the community that I don't think anyone is actually really correct. Personally, I tend to believe a slave is a type of submissive, while a submissive is the original paradigm that branches off into slavery without having to be slavery itself.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 12/31/2004 6:46:07 PM

nella

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this remind me of the dabate on the differenace of High and Low Magick on many Occult forums, there are so many definitions. Some means it means that Low magick is magick for physical goals and High magick for spiritual growth, some that the names come from where in the contry it was practiced. There are alot of argument, but basicaly, it are just words.

I think it is the same whit slave and submissive, they are just words, they have the meaning you give to them.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 12/31/2004 10:36:03 PM

Lordandmaster

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To me the difference is that people are inherently dom or sub, but a slave cannot be a slave without a master, just as a master cannot be a master without a slave. In other words, a dom is someone who is naturally dominant; a master is a dom who owns a slave.

But everyone is entitled to their own definitions. There are those who get loudly pissed off when people with little experience call themselves "master" or "slave"; I think there are more important things in life to get pissed off about.

Lam

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 12/31/2004 11:25:50 PM

harmony3709

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sarbonn

Personally, I tend to believe a slave is a type of submissive, while a submissive is the original paradigm that branches off into slavery without having to be slavery itself.

I really like that definition......succinct and well said, thank you!!!

Happy New Year!

harmony

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/1/2005 6:25:57 AM

masterLon3446

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greetings all. Please excuse me if I am not to post questions in this area. I am new to the site and the lifestyle as well.
I am very interested in the difference between a sub and a slave as well as what is different between a Dom/Domme and Master/Mistress. I have assumed a Dom and Master were the same, however I am begining to wonder if that is correct.
Thank you in advance for any and all responses.

The answers given to you in this forum were all correct, no one is wrong, each walk a different path so we are going to think a little differently. I tend to agree with LaM, concerning Dom/Master and RealityFix concerning sub/slave..and also agree with proudsub, be safe and well on your journey...

MasterLon

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/1/2005 3:54:36 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

greetings all. Please excuse me if I am not to post questions in this area. I am new to the site and the lifestyle as well.

lon,
We for the most part follow a strict rule here. Post wherever you wish as long as you have something to add.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/1/2005 9:48:21 PM

Nvernilla

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Each relation ship has different boundries but by the accepted definition of the word slave there are no limits, rights or privleges unless given by the Dom...

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/1/2005 11:47:21 PM

DaddyAngel

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Submission is psychological, slavery is physical. Not all slaves are submissive and vice-versa.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 2:47:25 AM

Paulnz

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I see very little difference in reality. In theory I would argue that a slave is owned as property, which implies the owner has the right to sell the slave. The owner has the exclusive proprietary right over the slave.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 3:28:28 AM

nella

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Basicaly this is how i have understood it, even if many pepole have other meanings for the words:

Bottom: Somone that like to be dominated and taken controll over from time to time, they are not submissive in their relationships normaly, but like to act this out in the bedroom (or whatever.) for shorter or longer periods of time.

Submissive: One that is submissive and often live as one in a relationship. But that still are their own person, they are part of a relationship, it is just that the role they have is submissive. They have given their Dom limits to what can be done to them, and they can frankly pack up and leve if it pleases them.

Slave: A slave is a submissive that has given away all rights, and has nothing exept what the dominant gives them, on one leve they are owned. Offcourse if they up and left, no Norweegian or Amarican or any Western court would force them to stay and instead trow the Master that tried to stop them in jail. But in teory they are property, and even if loved by their Master, they are still not equal.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 6:10:45 AM

Jasmyn

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I see no difference between the two.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 7:20:44 AM

SirShadyOne

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Pulled from my webpage...it's kind of long but not more than a few minutes. Hope this helps somewhat:

Slave or submissive?
One question I hear often, and it is rarely brought up without stirring up
controversy is, "What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?" First off, let me say that most everyone has their own definition of this and each person is entitled to his or her own view, which should be respected by others. That said, I will attempt to explain my definition and what the differences are to me.

The techinical definition of a slave taken from a dictionary is one who is property bound to a person or a household. The technical definition of a submissive is one inclined or willing to submit. These are both fairly accurate to me.

I believe the difference rests in the options of choice. A slave has prenegotiated all rights and enters into a relationship fully trusting that her Master will make all decisions with her best interest in mind and act accordingly. She no longer has the right to object, but knowing she has made her choice patiently and wisely, there is no need to. Meanwhile, a submissive gives up control in a different way, holding onto the ability to say no and renegotiate situations.

Neither of these are wrong or better than the other, yet to me the slave enters into this more deeply and holds more trust in her Master to make choices for her that will nurture her and make her a better person for both herself and for him. A submissive, of course will gain growth and benefit from proper guidance as well, but does so in a manner that she feels is more safe and doesn't require total control. Being a slave also requires a 24/7 fulltime commitment or TPE (Total Power Exchange), generally living with thier Master to best serve his needs. A submissive
can live separately from their Dominant while still serving at times determined at their convenience. A submissive has choices and thier own livelihood is not entirely wrapped up in the needs of their Dominant.

Both positions require commitment and the strength to sacrifice. Both require a caring, trustworthy person to provide guidance. A slave requires regularly demostrated love and utter leadership. A submissive may not need this deep of commitment. These are the differences to me, and while I admire both for what they give, it is my slave that brings me complete happiness.

Whatever choices or definitions you make for yourself and your partner, they are yours and you should be true to them. Going over your head will most likely hurt both yourself and your partner eventually.Keep in mind that people will not always agree and you will find that in time, and with experience, you will redefine many things within yourself and your relationship as you grow. Respect others decisions, definitions and choices and expect them to respect your own. Different choices
create joy for different people.

Shady

Won't the real Me please stand up?

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 1:54:39 PM

Focus50

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As you can already see, everyone has their own definition, as do I, and the best way to make sense of it is to consider all perspectives and decide how that equates to your own thoughts, wants, needs, desires, goals and current life situation.... With a bit of experience, you'll soon know where you fit.

I define Master and slave as committment.... First and most basic pre-requisite for being a Master is to actually own a slave and vice-versa.... I believe all Masters are Doms but not all Doms wish to be Masters. A vanilla comparison is that all husbands are men but not all men are husbands.

Your relationship is lived as Master & slave, it's not just about roles for physical play - the dynamic of M/s operates outside of scening. A D/s relationship, on the other hand, tends to be more about how you play and express intimacy and the D/s couples I know generally live as equal vanillas until next they scene....

Of course, there's still room to be equal vanilla partners in M/s when the mood suits; being "in role" all the time can be draining and, besides, owning a slave is owning *all* she is. But generally, M/s means far greater controls over the sub/slave that's not scene related.... For example, my slave dresses, grooms and generally maintains her body to my expectations of a feminine woman - my last slave, for eg, had short hair and I required her to let it grow. Temperature and mood permitting, I keep her naked at home when we're alone and so forth. These (and many more) are examples of the Dominant/submissive dynamic operating outside of physical scening and that dynamic is what the very relationship is founded upon and why I regard it as an M/s rather than D/s relationship.

Focus50.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 2:16:38 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

I am very interested in the difference between a sub and a slave as well as what is different between a Dom/Domme and Master/Mistress.

I think there is a difference and I have distinct definitions, but the only person who needs to have the same definitions is my slave. I was fortunate to find someone who does. I suggest you define yourself not by any label, but by your desires, needs, and goals. Seek someone who meets as many of those as possible, while you meet as many as possible of his/hers. Then, when you're laying there in the afterglow, having consummated your relationship; decide whatever it is you want to call yourself - I'll bet anyone else's definition at that point won't be important or even necessary.

But if you really want some random 'stream of conscience' thoughts on the subject....

....Think of the difference between a pool and an ocean. You get wet in both, you can drown in both, you can hurt your head or even kill yourself diving into both, both can be 'refreshing', but it's less likely to get eaten by a shark in a pool. (unless you're visiting Sea World)

Or...
...think of it as a henna versus a needle/ink tattoo. Both may look great, but one is more permanent.

Or...
...think of the difference between being married and being engaged. Your committed in both situations, but ending one is easier then ending the other.

Or....
....NYC, some hate it, some think it's a nice place to visit, and some can't think of living anywhere else.

Or...Hell, forget trying to define the undefinable, sip some fine wine, consider an easier question like; does God exist? And if he does and is all powerful - can he create a rock so large that he can't lift it?

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/3/2005 3:15:42 PM

curiousub

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Thank you everyone for your input and information. I appreciate all of the comments. It does appear that the definitions and differences between a sub and a slave are as diverse and broadranged as hair colors. What I have learned from the answers is that as in most things in life I will have to form my own opinions.

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RE: could someone please explain the difference between... - 1/4/2005 3:42:55 AM

domtimothy46176

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I have found in my experiences that the most important thing to knpw about labels is that they are differently defined. It is important when they come up in conversation with a prospective partner to ensure you have a common understanding of the concept behind the word. It doesn't matter much to me if my girl thinks she is a submissive or a slave so long as I understand what she means when she uses the word. Without that understanding miscommunication is much more likely.
Be well and good luck in your search,
Timothy

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